Terell Kirby

Going from inauthentic to authentic

9 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Awakening has been a wonderful journey to embark on, and I have so much more work to do. One thing that’s been somewhat daunting is the discovery of inauthentic I’ve lived my life up to this point (I am 30). 

Truth is a scary thing, and realizing it allows you to see your life and the lives of others from an honest lens. Personally, I am realizing my striving for success and comforts have been ultimately rooted in insecurity and certain traumas from childhood. That in which I took so much pride in, is really built on a flimsy house of cards and will never truly make me satisfied. I see this in so many others as well, at least I’m somewhat starting to break out of the matrix...

I can already tell that going from living an inauthentic lifestyle to an authentic lifestyle will require much painful deconstruction, ending of toxic habits and associations, and constant shadow work. For those of you who have gone through this, or currently going through this, I would love to hear your advice.

Edited by Terell Kirby

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Its a long process of finding out what truly you want and wish to be or are...

Everything from how you walk and talk what people you wanna be with...

Like you said the more you deconstruct stuff and the more you come to the source the clearer you will see what you should be doing and who you should become but you can develop it artifically and seeing what you want because at the end of the day you only have yourself and what you wanna be and do is determen only by you and letting others influence that its the worst blockage...

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Nice insights! For me, realizing that everything in relative reality is transient, and inevitably leads to suffering, was the catalytic insight that set me on the spiritual path of integration.

Unfortunately, the insight is only the beginning. It points you in the right direction, but it doesn't magically decondition your mind. There are still attachments and aversions to overcome, many of which have haunted you since childhood. It is unrealistic and self-defeating to expect enlightenment and equanimity to happen, solely by virtue of seeing truly for the first time.

I realized this after awakening. I saw a long, sinuous spiritual path ahead of me. Here's something I wrote back then:

The Bonfire

Consciousness strikes the spark of my undoing,
Catching in the kindling of thought,
Consuming it to soot, intensifying,
Crumbling the timbers that it wrought,
Purifying fire ever rising,
Burning through the ropes of my desire,
Devouring the karma of my making,
Soul wind stirring these flames higher,
Scattering the ashes of my suffering,
No delusion left, only the fire.

Meditation has been my mainstay since then. It has gradually loosened, and in some cases even dissolved, the bonds of my conditioning. Life is much lighter these days. I also find inspiration by contemplating spiritual sources like the Bhagavad Gita and the Dhammapada

Realizing your ultimate nature as Consciousness is profound. This life is a dream, but as long as you are bundled with a human form, there is wisdom in learning to dream lucidly, and enjoying each step of the journey.

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Posted (edited)

2 step inquiry:

1. Am I (negative state)?

Be brutally honest. The answer may be yes or no. Go with what feels right.

2. Am I really (same negative state)?

The answer is always no.

 

If the answer to the first is actually yes but you pretend it to be no (if you think that’s the answer since it’s the real final answer), then the real final answer won’t be revealed. So be brutally honest. The first answer, while unreal, is as absolute as the real one.

Edited by The0Self

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1 hour ago, Moksha said:

Nice insights! For me, realizing that everything in relative reality is transient, and inevitably leads to suffering, was the catalytic insight that set me on the spiritual path of integration.

Unfortunately, the insight is only the beginning. It points you in the right direction, but it doesn't magically decondition your mind. There are still attachments and aversions to overcome, many of which have haunted you since childhood. It is unrealistic and self-defeating to expect enlightenment and equanimity to happen, solely by virtue of seeing truly for the first time.

I realized this after awakening. I saw a long, sinuous spiritual path ahead of me. Here's something I wrote back then:

The Bonfire

Consciousness strikes the spark of my undoing,
Catching in the kindling of thought,
Consuming it to soot, intensifying,
Crumbling the timbers that it wrought,
Purifying fire ever rising,
Burning through the ropes of my desire,
Devouring the karma of my making,
Soul wind stirring these flames higher,
Scattering the ashes of my suffering,
No delusion left, only the fire.

Meditation has been my mainstay since then. It has gradually loosened, and in some cases even dissolved, the bonds of my conditioning. Life is much lighter these days. I also find inspiration by contemplating spiritual sources like the Bhagavad Gita and the Dhammapada

Realizing your ultimate nature as Consciousness is profound. This life is a dream, but as long as you are bundled with a human form, there is wisdom in learning to dream lucidly, and enjoying each step of the journey.

what a gem you are, thanks for sharing x

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Thank you all so much! This is truly insightful. There is so much wisdom to be had after the Great Realization.

But alas, the awakening alone is just the beginning. The real work starts now..

Love you guys.

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30 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

But alas, the awakening alone is just the beginning. The real work starts now..

@Terell Kirby Liberating isn't it.

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