I have my dream girlfriend

[intotheblack]

To love someone is to see them.  To be loved by someone is for them to see you.  
most people are afraid to be seen, so they play ego games and do whatever they can (unconsciously) to avoid it.  But they tell themselves that ‘love doesn’t exist’ as a coping mechanism. (Because that’s easier to believe rather than believing they are the ones blocking the love) 

[Preety_India]

@Girzo yes all good and beautiful things are rare.

 

[intotheblack]

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

But they tell themselves that ‘love doesn’t exist’ as a coping mechanism. (Because that’s easier to believe rather than believing they are the ones blocking the love) 

That's exactly what I wanted to say. It's a denial mechanism.

[Girzo]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

yes all good and beautiful things are rare.

Then won't you agree that your advice to JJ has been misguided as it probably won't happen to him and he has been right to dismiss it?

[Preety_India]

Just now, Girzo said:

Then won't you agree that your advice to JJ has been misguided as it probably won't happen to him and he has been right to dismiss it?

I want him to open his mind and heart to all the Beauty even If it's rare. What's life's worth if you didn't experience the ultimate rare thing before you left the world!

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Preety_India Relationships are mostly survival. Romantic ''love'' does not equal to unconditional love or the recognition of the other as you. 

People go into relationships mostly to play out their unconsciousness and use the other person as an emotional crutch. That's the vast majority of relationships. 

[Preety_India]

@Harlen Kelly like I said it's rare.

Even if it's survival, one can always put in effort to make it healthy long lasting and beautiful without being cynical.

[Harlen Kelly]

@Preety_India You definitely can try but statistically the odds are heavily against you. It is possible to have a conscious relationship, however, that's pretty difficult to orchestrate. 

[Consept]

@Preety_India it's not that 'romantic love' is impossible to get, it just feels like it comes with a lot of preconceived, naive, notions of what love is. What this then turns into is people being unhappy in perfectly good relationships just because it doesn't fit the description of this all encompassing love.

Real relationships should include the good, bad and ugly, that is specifically what love is, acceptance. If you're not able to accept something because it's less than your idea of love then paradoxically it can't be love. 

[Preety_India]

@Consept it can't be love either if you're made to accept something your heart doesn't want to. Home is where the heart is. Understanding this needs deep empathy and an abundance mindset.

 

[kinesin]

3 hours ago, JJfromSwitzerland said:

not to offense you but this sounds like some disney movie bullshit

Do your parents not love each other?  How about your grandparents?  Any uncles and aunts who love each other?

My own parents have true love, they've had it for over 40 years.  The fact that you don't believe it's possible indicates to me that you simply haven't witnessed it anywhere in your own life, and that failure to engage in love is the root of your issue for sure.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, kinesin said:

Do your parents not love each other?  How about your grandparents?  Any uncles and aunts who love each other?

My own parents have true love, they've had it for over 40 years.  The fact that you don't believe it's possible indicates to me that you simply haven't witnessed it anywhere in your own life, and that failure to engage in love is the root of your issue for sure.y

my exact point. I have relationships in my family that have lasted more than 40 years. People believe in their own illusions and call reality Disney when it doesn't fit them..

[Harlen Kelly]

@kinesin You are not understanding, Unconditional love is not romance. Unconditional love can include romance but that is not what constitutes love. 

Something else that needs to be understood is that, you cannot ''receive'' love from somebody else, love is simply the fabric of reality and recognition of the other as you. This can be directly experienced and observed. 

You are confusing attachment with love. 

Edited May 18, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[kinesin]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

People believe in their own illusions and call reality Disney when it doesn't fit them..

Very true.  This kind of thing is unfortunately common, like for example children who grew up in abusive, violent households who believe wholeheartedly that every family is like that behind the scenes.  Imo it's a form of defense mechanism where the person denies reality in order to preserve their own belief that they aren't missing out on anything.

[Consept]

10 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Consept it can't be love either if you're made to accept something your heart doesn't want to. Home is where the heart is. Understanding this needs deep empathy and an abundance mindset.

 

Is this not a contradiction though? How can there be unconditional love without acceptance? 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Consept Acceptance does not mean you tolerate abusive behavior or toxicity, that is just stupidity. 

[Consept]

Just now, Harlen Kelly said:

@Consept Acceptance does not mean you tolerate abusive behavior or toxicity, that is just stupidity. 

Where did I say that? 

[Preety_India]

@Consept your definition of real love is based in scarcity and you try to mask it as accordance. My idea of real love is based in abundance. Acceptance of ugly is being complacent and not abundant. A beautiful relationship has it's own meaning and criteria. It is people who constantly vouch for acceptance of the ugly that need to start accepting the fact that they can't and don't Create Space for the beautiful.

 

[sourcetruth]

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

What you're describing is not true Love but Lust.

Lust always ends in disappointment.

 

True Love is long lasting. And lovers never lose interest. No fantasy.just truth.

You never had emotions to begin with. They were false emotions. Like a false alarm.

True emotions are very strong and don't disappear simply due to time or circumstances.

 

Have you experienced true love before? I'm trying to understand what it is like.