SamC

What does intimacy mean for girls?

47 posts in this topic

Being in the presence of someone and being yourself without feeling judged or like you have to put on an act. There is a feeling of warmth and trust. You feel relaxed with them. They feel like home to you and you feel like home to them. 

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On 7/29/2021 at 2:45 AM, Emerald said:

There are a lot of men out there who are shut down, and that's unfortunate.

Mind you, even women tend to have issues with emotional shut-down. The world is not the best environment for being vulnerable and emotional. We value masculinity and showing that we can be strong and tough. So, it's a bit taboo for a man to integrate his feminine side. That's why you see so many men with that disintegration. The world has done them a dis-service by putting them at odds with their own vulnerability.

This is true, unfortunately - it's inevitable, I guess, when the majority of us are operating from a fear-based, separative state of consciousness, but it can still be hard to deal with. Allowing oneself to be vulnerable can feel very dangerous and frightening, it can require considerable courage to do that even with yourself, let alone with other people; finding a person with whom you feel so comfortable that you can really open up to them without fear of judgment is such a wonderful thing.

On 7/29/2021 at 2:45 AM, Emerald said:

But as a woman with same-sex attraction as well as attraction to men, I don't really believe that the reason for the same-sex attraction is because women are more in touch with emotions, persay. I'm just attracted to them on a more visual/hormonal level. But I am more attracted to men because of the masculine dynamic. When you find a guy who is integrated between both masculine and feminine side, it's really what feels best to me. 

Ahh okay, I've probably put two and two together and made five there, in that case. I can certainly understand attraction on the visual, hormonal level (well, I am a straight man, after all xD).

On 7/29/2021 at 2:45 AM, Emerald said:

If a man hasn't integrated his feminine side, it's not a place where you can feel safe enough to be in your own feminine as a woman. If a man has a repressed feminine side, the only safe thing to do is to hide your feminine side from him. He will orient to women and their feminine side in the same way he orients to his own feminine side... which is quite harsh.

So, the emotional orientation makes a man safe to open up around. But it is his masculine side that creates the attraction. But without both of these things, then it's really a moot point. 

That makes perfect sense, and as a man I can definitely relate to the bit about orienting to the feminine side of both myself and others in a harsh way. I really had to learn how to acknowledge and integrate my own feminine side before I could relate to women in a healthier way (it's still a work-in-progress, mind, and it hasn't been easy).


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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On 7/29/2021 at 9:34 AM, Vzdoh said:

Not sure about other girls, but for me intimacy truly means ability to be vulnerable in all senses in a relationship. If either me or my partner are having issues being vulnerable with each other, I don't feel intimacy and if I don't feel intimacy, I simply don't want the guy sexually. 

For me personally it's weird, because i really can't get excited for guys with whom i have no shared intimacy, no matter how good looking or successful they are! But if there is connection, closeness and intimacy and I feel his masculinity intensely, I turn into a walking sex machine 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂 My desire skyrockets immediately almost and I want the guy every day, several times per day 😜😜😜😜

 

Weird, but that's how my libido works

That sounds healthy to me, not weird at all :) I noticed a pattern with one girlfriend that we'd be emotionally open and vulnerable with each other and then we'd feel very aroused, it seemed odd to me at first (I suspect because I'd unconsciously separated sex from love, which is a bit depressing) but I think it's completely natural for that to happen - you merge at the level of the heart, and then you feel the desire to merge physically.


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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Posted (edited)

Presence, awareness, non-judgmental, (ie open), expressive, honest, authentic. Feeling truly seen, fully appreciated, feeling truly heard. The only way to receive it is to be it. Also helps if there's an intensity or a charge that you don't understand, something so compelling that all doubt or distraction doesn't even register. One thing leads to another and another leads to one thing. By that I mean it's both practiced, cultivated and it's also totally uncaused and spontaneous. 

 

Edited by mandyjw

My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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Posted (edited)

To me  it  means totally  surrendering  myself to someone else and allowing my feelings to be  guided  by  my love. The  most  important  intimacy is emotional.

Edited by Olivia24

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@SamC

Another way to express what I would define as intimacy as per me is this-

Who is strong firm and loving, supportive

Someone who really wants you and is not half hearted about it

Someone who creates trust and respects you deeply 

Someone who genuinely cares

Someone who understands you the way you wish to be understood

Someone who doesn't take you for granted

Someone who treats you right. The way you wish to be treated.

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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Intimacy = “into me see”. Like people said before being able to share things with each other in a safe space, trusting, accepting and loving each other for who they are - you can’t have it with many people that’s why it’s special.

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