Is wrong to be in a one sided relationship?

[Vivaldo]

Is it right fantasizing about crushes? And thinking and obsessing about them? 

Every time I fall into this trap, it doesn't not work out well.? 

 

Edited March 3, 2022 by Vivaldo

[NoSelfSelf]

What you doing is banging your head againts the wall distracting yourself from working to be attractive, to attract that type of girl you desire which is not an easy task, so you get your fix from engaging in emotional phantasy that gives you some low level satisfaction and in the end you feel more unworthy ...

[Raze]

It’s not wrong, but it’s better for you if you are present and don’t let the mind wander and generate suffering.

[Preety_India]

A crush is not a big deal. What is toxic is how attached you are to your crush. To the point that you see them getting married to someone else and it breaks your heart. 

Unnecessary emotional pain that could have been prevented. 

 

[Vivaldo]

@Preety_India exactly ????? 

Too much pain lol ? 

[Vivaldo]

@NoSelfSelf man you stole my words from my mouth! 

Edited March 3, 2022 by Vivaldo

[NoSelfSelf]

@Vivaldo im more of a mr. steal yo words than mr.steal yo girl ?

[Vivaldo]

@NoSelfSelf you are on fleek bruh!?

[Vivaldo]

@Preety_India I don't wanna get attached but it just happens... Is it human nature? Don't all of us do that? Probably a fault of God

[Preety_India]

15 minutes ago, Vivaldo said:

@Preety_India I don't wanna get attached but it just happens... Is it human nature? Don't all of us do that? Probably a fault of God

Human nature is to engage in drinking, partying and eating junk food. 

Controlling the side of human nature that can get toxic is in your hands. 

You can't control it completely so having an ordinary crush is okay but if you went off the deep end, it will be problematic for nobody but you. 

 

[Vivaldo]

@Preety_India yeah it's really hard u know when someone you feel heavily invested into doesn't return the same. I mean 50% of the love songs are about one sided. I feel like tho I can relate with the songs better now as a positive impact ??

[Vivaldo]

@Preety_India  crush culture  makes me wanna spill my guts out. ? I know what you doing trying to get me to purse ya....  

Lol ?

 

Edited March 3, 2022 by Vivaldo

[Striving for more]

It's more about energy & belief behind it. Using "fantasizing" it' already suggests dating success is merely a phantasy to you, just a pipe dream.

Better to "Visualize" deeply your success, fantasizing is for losers. 

Edited March 4, 2022 by Striving for more

[Chrisd]

On 3-3-2022 at 9:04 AM, Vivaldo said:

Is it right fantasizing about crushes? And thinking and obsessing about them? 

Every time I fall into this trap, it doesn't not work out well.? 

 

I enjoy fantasizing about my crush, I don't see the problem

What doesn't work out?

Personally I enjoy the intensity of the crush.

[Vivaldo]

@Chrisd then you find out that they don't like you. That hurts. Also that they give attention to others.

[Chrisd]

Right, it's the neediness that hurts. I like you therefore you should like me.

[egoeimai]

Hi. As you fantasize them you are building this image which later you'll experience it's not true. Do you want to feel like crap facing reality? No.

Only if you never meet them and do nothing with them you can keep fantasizing about them because it will cause nothing and it will be only a thought/feeling pattern which you can use as a distraction from the awful world we live in and then yeah it will be a great tool. 

 

[Chrisd]

2 hours ago, egoeimai said:

Hi. As you fantasize them you are building this image which later you'll experience it's not true. Do you want to feel like crap facing reality? No.

Only if you never meet them and do nothing with them you can keep fantasizing about them because it will cause nothing and it will be only a thought/feeling pattern which you can use as a distraction from the awful world we live in and then yeah it will be a great tool. 

 

No image is true...

As long as you distinguish between fantasy and reality (meeting the other person as they are, not as what you imagine them to be) you're OK. 

What awful world are you talking about

 

[Vivaldo]

@Chrisd @Chrisd of course I imagine them to like and be in a relationship wimme. What is the point if I only crush on them if I don't wanna take it forward?

[Chrisd]

1 hour ago, Vivaldo said:

@Chrisd @Chrisd of course I imagine them to like and be in a relationship wimme. What is the point if I only crush on them if I don't wanna take it forward?

What's the point of enjoying? 

But you want your crush to like you and be in a relationship with you.

Why aren't you meeting someone like this?