I Don't Know What To Do Next...

[Ali Bakali]

Hello , My Name Is Ali , i'm 17 years old , And My Name Is An Arabic Name if you are asking.

Anyways i'm gonna get right through it ,I've been watching actualized.org for the last 2 years , i watched all his videos about metaphysics, i'm a nerd when it comes to understanding the nature of god and reality , but when it comes to my practical side of life it's pretty shit and it gets me depressed and lost.

I live in Morocco which is a stage red/blue country , the school system here is bad like really really bad , i feel no spirit whatsoever it feels mechanical and spiritless , the environment i live in is not that supportive at all , my mom seems to not care about me or giving a shit about me because...well , she found out i'm not a muslim , and she's very religious, so she's always giving me shit , it makes me depressed which in turn affects my grades at school , and i lost my passion about it if i'm gonna be honest , i used to get really high grades but now i declined so much in the last year or so , and i got bad grades that's not gonna get me to a respectable college , it made it worse for me, i lost my sense of purpose and now i'm working my ass off to get enough money to buy the life purpose course , i'm really good at abstract thinking and i always think about what can i create that can maximize love and freedom for everyone , but for the last year i lost all my motivation in the practical side of life , i'm still interested in Truth , but it seems like i can't master my survival wich in turns affects everything , if anyone has gone through similar difficulties in need to hear their opinions on my situation and their thoughts and what can i do?? I started contemplating what i really want in life but because of the negativity that surrounds me i'm getting nowhere and i'm always projecting my own fears in my questioning of reality , i know i didn't need to write all of this but i feel like it's been suppressed for so long and i don't know what to do , i still have a litlle bit of hope , but it's fading away , i need guidance.

 

Much love and respect ❤

[aurum]

@Ali Bakali

Do you have a spiritual practice like meditation or yoga?

Edited November 5, 2020 by aurum

[Ali Bakali]

@aurum

I started doing meditation just a week ago, and it's kinda hard , I'm procrastinating a lot.

[aurum]

14 minutes ago, Ali Bakali said:

@aurum

I started doing meditation just a week ago, and it's kinda hard , I'm procrastinating a lot.

I understand, it is hard. You certainly don't have to do it.

I'm suggesting this because from what you've said, your environment sounds highly toxic. And so it's going to be very difficult to recognize the guidance that is coming from Spirit.

So first things first, unplug from all that.

Take a couple minutes every day to tune out all that toxic energy and tune into yourself.

The good news is you're really young. If you start building this habit now, you'll see crazy gains over the years.

[Ali Bakali]

@aurum  yeah i get your point , i tell myself that too , but like you said ,my environment is really toxic like even at home , but thanka for the advice , will sure try my best.

[Barbara]

Hey Ali, there's a lot of areas in your life, you see. You have the school, maybe a career that you would like to pursue, your family, personal development, health and maybe fitness, friends, free time, and hobbies. Isolate each one and write a little bit about what would be the ideal situation in each area. 
Just start simple. With love 

[Loving Radiance]

@Ali Bakali Have you meditated at least once? If yes, how did you feel afterwards? If that feeling was positive, then focus on that positive feeling and be inspired to feel that feeling more often.

Are you structured? Maybe pick up a planning habit, to plan out the next day beginning with what you want to do from the morning till evening. Feel into your intuition and feel what you love most. Put aside a fixed time of the day to just do what you love most, something that "brings you home". I have 2 hours set aside in the morning and I even get up earlier for that. These things create good feelings for the rest of the day and they ground you when you are enmeshed in the daily drama.

[Toimur H]

@Ali Bakali

Hey, Ali

Do you believe the universe can repeat itself? I didn’t, but now I somewhat do. Because you are describing the exact same situation I am going through(!). You know what’s more amazing? We are in exact same age(!) Isn’t that cool?

Anyway, I’ll tell you more about myself & other cool stuffs in massage. Now, without further ado, here are my suggestions to you.

 

#1. Understand that structure determines behavior.

The primary goal of yours should be right now to work toward exiting the structure you are currently living in.

You have to work towards it. Because you can’t just instantly exit the negative/ unsupportive environment you are facing right now. You can’t just decide to leave the country, move far away from your mom, dad, and the fucked up school system, leave the whole RED/BLUE society and never look back again, can you?

No.

Why? Because you are too dependent on it & on them. 

[Ask yourself: What is holding me back when I try to leave this negative environment and start a new life on a developed country? ]

 

Right now, structurally you are in a position where you cannot choose to live on your own. You are dependent on your parents to provide you food,  your clothes, educational expenses, internet bills, emotional supports too maybe. You cannot cook your own food, buy your own clothes and do everything on your own;

You cannot leave your country because you (most likely) don’t have any money/ skills to provide value to the society, you might not know the language of the new country as well. I don’t know your full life story; it could be different than what I wrote here. But the point here is - For a number of reasons, you are dependent & you are stuck where you are.

And the first thing, before doing any higher consciousness work with your life is - you have to unstuck yourself. Means, you have to move/ create a more supportive structure for yourself.

How?

First, decide what holds you back the most, where you are most vulnerable & work towards setting yourself free on that area. Then you can choose to move in a more supportive environment/ structure without any constraints from your part. The point here is to become self dependent.

Most likely, what holds you back, is your dependency on money. Now, I’m not gonna go into the details of how you can solve your money situation here. We might discuss that later, if you are interested on that.

There are many ways by which we can become independent on any areas of our life. Research on the internet and tell me what you think about it.

Additional resources: Watch Leo’s video on the topic. In order to learn more about making structural change check out Robert Fritz’s “The Path Of Least Resistance”.

 

#2. STOP ASKING FOR HELP.

Stop saying - “I don’t know what to do”. It puts you into a victim role. When you ask people to show you the way, you are automatically taking the victim position. You are saying that you are helpless and you need other people to come to you and pull you up.

The problem with that is you are now dependent on other people’s willingness to help you. If you want to know something, ask & post interesting questions on the forum. People will answer you. But do not show yourself as though you are a complete victim of your circumstances. Because you are not. And because - acting that way tricks your subconscious to actually believe that is true.

Let me be straight here, no one is going to push you when reality gets hard. When you feel like shit, no forum member is going to come to your door and forcefully tell you to work on your life, neither will he change your mom’s attitude about religion, or give you a nice business idea one day to work on. Stop Fantasizing. & Face Reality. Nobody is going to solve your problems for you. Neither the problems are going to be solved magically by itself. If it happens, it has to happen by you. No one is coming.

Reality is hard. So start facing it. Rather than hoping that someone might solve your problem for you, find out the people, books, & necessary resources & get yourself out of the situation.

 

This is a very basic principle of self-help – taking 100% responsibility VS acting like a victim.

For now, I want you to identify the areas of your life where you are acting like a victim (and there are many). Write them down on your journal (I hope you have one). Then gradually move toward a more “100% responsible” mindset.

[Although, expressing suppressed emotions and thoughts are completely okay, I think you should do that more often. Just do not give yourself the excuse that you don’t know what to do because nobody replied any interesting idea on your thread.]

 

#3. Figure out the rules of life.

Rules, strategies, and procedures – are a particular way of doing things that govern success in a certain environment. Find them out. Observe them working in your life.

Find out the people who were in similar situation and what they did to break free. Then do the same. Figure out their psychology. What they did differently, what drove them, what motivated them to move forward. Then master your internal resources/ psychology accordingly. 

Read books.

Also understand social/ power dynamics.

It looks kinda nasty studying “How power works” from a stage green point of view. But you must have to admit that you are in a stage red/blue reality. You have to study them to get out of the social structure & to get in a more supportive one.

So, read about power. Especially, Van Fleet & Robert Greene’s books are particularly very insightful. I am currently reading the “50th Law”. It will work for you too.

#4. And lastly, don’t lose hope.

No matter how impossible it feels about breaking free, always assume it’s possible. And it is possible. I personally don’t know what you are going through, but I believe there are many people who survived much harsher reality than that.

I understand how hard it is, (and how damaging it feels, it feels like dying from the inside) to keep trying to work toward something you believe in, while the destructive/ dysfunctional structure pulls you back with it’s full force. In this structure, your mom, dad, friends, and everybody else in the society will constantly try to discourage you for doing what you really should do, for following your heart’s desire. You can’t really change/ persuade them, it’s just how the whole thing is designed. Feeling hopeless and lost is very easy. I completely understand that. I’ve been through that many many times.

You won’t find anyone around you to relate to. Everybody else is chasing stupid stuffs. They will never understand who you are & what you are doing, therefore they will try to discourage you. Our human brain is not designed to work that way. It will seek reward for what it does. If it gets only pain & discouragement over and over again for doing something, eventually it will give it up and will look for something easy to do.

Try to find mentor & friends who thinks like you. Physical is better, but online friends & mentors will work too. They will give you hope and inspiration to go through difficult times, & positive feedback for keeping up the good work.

 

Don’t lose faith; we can make it work together.

 

Love,

Toimur Hasan

Edited November 6, 2020 by Toimur H

[AdamDiC]

Could you find a way to study abroad? I know school isn't your passion but it may be a good way to get some freedom. But ultimately, that won't get you where you want.

You really have to start seeing yourself as a Hero going on a journey. Yes life is hard. Yes it seems like your stuck and you can't do anything. But you CAN. Just dig deep and start seeing yourself as the main character in your movie. You can't change your environment but you can change yourself. Fight for your life, for your highest potential. You deserve it.

Start visioning. Start dreaming. Master something so you can earn an income. These are long-term goals but they pay off.

[Ali Bakali]

Thank for the feedback guys ! 

Especially @Toimur H

that was very eye opening ! Sometimes god needs to look for itself and itself tells itself to look into itself because there is only itself ! ?

I Sure Will Do My Best To Keep Going Forward And Self-Actualize + Self-Transcend.

Thanks For Taking Your Time To Write All Of This I Really Appreciate It , Much Love !

[Superfluo]

@Toimur H Sir, I have to say that this is a wonderfully written advice. Nicely schematized and incisive but still vastly enough encompassing.

[Waken]

You might want to check out Bashar's ramble (on youtube for example) on following your highest excitement. Here a pdf version: https://bashar.org/handouts/TheFormula.pdf