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egoeimai

I'm afraid

7 posts in this topic

Hmm. You should never fall in love with the "now or never" mentality, that's the single greatest disaster in life. That particular mentality. 

Everything that happens in life should fall into a beautiful patten and in alignment with your true values 

The whole now or never mentality stems from what I call consumption culture or modern culture. This culture makes you feel like you losing if you're missing out 

Life has to be natural and lived naturally. 

There should never be a compulsion to do or try something because every compulsion comes from egoic needs. 

Deep down it comes from Insecurity, planted by society and this feeling that if you don't you missed out on some imaginary jackpot. 

Reality is harsh and brutal as it is 

You should never fall in love because you never fall in love before. That does look like a great reason for the ego to feel better but it's a poor excuse to the real self. 

This ego is like a false mirror that shows you things that are unimportant. 

Do you want a mirror that only shows the window of your house or do you want a mirror that shows your entire room? 

Your ego takes you away from the real self and it's needs and implants in your psyche false needs that are more relevant socially and is a part of social games. 

This now or never mentality is a part of such social cliché where you're only important if you do it right. 

Such an attitude is bound to get you into a bad relationship just out of desperation or bad reasoning, you end up setting yourself for failure vec you're looking at it in a very superficial way to meet your needs and in the process of doing so completely ignoring your inner needs. 

Instead think that you want a good relationship and think that it will come on its own time. A good relationship is worth the wait. 

What you need is not a relationship per se because then it becomes only a word without real meaning to it. Instead think of the meaning. You want a bond, a companionship, a feeling, an experience to behold, a mutual journey of trust, a peaceful haven, a feeling of comfort and a belongingness. 

This is not the same as wanting a relationship. It's more about wanting something more genuine and aligned to who you are. 

The right mindset here is to think that it doesn't matter whether you got a real boyfriend or not... But what matters is the quality of such a relationship. Allowing yourself to freely enter a relationship where you don't have doubts but feeling more secure. 

You might want to ask this important question to yourself "why I'm saying to myself that this can be risky?" 

If you think that you're taking some sort of risk then it's already a bad sign that there is a little trust and  you're trying to manage this trust or risk level. 

Now if I brought God in front of you and knowing that God loves you, will you ask yourself the same question, will you ask yourself whether you're taking a risk? Because you already know there is no risk with God, since you completely trust God, such questions don't even come to your mind.. That's how a relationship should look like. 

You should automatically feel like you can trust the person so much that you don't see any problem with falling in love 

If you don't feel there is any reason to automatically feel emotionally safe and you're doubting and questioning yourself and a bit confused, you've already creating the stage of failure. 

True loving relationships don't create mental doubts because they are so genuine and beautiful and innocent. You simply give in to such relationships. 

Either be in a relationship where you know that the other person is a 100% trustworthy or simply don't bother to get into relationships. 

It becomes a heart break cycle when you are confused at the first step. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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@egoeimai Don’t be addicted to dumb shit and most of your problems will simply fade away. You don’t realise that you’re positively reinforcing an addiction you didn’t realise you even had, programmed by a screen ? and social networks paid for by news media, film and governmental influences to keep you at a lower state of consciousness.

You... Are already free. 

It feels unnatural to begin with to start reinforcing biochemical feedback loops within yourself that facilitate a higher state of consciousness. But. This. Is. Just. How. It. Is.

You’re not going to fool anyone aware here. You don’t deserve sympathy right now because you’re not showing yourself enough empathy, you’re simply looking for attention. When you begin to show yourself some empathy, then you can begin to act with self respect, an intention that you can incrementally leverage to higher states of awareness. This is when we can begin to truly converse on this thread, until then, you’ll be locked in your addiction to fear. It’s an untold lie, that fear was anything more than this, an evolutionary response (survival purposes serves as necessary) and memories with this kind of cellular information that still need to be transmuted.

Truth. Love. Freedom.

Does this addiction truly serve my transformation towards higher being or does it not? That’s the only relevant question for you on the subject of addiction. 

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On 2020-12-26 at 11:35 PM, egoeimai said:

Never mind. You won't understand. 

 @egoeimai To me it sounds like you're also afraid of being misunderstood aswell, and that's why you edited your post. ( cause you felt hurt and misunderstood by some of the answers). I really get that, some comments where not nice and empathetic at all, I would have been hurt aswell by them.

No one can do or say anything to make you feel less afraid of being hurt, that's the nature of fear. Someone telling you, that you shouldn't be scared won't make you less afraid of being hurt - this will only make you feel even more afraid and misunderstood.

Allow yourself to feel scared - allow yourself to feel your emotions. If you feel resistance towards feeling emotions, feel that. Allow every emotion to exist. A good exercise to practice this is to write down slowly on a piece of paper what you feel. It's super hard, I know - but it will help you alot.

I know I can't understand what you feel or your struggles and I am not saying that in any way.. but I want you to know that I also feel fear of being hurt, misunderstood and left sometimes, so I understand that it sometimes can feel really though to feel those emotions of fear.

Here is a thing that has helped me alot with this fear of being abounded -check it out if you want. You don't have to in anyway - it's an offering, do whatever you want with it. It has changed my life.

Start practicing self compassion, here is a link. The one I am doing everyday is the selfcompassion/loving kindness meditation. The link is down below. All the love.

https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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