Do Most Women Prefer Men With A Big Ego?

[Lynnel]

On 13/10/2016 at 4:34 AM, Frogfucius said:

I just feel like a steaming pile of dog shit. A failure. I can't maintain what other men can easily. I've tried pickup, I've tried online dating. Nothing has ever worked out. "Action, action, action" just brings me more frustration and doubt.

I have been thinking about why people who had more advantages than I do and been doing some things for a longer time seemed to completely fail for no apparent reason. And after some analysis I understood. They lacked dedication. They were not serious about what they were doing !!

When you say, I've tried pick-up, what does it mean ?

For most guys it means : go out 2 hours a day and talk to maybe 2 girls while drinking and that's it.

For me it meant : go out from 9 pm to midnight and from 9 to maybe 4 am on the weekends, almost every fucking day, and sometimes even 30 days straight, all of this while writing my field reports, watching videos to understand what I did wrong, and on top of that reading self-developpement books to adress inner issues I had, and on top of that working at university and passing all the tests. And also going on dates, parties, and having sex. And of course when out I wouldn't just sit arround - I would seriously "work" and socialize almost all the fucking time. And I've done this for a FULL year. Not a week. A full YEAR, even slightly more

The difference in the mindset is as easy to see as the one in results.

[Pav]

@Emerald Wilkins There's this chapter of a book by Alan Watts that I think you'd be interested in. The chapter is called 'Consummation' in his book 'Nature, Man and Woman'. He talks about sexuality, spirituality, and our relationship to nature. I found it to be incredibly eye opening and by far the truest thing I've read about sex.

[Tron]

On 10/14/2016 at 9:44 AM, Frogfucius said:

 

It just sucks. I don't know what the fuck I want, why I want it, or how to get it. I'm lost.

HA. I am feeling the same way right now. I'm not sure if casual sex or something serious is whats best for me at my point in life. 

But one thing that makes me more at peace with myself than in the past despite being confused about this stuff, is due to the fact that I have worked on my anxieties and self acceptance in regards to women and dating. I may not know what I want right now, but I forced myself to go on so many dates, to interact with so many women, and overall find the self love and confidence in the face of rejection's ugly face. Thats what took me up a level of understanding with all this. 

For awhile I felt as if I couldn't do any of this, but now I feel as if I can. And that brings me so much more overall peace in a place that I was once incredibly insecure. 

Edited October 18, 2016 by Tron

[Epiphany_Inspired]

My response could be based on an underlying neurosis, or this may be a natural personal preference...it is still based on judgemental perceptions I am working to overcome... but I offer it to you regardless (on the off chance it provides some insight into women like me)....

I seem to prefer the "in-between guys" too much confidence is not attractive to me at all, neither is too little...high confidence comes across as "over-confidence", arrogance, belittling, pompous, etc...while under-confidence comes across as meek, desperate, etc...One of the most attractive qualities I have found, in relation to confidence, is: an acknowledgement of their own self-worth/ love, while simultaneously remaining somewhat humble. I have noticed other women with different preferences, some women prefer low-confidence...although there may be neurotic, co-dependant reasons... 

[Frogfucius]

@Epiphany_Inspired Thanks for the insight! Yeah, a lot of what you said makes sense. Maybe it has to do with balance? The more balanced a person is, the more they enjoy balance in the other person? And one polar opposite is attracted to the other, to form a type of balance? Who knows, but it’s exciting to me.

[smd]

Well women have egos, too.  It seems like a one-sided question because you're asking an ego-based female whether she likes men with big egos.  I suppose it matters if the woman is interested in say: big house, big cars, lot's of kids, & bragging rights in her social circle about what her man is and/or what she does.

Leo's mentioned it before: oxytocin.  If you can have sex, it might be enough to create a bond with the woman and then the ego no longer matters.  That bond in a relationship is almost unbreakable.  Only the man in the relationship has the capability of screwing it up or severing it once it has taken hold.  That has been my experience any way.  If women I was dating were flighty or rejected me, it was because we hadn't had sex yet.  They have to give in that first time & for some of us, well it's not easy to accomplish even that.

[avk123]

I see that this thread is going very wide in terms of the information being provided, so I hope we can stay in track here. 

Are women looking for men with big egos?

Any of you have sisters and mothers ? have you tried asking them that question ?

 

 

[Frogfucius]

On 10/25/2016 at 7:14 PM, smd said:

Leo's mentioned it before: oxytocin.  If you can have sex, it might be enough to create a bond with the woman and then the ego no longer matters.  That bond in a relationship is almost unbreakable.  Only the man in the relationship has the capability of screwing it up or severing it once it has taken hold.  That has been my experience any way.  If women I was dating were flighty or rejected me, it was because we hadn't had sex yet.  They have to give in that first time & for some of us, well it's not easy to accomplish even that.

I really don't think it's that simple as chemical reactions to touch. Oxytocin is released by hugging someone (of the same gender, even) or petting a dog. It's a bonding chemical, yes, but not the deciding factor on whether a woman or man is going to stay in love in a relationship or be loyal forever. And blaming men for relationship failures? I don't really think it's that simple. Men and women change over time. Experiences change, tastes change, complacency sets in. That romantic "love" chemical, that was present at the onset, is like a drug that lasts for maybe a year or so. Not everyone that falls in love stay together forever. Human relations are too dynamic to pin it on one thing, I would imagine.