theking00

My mother died

7 posts in this topic

My mother died 2 weeks age. She died because of covid and she had bowel cancer. I am very sad . I am still in shock. How can I move on? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im so sorry to hear that, a massive hit in the heart. The most important thing to do is give yourself space to feel, & talk to those around you, give support to others who have also been affected by her death, listen to them, listen to yourself, allow the grieving but don't let it suck the life out of ya. Sometimes a good distraction is what you need, sometimes one needs to sit and give space. 


The how is what you build, the why is in your heart. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The others had good replies.

I am so sorry as well.  Oh that must be super tough!  It is okay to mourn.  Take all of the time you need.  You will get through it eventually.  You are strong but it is also okay to be weak right now.

Creating new things when you are up for it can help based on whatever creativity means to you.

Sending a virtual hug.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was thinking more about this subject and came up with some more ideas.

There are different ways to think about it.

Non-Duality: There is some happiness about her death, some sadness.  Some loss, some gain.  Some relief, some regret.  Some avoidance, some welcoming.  Some holding on, some letting go.  Some immortality, some temporary.  Some together, some separate.  Some of being her, some of being separate from her.  Some celebration, some non-celebration.  Some acceptance, some fighting.  Some weak, some strong.  Some remember, some forget.  Some love, some hate.  Some hope, some helpless.  Some okay, some not okay.  Some know what to do, some don't know what to do.  Some stop, some go.  Some dead, some alive.  Some existence, some non-existence.  Some keep things the same, some change and create.  Some focused, some scatter-brained.  Some soft and kindness, some harsh and toughness.

When one can come to term that all of these are not one or the other but both at the same time, it may tend be easier.

Ego Development: One may learn to accept that it is okay to utilize, appreciate, and dislike all the ego levels at the same time.  It is okay to set the problem as external, other people's fault, be short-sighted, only consider about the wellbeing of self and self's needs to heal, understand, overcome.  It is okay to set the problem as considering new perspectives, getting more info, increasing the scope of concern beyond self and healing not just you but those around you.  It is okay to find the good in good and bad situations and appreciate each thing and find the beauty in it. 

Spiral Dynamics: It is okay to embody stage purple, red, blue, orange, green, yellow, turquoise.

Whatever helps you on your journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel very sorry for you. It may be extremely inconvenient for you, but I would advise against trying to rush this.

Spend some time each day for remembering moments with you mother.
Feeling depressed, shocked and confused is to be expected. Conflicting emotions may arise, which is a normal part of grieving. 


The true heresy is hearsay.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/31/2020 at 9:20 AM, theking00 said:

My mother died 2 weeks age. She died because of covid and she had bowel cancer. I am very sad . I am still in shock. How can I move on? 

My heart goes out to you.  Just be with the pain and cry all you need.  Its a painful process this type of thing, but normal and natural.  Even animals go through this.  Mourn all you need and one day it will click its time to move on, and perhaps you can live with a greater purpose, perhaps for your mom, or for an understanding you gained in your recognition that life is fragile and momentary.

Much love.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now