Discovering Awesomeness

[Guest EmptyVase]

Truth is Infinite Amusement

 

 

[Guest EmptyVase]

Fear.

 

[Guest EmptyVase]

Funny how psychedelics make you more childlike, yet maturer.

[Guest EmptyVase]

So I have this really weird thing going on when I'm meditating: As I'm residing in being, it feels like I'm reaching the "event horizon". As soon as I come near that, two things happen.

1) I forget everything exponentially.

2) It feels like I'm on the brink of passing out.

Just now I had a meditation, in which my body fell forward. It very much resembles the moment of falling asleep, just while staying conscious. It's definitely not falling asleep because that happened to me too, and it feels different.

A similar thing happens spontaneously sometimes while I'm meditating. There's some energetic activity going on at the medulla. It feels very stimulating and pleasing. As I'm enjoying that, a moment comes, where I feel like I get sucked through and out of the medulla into I don't know what. Same feeling of forgetting and passing out occurs. It also feels like falling.

But just before I'm completely gone, my ego extends its claws and holds on to its existence. I could never break through that "invisible barrier". I think this is just a matter of letting go in order to "reach the other side". I'm really curious what lies "behind the free fall" (as it feels like falling into infinite nothing).

If anyone happens to read this who has had similar experiences, I'd be interested to hear your observations.

[Guest EmptyVase]

"Ultimately, life is neither suffering nor bliss. It is what you make it."

- Sadhguru

[Guest EmptyVase]

“I don’t care how spiritual you are. How long you can melt in the sweat lodge. How many peyote journeys that have blown your mind, or how well you can hold crow pose. Honestly. I don’t. I don’t care what planets fall in what houses on your birth chart, how many crystals you have or how vegan your diet is.

I want to know how human you are. Can you sit at the feet of the dying despite the discomfort? Can you be with your grief, or mine, without trying to advise, fix or maintain it? I want to know that you can show up at the table no matter how shiny, chakra- aligned or complete you are- or not. Can you hold loving space for your beloved in the depths of your own healing without trying to be big?

It doesn’t flatter me how many online healing trainings you have, that you live in the desert or in a log cabin, or that you’ve mastered the art of tantra.

What turns me on is busy hands. Planting roots. That despite how tired you are, you make that phone call, you board that plane, you love your children, you feed your family.

I have no interest in how well you can ascend to 5D, astral travel or have out of body sex. I want to see how beautifully you integrate into ordinary reality with your unique magic, how you find beauty and gratitude in what’s surrounding you, and how present you can be in your relationships.

I want to know that you can show up and do the hard and holy things on this gorgeously messy Earth. I want to see that you can be sincere, grounded and compassionate as equally as you are empowered, fiery and magnetic. I want to know that even during your achievements, you can step back and be humble enough to still be a student.

What’s beautiful and sexy and authentic is how well you can continue to celebrate others no matter how advanced you’ve become. What’s truly flattering is how much you can give despite how full you’ve made yourself. What’s honestly valuable is how better of a human you can be, in a world that is high off of spiritual materialism and jumping the next escape goat for “freedom.”

At the end of the day I don’t care how brave you are. How productive, how popular, how enlightened you are. At the end of the day, I want to know that you were kind. That you were real. I want to know that you can step down from the pedestal from time to time to kiss the earth and let your hair get dirty and your feet get muddy, and join the dance with us all.”

- Taylor Rose Godfrey

(*though all of the above mentioned stuff is still cool and worth exploring )

 

[Guest EmptyVase]

"When there is no resistance, sorrow loses its sting. But to accept sorrow, or to worship it or explain it away, is never to come into direct contact with it."

- Krishnamurti

[Guest EmptyVase]

Saw this comment by Nahm:

"What else has the property of being aware? The tree? The bird? Nahm? The sky? Of course not! Only awareness is aware!"

Got me thinking.. are thoughts aware of themselves? Are thoughts aware of thoughts? So strange loopy, so trippy. Oh, this is going to be fun.

[Guest EmptyVase]

When thoughts about a thinker arise, where do they point to?

Is there a thinker behind these thoughts? Or do thoughts appear, and the thinker is being assumed (with further thoughts)?

If the thinker is an assumption, then who is thinking this right now? Is the thinker aware of itself? Or does the thinker think that it is aware of itself?

Can thoughts be aware of awareness?

Can thoughts be aware of themselves? Or is it only a thought that thoughts are aware of themselves? If a thought is aware of itself, what is aware of the thought that the thought is aware of itself?

Can anything be found here? Or would a finding be just another thought?

[Guest EmptyVase]

Welcoming the Snake / Who is thinking?

So, a few things have been happening these last couple of days. I want to get into two of them.

One of them being two experiences I had on weed. I took a break from cannabis since January because it didn’t really do me well at that time. Since the last six months, I only smoked it occasionally when I was around other people, but I didn’t wanna do it by myself anymore. But a few weeks ago I got my hands on some weed again and had pretty interesting experiences with it a couple of days ago.

After having smoked a joint, I sat on my meditation cushion and just let the weed do its thing. Energetic phenomena (like always) happened. I once fell into the ‘trap’ of thinking that these phenomena are meaningful, which let to me clinging to them to a certain extent.

This time it was different though. Besides the usual energetic phenomena, I felt extremely strong energy in the area between the perineum and the belly. It was so strong that the analogy of a snake wandering through the spine made sense. Actually, it was so intense to the point were it felt like it was burning me from the inside. At one point it felt a bit overwhelming, but I surrendered to the experience and invited the love in. The first time “the snake” crawled up, it made its way to the heart chakra, where it exploded into an ecstatic feeling. The second time it crawled up, from the lower three chakras to the higher ones, it “got stuck” at the throat level, and worked out, whatever it had to work out. This made my head move on its own, gently swaying from one side to the other. As the energetic phenomena receded, my body “cooled down” and I was casually sitting there like I always do – sitting in peace. I felt heat, even burns with energy. But this was the first time it actually felt really physical and even slightly painful. The term painful colors the experience with a negative light, but that was certainly not the case. The analogy of a mother giving birth comes to mind. Painful, yes, but beautiful.

The other thing that happened was that I became aware of the strange-loopiness of thoughts, and that you can’t really tell (through thoughts) whether thoughts can be aware of themselves. Thoughts could say “Yes, we are aware of ourselves!”.. but that’s a thought too, and this goes into infinity.

At one point I asked myself: To whom are these thoughts pointing to? I’ll need to inquire this deeper when the headspace is a little bit clearer after my exams.. but up to this point, I couldn’t find a person to whom these thoughts are pointing to. The thoughts are just appearing, and it would be an assumption, which is left unchecked, to say that there is a concrete person “behind the thoughts” or a person who is having thoughts. Or for that matter, to say that there is a thinker of thoughts. Thoughts appear? Yes, pretty sure. Is there a thinker? Not so sure.

[Nahm]

@EmptyVase

Awesome. Have a video recorded ‘in the hopper’ that touches on this.  

[Guest EmptyVase]

@Nahm

Cool! I'm excited for it. Btw, loved the Reiki talk in your latest video. 

[Nahm]

@EmptyVase ?? ?? 

[Guest EmptyVase]

Create, and see which emotions await! 

[Guest EmptyVase]

As I've gone through lots and lots of emotional healing, and felt increasingly better, I've hit a plateau. Everything is going fine and so many emotions are healed, but there's still something, which did not feel quite right. I couldn't quite put my finger on it until today. This might unravel further, but here are my insights for now:

There's neither within nor without. I thought that seeking happiness externally will fulfill me. After realizing that this isn't the case, I thought that happiness is something which comes from within - also false. The belief that happiness comes from within made me increasingly more frustrated.

Happiness is that there is neither within nor without - there is only the moment. This moment right now is freedom. This moment is the very happiness we are looking for. Within or without are both just ideas. Now is actual. I am not separate from the outside nor the inside. The moment is the point of being alive. Live for the moment.

Though my insights are probably still rather shallow, recognizing this gave me a sense of relief. I trust that this sense of relief and these insights are what I'm looking for, when I'm looking for happiness.

[Guest EmptyVase]

Vibrational Vortex

There's this knowing, that certain things will happen. It is prior to thinking, but it also manifests as thoughts such as: "I will pass this exam." or "I will get this job." or "I will meet someone special."

These events do not manifest physically first, but vibrationally. It can clearly be felt. I don't really know how to describe that feeling other than that you know that it will be happening (one could also say that you're fully convinced that it will be happening). And that is proof enough in order to know that it will happen. Physical proof, such as the physical manifestation of the vibrational thought, is not needed anymore, to know that it will be happening. There's just no doubt that it will not happen once it is felt. It's sorta like the counter-part to not-knowing.

Is that what the Law of Attraction is pointing to? If so, could you perhaps expand a little on your own experiences with this?  @Nahm

 

*EDIT: One also speaks and behaves accordingly. So you don't even say to yourself: "I will pass this exam." That's what you'd maybe say to others. But for you, it's more like: "I already passed this exam."

Edited August 5, 2021 by EmptyVase

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

Is that what the Law of Attraction is pointing to? If so, could you perhaps expand a little on your own experiences with this?

Indeed  . Loa, and some momentum goin. With loa down, the rest of the immutable laws sort of fill in around it. As far as my own experiences, I keep writing what I want on the board, reality keeps unfolding as it. Even a couple years ago, I would not believe where I am sitting and what I am experiencing right now. And that knowing-feeling you mentioned is that this will continue for quite some time. 

[Guest EmptyVase]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

Loa, and some momentum goin.

Oh for sure.

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

With loa down, the rest of the immutable laws sort of fill in around it.

Had glimpses here and there into a few other laws, but there's still a lot to be seen. So excited for them, especially the Law of Oneness. ?

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

As far as my own experiences, I keep writing what I want on the board, reality keeps unfolding as it. Even a couple years ago, I would not believe where I am sitting and what I am experiencing right now.

I'm pretty surprised by how well the dreamboard is working. But I've also had a few things which did not come to fruition. I tie it to feeling, because if there's even a little bit of resistance while writing it on the board, you just don't feel like actualizing it for yourself.

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

And that knowing-feeling you mentioned is that this will continue for quite some time. 

That's pretty cool, but how come it's "just" for 'quite some time'? Why not for the rest of my life, once I tap into it?

Thanks for the answer, as always much appreciated.

[Nahm]

 

2 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

I'm pretty surprised by how well the dreamboard is working. But I've also had a few things which did not come to fruition. I tie it to feeling, because if there's even a little bit of resistance while writing it on the board, you just don't feel like actualizing it for yourself.

I don’t know what’s meant by actualizing it for yourself. 

2 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

That's pretty cool, but how come it's "just" for 'quite some time'? Why not for the rest of my life, once I tap into it?

Because experience greater & more expansive, such that it is presently unthinkable, is next. 

[Guest EmptyVase]

12 hours ago, Nahm said:

I don’t know what’s meant by actualizing it for yourself. 

Tbh even I don't know why I formulated it like this. Lol.

Let me put it this way. There's an initial inspiration to write something on the dreamboard. With time, the inspiration starts to lose momentum, even though you're working on the thing you wrote on the board. You don't feel like realizing it anymore, even though you could.

Either you wrote it on the dreamboard with some feelings of resistance (for example background thoughts like "not sure if this is going to work" or something like that) or it loses momentum because of some unforeseen situations (for example it's not possible to realize it the way you wanted to, so you quit).

Oh. While writing this, I've noticed that these two possible scenarios (the either-or paragraph above) are probably not separate from one another.

12 hours ago, Nahm said:

Because experience greater & more expansive, such that it is presently unthinkable, is next. 

I can live with that.