This getting on my nerves, just do it.

[KoryKat]

Just do it.

 

I overthink.

I will get hung up on a phrase for hours like arguing against it from all angles while I am floating around in my space. Hopefully being productive, mostly not.

 

Why cant I simply do like I was back in summer last year? I just had one of those "mindfulness?? FUCK! I forgot to be doing this again!!" 

I was actively trying to hit my best it seemed like, getting my physical body, mind ,energy all good. Not being LAZYY, like keeping organized clean and tidy. 

 

What happened?

I went back around people I knew. I felt like a king that could take on the best, I showed up at a new job and was like overkilling it... And the echoes of conversations and phrases in mind started sponging up small-town laziness, and it was a morphological unwinding of good habits into old habits, started skipping gym day and 3 months later im suicidal quitting my job on my birthday, because I had 150% at least expected of me by my job, and I was like "nahhh not on my birthday"

 

If i had kept going up instead of going back down, that day could of been my opportunity to prove to myself "I am 150%+" or something, but no...  I regressed

 

"Just do it..."

The cycle has been driving me crazy. I explore every option. Over and over and over it churns. The mind keeps looking everywhere, and nothing happens.  

 

Why do I not restart my morning ritual?

Why do I not have habits I am building?

Its like extreme Peter-Pan never growing up and maintaining a job. Constantly like 10-20-30 ideas, I try to aim for 1-2 things and the brain storms on. I sing and dance through the rhythm of chaos. 

 

I cant think about one thing and just like do it.

I keep running away from myself. I keep forgetting goals. I keep moving and thinking, and I can't sit still and get things done...

 

It is so annnoyyyyinggg!!! 

 

Much love fam

-Kory

Edited February 24, 2022 by KoryKat
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[egoeimai]

Do it before it's too late. Don't let yourself be lost in thoughts.

[universe]

It's good that you are seeing your own patterns.

Sometimes when we deliberately pull ourselves down, it's because we don't feel comfortable or worthy with our new "life".

For example, when you feel like you don't deserve a "good life" or you have the belief that successful people are corrupt/bad.

Same as when you are feeling guilty, accidents are more likely happen.

So if you have done everything else already you might benefit from starting to explore your feelings and beliefs.

 

Otherwise, get a clear vision and then commit to it 100%.

[Preety_India]

Try to improve your mental concentration by focusing on one thing at a time and only on that. Meditation 10 minutes also improves focus. 

Right now your mind is all over the place. 

Keep a journaling habit. 

You need Bullet focus. 

 

[SonataAllegro]

Sounds like you over exerted yourself and burned out. There’s nothing wrong with you for burning out. Try to pay attention to your energy and motivation levels and conserve them. And be softer with yourself. Counterintuitively, your harshness at yourself is not helping you get back on track, it’s throwing you off.

[PepperBlossoms]

I could be totally wrong but you sound like my twin replica.  (I guess this is what I would suggest to my twin me haha)

Read page 87-89 on Flight (or the entire book - I am actually on the section I just suggested haha but it sounds like a good fit actually):  https://blobby.wsimg.com/go/a7124a00-f63c-4010-bbdc-5020f1cf45aa/Complex PTSD_ From Surviving to Thriving ( PDF.pdf

I've been called a child and then looked this up and found this and then the book above https://www.michaelsamsel.com/Content/Individuals/adult_child_syndrome.html

Also, thoughts all the time could be high ideaphoria - it's a skill/talent/aptitude (I have it too)

I've quit jobs too but meh I think it was for the better and they were not something that utilized my strengths.

It's okay to go from doing a lot to doing nothing.  Sometimes seeking calmness when we feel too chaotic can be helpful - like trying to seek stillness, quiet, peace.  This book helped on accepting that: (read first paragraph starting with "Listen" on page 123 of pdf, 124 of the book text) https://www.perfectbrilliantstillness.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Book-from-PerfectBrilliantStillness.org_.pdf

What has also helped is noticing that the thoughts are not complete and will never necessarily be complete and that we can get trapped in thoughts like when we forget we are watching tv and to notice when oneself is so focused on thoughts and try to back out of that.

Ask yourself - what is going to be the most helpful immediate thing for me and start doing that.

It's okay to have all these different ideas you want to think about.  When that happens to me, I try to write all of them down and then pick one to think about and if I feel I have exhausted that one, I can then go to the next on the list.  Also what helps is typing it so you can write it faster and I guess I like writing because I can see/store the thought and don't have to keep on repeating it over and over again to hold it in my head.  Having a blog (I used wordpress.com, free) can help get those thoughts out.  I've also liked using Microsoft Paint for thoughts as I can use the text function and put them all over the place.  Also its cool to have a large dry erase board and write them on there but note that hand writing will be slower than typing.  Also tools like Scrivener are cool if you want to turn it into a book.  Also, Trello helps (free, Trello.com) for organizing activities and that is a kanban style thing.

Edited February 25, 2022 by PepperBlossoms

[Federico del pueblo]

Just do it!! Now!