Another from Teal swan - when to be emotional as a man

[intotheblack]

She talks about the confusion men go through with being told he should be vulnerable but then on the other hand that he should be emotionless. 

Edited March 27, 2021 by intotheblack

[flowboy]

I like it!

 

Although I don't personally know any man who worries about when to cry or not to.

Perhaps it's more of an unconscious insecurity then.

Edited April 1, 2021 by flowboy

[intotheblack]

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

 

I like it!

 

Although I don't personally know any man who worries about when to cry or not to.

Perhaps it's more of an unconscious insecurity then

 

Personally I never even thought about it, but it does make sense what she says and thinking back to past situations there is times when this has been the case for me. it’s deffo an unconscious thing.

 

[Bando]

From a guys perspective I always thought this was common sense, its ok to cry sometimes but you can't cry over everything.

[Hulia]

Oh god.... Men, do you really need somone to tell you, when you are allowed to be emotional and when not???? Pussies! ?

[Gesundheit]

54 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Oh god.... Men, do you really need somone to tell you, when you are allowed to be emotional and when not???? Pussies! ?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misandry

"Misandry (/mɪˈsændri/) is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against menor boys in general. Misandry may be manifested in numerous ways, including social exclusion, sexism, hostility, gynocentrism, belittling of men, violence against men, and sexual objectification."

[Hulia]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit said:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misandry

"Misandry (/mɪˈsændri/) is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against menor boys in general. Misandry may be manifested in numerous ways, including social exclusion, sexism, hostility, gynocentrism, belittling of men, violence against men, and sexual objectification."

I don´t know, what menor boy is, but I am not misandrious. On the contrary, I solemnly allow men to be emotional as often as they are emotional  

[intotheblack]

1 hour ago, Hulia said:

Men, do you really need somone to tell you, when you are allowed to be emotional and when not???? Pussies! ?

Yes some do, many had/have no guidance for dealing with emotions etc..  Just like women look for advice, men do too.. No shame in it.  
it’s just one way of looking at the situation, another perspective for understanding the male/female psychology   
I know the name of the video sounds silly, but what she actually talks about is learning attunement which is a trait for divine masculine growth, which a lot of people are interested in.  

Edited April 1, 2021 by intotheblack

[Hulia]

1 hour ago, intotheblack said:

I know the name of the video sounds silly, but what she actually talks about is learning attunement which is a trait for divine masculine growth, which a lot of people are interested in.  

Why are people interested in divine masculine growth? Why are you interested in? 

P.S.: I think, I just cannot stand this woman. So earnest, pathetic and stony.

Edited April 1, 2021 by Hulia

[Hulia]

We are speaking not about crying per se, but about crying on public, or in front of a partner.

(I have no idea, how often men cry or get emotional on private)

What this white swan doesn´t tell you, dear men, is that for women crying in front of partner is not just expressing their emotion. It´s a proven method to get something, they want. Even if it´s unconcious, even if it´s intangible. Like love, attention, caring. 

This method works for women but not for men.

This is the reason why women cry and men don´t.

If a man wants attention and love, the last thing to do is to cry in front of his girl friend. As the swan-lady tells again and again he should give her a feeling of safety. Show her that he has everything under control. Nobody irrespective of gender has everything under control. But he should bear an appearance of having everything under control. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by Hulia

[Gesundheit]

@Hulia I revoke your misandry. But you need to sign a few papers first cuz I see misogyny as an overcorrection 

24 minutes ago, Hulia said:

(I have no idea, how often men cry or get emotional on private)

Everyone is different, and even the same guy can go through difficult times and become more emotional sometimes. So there's no simple answer to that. There have been times where I would cry on a daily basis many times a day. And there have been other times where I would be totally emotionless. Right now I'm closer to emotionlessness. I haven't cried in months. Although I shed a few tears here and there. It depends on what's going on with my life. But generally, I think men don't experience emotions the same way women do. Generally, men are more logical with their emotions. And women are more emotional with their logic.

24 minutes ago, Hulia said:

What this white swan doesn´t tell you, dear men, is that for women crying in front of partner is not just expressing their emotion. It´s a proven method to get something, they want. Even if it´s unconcious, even if it´s intangible. Like love, attention, caring. 

This method works for women but not for men.

This is the reason why women cry and men don´t.

If a man wants attention and love, the last thing to do is to cry in front of his girl friend. As the swan-lady tells again and again he should give her a feeling of safety. Show her that he has everything under control. Nobody irrespective of gender has everything under control. But he should bear an appearance of having everything under control. 

Duh.

Edited April 1, 2021 by Gesundheit

[intotheblack]

46 minutes ago, Hulia said:

women crying in front of partner is not just expressing their emotion. It´s a proven method to get something, they want. Even if it´s unconcious, even if it´s intangible. Like love, attention, caring. 

People cry for all reasons.  Personally I like to cry alone, it’s a stress reliever for me if I’ve been frustrated or sometimes when doing inner work/mediation I get sad and end up crying.  Usually women crying is hormonal, or when they have reached breaking point and feel the world is on top of them.  The only people I ever saw crying just to get attention were kids/teenagers or actual attention seekers.

 

46 minutes ago, Hulia said:

This is the reason why women cry and men don´

Men just aren’t as naturally emotional as women that’s why they don’t do it as much.  
Women’s hormones and moods are changing constantly. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by intotheblack

[Parththakkar12]

I personally have no place in my life for a woman who I can't be vulnerable with. That's the point of having a relationship! Give me one reason to have a relationship or to commit to a woman if I can't even be vulnerable with her.

[intotheblack]

18 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

 

I personally have no place in my life for a woman who I can't be vulnerable with. That's the point of having a relationship! Give me one reason to have a relationship or to commit to a woman if I can't even be vulnerable with her.

 

Did you watch the video? It’s not telling you don’t be vulnerable.

Edited April 1, 2021 by intotheblack

[Parththakkar12]

Just now, intotheblack said:

Did you watch the video? It’s not telling you don’t vulnerable.

It came across as not taking responsibility for the man's vulnerability and making everything only about your own safety and your own perceptions of unsafety. I mean, yeah, sure, I have a drive to protect a woman and stuff, but not at the expense of my vulnerability. This leaves the door wide open for apologism for emotional neglect in the relationship. Very unsafe from the male perspective. I would not touch that relationship with a ten-foot pole.

Also, we're treating this as if it's a choice, like men are asking you 'Should we cry or not?' as if it's a choice that we get to make. It's not. I'm going to let my vulnerability express itself when it needs to. If she feels unsafe, I'm going to next her. If you can't be there with me when I need you to, I have no reason to continue doing this. That would be a very hard deal-breaker for me, inability to integrate my vulnerability in the relationship.

[intotheblack]

@Parththakkar12 hmm ok.

 Well actually, I think this talk is more for attraction phase! I don’t think she’s talking about being in a committed relationship.  Once you are in a relationship it’s different

If you want to attract a girl, if you get too vulnerable In the beginning it can act as a unconscious repellent! And this is what I think the video is more for guys who are having trouble attracting girls, and the confusion around how vulnerable they should be and whether or not that would turn a girl off... and if it’s better to be emotionless instead.  She is saying how it all depends on the context and situation as to whether you’d be seen as weak/needy or strong/vulnerable.
  

[Hulia]

 

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

Everyone is different, and even the same guy can go through difficult times and become more emotional sometimes. So there's no simple answer to that. There have been times where I would cry on a daily basis many times a day. And there have been other times where I would be totally emotionless. Right now I'm closer to emotionlessness. I haven't cried in months. Although I shed a few tears here and there. It depends on what's going on with my life. But generally, I think men don't experience emotions the same way women do. Generally, men are more logical with their emotions. And women are more emotional with their logic.

 

54 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

People cry for all reasons.  Personally I like to cry alone, it’s a stress reliever for me if I’ve been frustrated or sometimes when doing inner work/mediation I get sad and end up crying.  Usually women crying is hormonal, or when they have reached breaking point and feel the world is on top of them.  The only people I ever saw crying just to get attention were kids/teenagers or actual attention seekers.

What I am telling you is that women normally exagerate with crying since men understate crying. Not because of different emotional condition. But because crying might be helpful for women and troublesome for men.

I think, crying alone is natural and more comfortable for all genders. I wonder, if somebody would count all the hours of crying alone for men and women, if there would be a big difference?  

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

I revoke your misandry. But you need to sign a few papers first cuz I see misogyny as an overcorrection 

I am not that unfair, I hate also men I just have my problems with this type of women. But there is also a type of men which I cannot stand:  overconfident, overcool and almost aggressive type in their pursue of domination

[intotheblack]

1 minute ago, Hulia said:

I wonder, if somebody would count all the hours of crying alone for men and women, if there would be a big difference?

Laugh, and the world laughs with you... cry, and you cry alone... 

[Parththakkar12]

19 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

@Parththakkar12 hmm ok.

 Well actually, I think this talk is more for attraction phase! I don’t think she’s talking about being in a committed relationship.  Once you are in a relationship it’s different

If you want to attract a girl, if you get too vulnerable In the beginning it can act as a unconscious repellent! And this is what I think the video is more for guys who are having trouble attracting girls, and the confusion around how vulnerable they should be and whether or not that would turn a girl off... and if it’s better to be emotionless instead.  She is saying how it all depends on the context and situation as to whether you’d be seen as weak/needy or strong/vulnerable.
  

This applies only for me - My decision on whether I'm going to invest my energy sexually pursuing a woman very much depends on me being able to trust her with my vulnerability and me being able to integrate her as part of my life. Anyways, could be different for other guys.

What I think is happening is that she's trying to clarify a sorta mixed-message that women give to men on this issue and what it means. I personally have never been confused about this so I don't relate to being confused about it. But I'm sure it must confuse guys who use vulnerability to attract women! In short, it probably applies to a wider demographic of guys that doesn't include me. I don't relate to receiving a 'mixed message from women' on this issue and being confused by it. Helpful anyways!

Edited April 1, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[Hulia]

31 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

It came across as not taking responsibility for the man's vulnerability and making everything only about your own safety and your own perceptions of unsafety. I mean, yeah, sure, I have a drive to protect a woman and stuff, but not at the expense of my vulnerability. This leaves the door wide open for apologism for emotional neglect in the relationship. Very unsafe from the male perspective. I would not touch that relationship with a ten-foot pole.

Also, we're treating this as if it's a choice, like men are asking you 'Should we cry or not?' as if it's a choice that we get to make. It's not. I'm going to let my vulnerability express itself when it needs to. If she feels unsafe, I'm going to next her. If you can't be there with me when I need you to, I have no reason to continue doing this. That would be a very hard deal-breaker for me, inability to integrate my vulnerability in the relationship.

This is what I call masculinity -  Not restraining the tears, but holding to the thing which you find right without being distracted by some crazy swans