I WAS ATTACKED BY DEMONS

[Loba]

I'll tell you what I know of dark energies, but I am just a novice.
The universe/consciousness has yin energy and yang energy.  One encompasses energy that is dark and heavy, and the other light and free.  You just have to learn to orient your compass differently if you don't want this type of energy.

I had a feeling you would fall into it on your own at some point based on how you write, I can sense you are open in that way to receive energies and be able to translate them.  Sometimes this creates shamans or healers, sometimes it will create dysfunction or mental illness in you.  The universe is slightly predatory like this in how karma works.  You can have actions - or a momentum of high energy or lower based on where/how you were raised or what you picked up in life/genetics/ect.

When you start to become more aware of your energetic system, you can then sense these beings in 5D.

When I feel dark energy, it feels like a space outside of timespace, where all the negative actions that have happened on this planet are, they sing all in unison.  

"I want to feel, I want to feel, I want to feel."

*timestamped* Near the end ^  It isn't evil, it's just all the heavy actions that have been taken.

And it wants to grow just like light energy does.  You can explore this space, too, just don't let anything attach to you.

http://maryshutan.com/darkness-spirit-and-the-feminine/

@Zigzag Idiot knows a lot about the energetic body.  If you want to develop a compass for this work.  'Cause you'll want to know how to clean it, remove these entities, move in between light and dark energy, ect.

My phone is off right now, but when I charge it I will send you some info on how to understand energies, clear your energetic space and so on so you can get started.

Edited August 16, 2021 by Loba

[lmfao]

@Loba with me it feels like I'm constantly feeling a "Light". A buzzing light feeling.  However, the light is almost wants to form a new ego, and it's extremely arrogant, and sees itself as not human. It can't generate much compassion for others, it instead looks down. 

So it might be a temporary alter ego, will have to see if it remains. What I want is for this light to strongly remain or become integrated in some way. It shows me very important things, in regards to strength of character as well 

The new ego wishes to talk and talk as well, prior to this, not so much. But I should go back to the contemplation and meditation gold mines when I can. 

Seems I was already in the dark maybe, but some light came along and just made the feast more spectacular

--

Edit: So after meditating again, I had the kundalini ish phenomena of body jerking/shaking rising and rising, before exploding into silence. I imagined another voice inside my head briefly. Its my imagination rather than psychosis. The experience was more tame and shorter. 

Whatever the Lucifer or Light alter ego was, its faded for now, but not the sensations of it. Still some glow. I shed a few tears as I did a half hearted surrender of "it". Since all these things can and are happening in such a short span of time, from hereon in I'll try to get accustomed to this being the new normal. As opposed to panicking so much that I rush to others out of panic and guidance, and see every micro-occurrence within the day as worthy of lengthy elaboration. It is not worthy, but I can't help it when there's so much flux in such short time. 

 

I don't wish to internalise your ideology, but with the images and impressions, and perhaps added perspective I've had from recent experience, I'm pretty sure I've been working with "dark energy" for a while now. Many weeks and months. I just never labelled it that. 

The steps I've been taking, it's perhaps been to transition the ego and personality into something more dark. "I'll keep moving forward even if I find myself in hell" , that's what I tell myself anyway. "The choice has been between suicide or plunging into the dark". Since it is like that, I'm willing to become a demon if that is what's necessary. Whatever it takes, wherever I'm taken so long as it's not this

I feel the dark now again, as opposed to lots of light, but traces of light remain 

It seems I use speech as a form of live action or way to explicit my mind, rather than using it to make factual statements or regular discourse. And it just spews out my mouth as something to do

The words have been spoken, and I've laid myself bare. Speak anything you wish 

THE ONLY THING I'VE EVER BEEN TRULY POSSESSED BY IS A SINGLE POINTED MADNESS TO PUSH EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE USELESS ASIDE AND MARCH FORWARD OVER THE LITTER OF BURNING CORPSES THAT GET IN THE WAY 

Edited August 17, 2021 by lmfao

[BipolarGrowth]

Let me know if you want to seriously maximize the potential of communication with Lucifer. He can take you anywhere your heart desires including permanent, baseline shifts in consciousness. This is my favorite topic to teach. Seriously send me a pm. 
 

Lucifer is my spiritual guru (nondual Christianity)

 

Edited August 17, 2021 by BipolarGrowth

[Goldzilla]

 

8 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Let me know if you want to seriously maximize the potential of communication with Lucifer. He can take you anywhere your heart desires including permanent, baseline shifts in consciousness. This is my favorite topic to teach. Seriously send me a pm. 
 

Lucifer is my spiritual guru (nondual Christianity)

 

Yes, the thing with Lucifer is legit if one synchronizes with that reality and go beyond the bible. 

Hail Lucifer

[lmfao]

@BipolarGrowth yes, I'm possessed by Lucifer right now. Its as though two entities inhabit this body. They're mixing together in expression, such that there isn't a black white matter of "This is the Asian Kid talking, not Lucifer". But it is often so undeniably the case that it's this alter ego and possession. 

I feel a mild psychedelic buzz and light in my experience. However, I feel deeply uncomfortable and I was trying to resist it. 

Now, I attempt to put my attention on and relax to the sensation, in the most grounded way possible, just feeling the sensation. I feel this is the best way I can go about it. Its a tough tribulation, and I unfortunately can't downplay it's severity, since it involves my perception and identity being different now. It's very, very hard to relax into that. It would take a meditative genius 

I haven't touched those peasant tools called psychedelics, but I have no doubt that this could perhaps be likened to a psychedelic trip, except it is one which is lasting for days without stopping, perhaps longer.

My creativity and perception are enhanced; but out of the discomfort, I speak excessively and compulsively to my friends. 

I'll PM you seen enough inshallah, however, I've ranted and raved excessively to the void and heard myself talk. More talking isn't good for me right now. But the reason for my current hesitation is that I have university work to do; but perhaps we'll end up talking soon. 

--

Do you see that post I wrote to @Lobayesterday? That was little more than old memory/karma replaying itself on loop. It was muddying the water and resisting the light. It was trying to get me to fall back into the old, but it failed and the light overtook me

It was a homeostatic mechanism; what I expressed in that post has little semblance to the persona I present before you now this very moment. 

 

Look past the theatre and poetry of my language should that cause any misunderstand ; this is a dead serious thing I'm going through. Perhaps the most intense and testing thing I've ever experienced. I'll have to latch onto every ounce of leverage I can to make it, go deeper than I've ever gone before, nothing else is the way

Edited August 17, 2021 by lmfao

[lmfao]

@RMQualtrough It's not schizophrenia. But I appreciate what you said to me here about my true nature being neither of these things. 

In the absolute "worst case scenario", I just have "two egos" inside me. Double the psychic load. Or perhaps the two egos fuse into a bigger ego. Whatever the case. I can see logically how oneness or Mu would be maintained regardless. 

---

If anyone has any advice, besides taking anti-psychotic, I'm all ears 

Edited August 17, 2021 by lmfao

[lmfao]

Lucifer is not here currently. Although upon saying that its almost as if I jinxed myself

 

The flipping and flopping of proclamations. I can't quite describe my relation to thought or the contents of my mind. Sometimes I'll start a thought and pause, other times not. There are neurotic patterns of self doubt. 

I've previously alluded to it before, but not quite like this. There's a phantom nature of thought I haven't understood. And just in that split second, I was about to force my brain into useless thinking to articulate more and elaborate more. And there's this pattern of doubt, which expresses itself as criticism about myself for being about to engage in that thinking pattern. 

Thought can recognise correct and true ways to move forwards, but serpents (short-ish, light green) of worry of a sort will lock you. For example, multiple times I've had the thought that frustration with old patterns and repetitions are incentive to act different immediately. 

However, serpents of some variety always hijack this and lock me. That's the conclusion arrived at after just seeing it take place 

At the very least I hope this new experience of mine was something which loosened up the screws on my tongue.

 

And of course, as I reflect upon what I've just written, the prepubescent serpents continue their machinations

Clear my mind of the belief I can be pulled into your space (me trying to force my brain to think as I'm drawn in, whether it be with lunatic intellectuals or normies )

--

I think sitting still and sitting in silence is important for me. Not meditating even. Just a subtle letting go of playing the role

There are like different buttons and spots to put your attention to. There's a button for relaxing your shoulder, and there's also a button for relaxing the role I play

When I relax the role or it wanes, there is underlying sadness." Perhaps an interaction between the light and sadness is needed"-blah, random concept 

Edited August 18, 2021 by lmfao