How to reconcile two sides of yourself?

[Preety_India]

Whenever I psychoanalyze myself, I see two sides in me. 

One is polite, gentle, helpful, caring, sweet and funny. Subdued. Submissive. 

The other is mean, bitchy(bitch - like),  critical, psychopathic, sketchy, condescending, egotistical, selfish, narcissistic etc. 

I sometimes take pride in having attitude. 

I switch between the two very often. I can almost see myself switching between the two. 

There is always a tug of war between these two sides. I feel conflicted because of that and it often ruins my relationship with people who I interact with. 

I don't think I want to get rid of the bitchy side. I don't like to pretend that I'm nice. 

How should I reconcile these two sides? 

 

Edited February 8, 2022 by Preety_India

[SamC]

Look up the book Anatomy of loneliness. Its about how to resolve what you are talking about.

[SonataAllegro]

See them both, love them both, see the conflict, love the conflict. You can’t force a reconciliation, it comes through honesty.

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, SonataAllegro said:

See them both, love them both, see the conflict, love the conflict. You can’t force a reconciliation, it comes through honesty.

I sometimes laugh about my bitchy side. Is it okay to laugh about it? 

 

[SonataAllegro]

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I sometimes laugh about my bitchy side. Is it okay to laugh about it? 

 

Of course! Laughter breaks through the ego's density and belief that it needs to hide itself in shame.

[Raze]

Try self therapy by Jay Earely

[NoSelfSelf]

Interesting that you see both sides usually people see only one and fight for that side...embracing both sides equally and making it a whole part of yourself its whats the healithiest and key to being your true authentic expression...

[LastThursday]

17 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Whenever I psychoanalyze myself, I see two sides in me.

There are probably more sides to you, but these two are especially important to you. 

I would try and look for the commonality between the two sides. For example, your caring aspect might be about giving love to others; and your selfish aspect is about giving love to yourself. The commonality in this case is "giving love". I'm sure you can think of more things.

Looking for commonalities is the way to resolve any conflict within yourself (or outside yourself).

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, LastThursday said:

There are probably more sides to you, but these two are especially important to you. 

I would try and look for the commonality between the two sides. For example, your caring aspect might be about giving love to others; and your selfish aspect is about giving love to yourself. The commonality in this case is "giving love". I'm sure you can think of more things.

Looking for commonalities is the way to resolve any conflict within yourself (or outside yourself).

That was really nice. I like that perspective. 

 

[Etherial Cat]

@Preety_India

Shadow work combined with understanding fragmentation and its set of diverse healing technics .

I hope that helps.