Man in an abusive relationship?

[Nahm]

@ivankiss

Agreed, enabling is quite twisted. Leaving like, now, vs mentally backing out of it, getting some ‘space’, untwisting oneself and then addressing it, is really circumstantial. 

[Nahm]

@ivankiss

Amen to that indeed. Reminds me of Esther‘s example with the oxygen mask speech on airplanes. If you put yours on first you both got a chance, if you don’t you’re probably both gonna die. Heavily paraphrasing here. 

[mememe]

@paprika sounds like a female narcissist - and does NOT have much to do with female/male problematics.

in longterm relationships there can be problematics like criticism and problematics like only telling a limited and onesided perspective on the details of the incidents.

however you probably know yourself how much of self is involved or not - it sounds like she at least has a depression. and if i were you and you still want to give the relationship a chance i would not shame her with presupposing any psychological illnesses more than a depression but i would also confidently support her to visit a psychologist and ask myself if its really really just her problematic or are you in anyway involved? i mean in all regards involved or disinvolved? 

i‘m asking because narcissism is a heavy accusation you didn’t make - although it sounds like a heavy psychological issue, maybe one that would dissolve with a therapy or couple therapy or maybe not. doesn’t sound like you tried to find out, yet. the physical part is a bit alarming.

sounds like you might be in a depression aswell.

you guys are married and you lived together longer than you are married - since when is this happening?

Edited July 28, 2021 by mememe

[Mason Riggle]

@ivankiss I'm currently in the position you were in.  It seems impossible.

[mememe]

i can only tell you guys whatever the problematic is - weather its the partners ‚fault‘ or not or leaning to traumata on one side of the relationship - it’s better for the partner, child, parent whoever to also seek therapeutic help. also if its a past traumata.

[Mason Riggle]

@ivankiss thanks for the support!  And I appreciate @Nahms words as well. 

I've left a very similar relationship before. I know that's always an option for me. 

Circumstances are different this time, however. My S/O is a *recovering* addict, and she was sober for the first 6 years of our relationship, but she relapsed and the past year as been a living nightmare. 

[mememe]

@Mason Riggle is this covid related? i heard a lot of shit happens because of the social situations. 

domestic crime rate went up so much, too. 

wish you and her good luck! 

Edited July 29, 2021 by mememe

[Mason Riggle]

@mememe I'm sure it played a role. Relapse rates have skyrocketed since Covid

[Nahm]

@Mason Riggle

Seize the opportunity, take the time. Pour yourself into somethin, transmute a few levels up. Learn something you wanted to learn, sing something you want to sing, create something you’ve been wanting to create, go somewhere you’ve thought about going. Rock the solo. (Not as in leave her, just as in focus, attention & time). That pain is high octane creation. Do you2.0.

[Mason Riggle]

@Nahm excellent advice. 

[Mason Riggle]

45 minutes ago, eaaaeaeae said:

I hope you have a ton of money, cause I heard in america the women takes more than half even if you are the victim. 

Not everything in life is about money.. but don't worry, I have a good lawyer and I know my rights.  I walked away from my first 'toxic relationship' with everything.. the house, the cars, the kids.. and didn't pay a dime to her for Alimony or Child Support. 
 

45 minutes ago, eaaaeaeae said:

Why you even go with that kind of women brothas? 

Excitement, Love, Adventure, Naivety, Attraction, Loneliness, Poor Judgement. a whole host of reasons, I suppose.  Hindsight is 20/20

Edited July 29, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[Mason Riggle]

@eaaaeaeae I'm not sure how 'don't get into relationships' is useful advice for someone already in a relationship.  

Money comes, money goes.  I've had it all, lost it all, and got it all back.. I'm not afraid of divorce.  It's great, actually.  I'm glad it's an option for me. As I said, I have a good lawyer, and I know my rights.  You act as if I'm the only one in my relationship who worked for what I have.  She deserves half of what we both worked to build, even if I'm 'the victim'.  

But I don't see myself as a victim, at least not a victim of 'her behavior'.. I can only be taken advantage of to the degree I allow it.  What am I a victim of? My own inability to create and maintain safe boundaries for myself? At least I can work on that. 

And sure, hormones go on that list as well.  I'll travel back in time now and keep my hormones in check.