I really need Assertiveness training

[MarkKol]

After Im at least halfway through getting my Life Purpose stuff together, I want to go through some sort of a 'hardening phase' or assertiveness growth. I have trouble standing up to people even when I'm in the right. As I grow up and become more independent it's becoming increasingly more painful to be stumped on and disrespected. 

 

So if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, don't hesitate to share them here. I was thinking of joining the military to accomplish it but I find it kinda long and extreme. I don't need physical strength (at least I don't think I do) I need mental durability 

I wonder if becoming more of a conservative could place me on this path

I really thought I was deep in stage green, which I still might be... but its clear that I have a lot of stage orange qualities that need work, better late than never I guess. 

[MarkKol]

I don't even know if I need this kind of thing, will I waste my time doing it?

I think my best life would probably be 0 human interaction. Probably somewhere on an island given that I don't have trouble surviving on it.

I really don't crave interaction, I think my mind would be an awesome companion on its own.

[Tyler Robinson]

@MarkKol try debating with people but make sure to emphasize your points with affirmation. Use statements like "I want" "I'm sure" etc. 

Start with I am statements. 

Stick to what you say. Don't be vague or all over the place. 

Act and talk strict. 

Say no when you don't like something. 

Be firm. 

[Raze]

Read “when I say no I feel guilty“ by Manuel J Smith 

[Leo Gura]

Pickup teaches you this.

[King Merk]

Read the Subtle Art Of Not Giving a Fuck

I bet that would help you.

Also look into developing a skill where assertiveness is required.

Leo mentioned pickup but I prefer Brazilian jui jitsu.

BJJ will teach you physical strength, mental strength, assertiveness, discipline, etc. 

[MarkKol]

everything noted ^

 

[Ulax]

I second the Manuel Smith suggestion.

Also, to my understanding, what you need to work with are the emotions of anger and shame. I think this is where a lot of assertiveness training falls short, if you don't work with the underlying feelings of shame around worthiness to set boundaries, and get in touch with healthy anger which can show you, imo, where your boundaries are then boundary setting will continue to be an issue.

[Basman]

Quote

I was thinking of joining the military to accomplish it but I find it kinda long and extreme. I don't need physical strength (at least I don't think I do) I need mental durability 

The physical aspect of military training isn't just to make you physically strong, but to prepare you for dealing with high stress situations (I.E. combat). The training is often intense and arduous and goes beyound simply making you fit. You might be put through grueling tasks on little sleep for example. When you are getting shot at, you don't have the luxury of "pacing yourself" like we normally do when we exercise. You have to be able to explode into action.

With that said, maybe what you are looking for is more of a stage red sort of thing. Military is more stage blue, but I still think you could benefit from it if it's something for you.