somegirl

My brother is destroying himself. I need help.

27 posts in this topic

It can be quite sad to watch people around you destroy themselves. Once you start really improving your life and you see how great it is, then you want others to do the same naturally. Unfortunately, most people are not going to really do the change until the suffering is so bad that they can't reverse the damage. Even then they still might not change. 

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@somegirl exactly. I know it seems counter intuitive but it will definitely help you most importantly but he will feel the energy too.

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On 1/31/2022 at 5:41 PM, somegirl said:

He is diabetic, 29 years old, but the most upsetting thing I see is him not caring about his health at all, and my parents worrying about him. 

He cares about his health. 

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He has this pent up negative energy boiling inside of him and it shows. He is deeply unsatisfied and frustrated individual who works overtime (from morning till night literally) so he can fill the void inside of him. (For the record, he is very unhappy with my family's money situation).

He doesn’t have pent up negative energy anymore than you, he experiences the same emotions as you. There is no negative energy, but there is judgement or the belief in it. 

He isn’t a deeply unsatisfied and frustrated individual, that’s defining and judging him by his experience. There’s no void inside of him. What’s in you, same as what’s in him. 

He’s not unhappy with the family’s money situation, he’s happiness conditioned by the family’s limiting beliefs about money. 

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Whenever he walks inside our house, I can just feel his negativity and I (even though it sounds bad) oftentimes don't like seeing him because he is very unpleasant to talk to. He doesn't know how to answer in a calm tone, he always yells, and complains about everything in his life. And I'm not exaggerating. This is him 24/7.

He doesn’t have negativity, he’s innocent & experiencing the suffering of ignore-ance. He isn’t unpleasant to talk to, that’s defining him with one’s opinion. Seeing him is unconditional, it’s the defining him as negative and unpleasant which doesn’t feel good. He is opening up, look at the emotions and expression vs categorizing it as complaining. 

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Today he picked wrong insulin and injected it into his hand, and instead of taking care of it and asking doctors what he can do now, he decided not to care about it. It's as if he wants to kill himself. Generally he seems pretty uninterested in food and what he has to eat (because of his condition he needs to measure the amount of food he eats and has to avoid certain food), but instead he relies on my mom to take care of it. As if he will never have to live on his own and take care of himself at one point.

At 29 it’s safe to say evidently he doesn’t have to. But helping him to see that he wants to might be fruitful. It’d follow the ‘complaining’ when not defined by & judged for what he’s expressing. 

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Also... My brother doesn't have a girlfriend and never did and I assume this frustration and unhappiness stems from that too. He never mentioned any girl in his life.

I honestly don't know what to do and what my parents can do. They worry about him too much but are helpless about what they can do. 

Any suggestions or advice are welcomed. 

The frustration & unhappiness are how the self referential thoughts feel. Maybe he is not heterosexual and doesn’t feel comfortable in that family sharing this due to judgement and being identity pigeonholed. Between that and the present money psychology, that isn’t a conducive environment to express how he really feels. But it could be. This coincides perfectly with the self-realization you desire, but don’t judge the pitch, just hit the ball. 


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tell him how much you care about him and assure him that you would do anything to help him improve. like helping him find his passion and then tracking his progress for the ultimate point. all he needs NOW is love and somebody who could lend a helping hand to him and who could be better than his sister who loves him unconditionally?


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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God bless your brother...


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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his frustration comes from never having a gf. Romantic intimacy is a very fundamental need and it's understandable if someone can't attain it they would see no point to life. Don't look at the symptoms but how can he fix the root problem which is his romantic frustration, is it his appearance , behaviour , does he even try etc 

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