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Moreira

I cannot fake enthusiasm

11 posts in this topic

I dont need friends, but I keep them to have somebody to count on in the future, and for peer pressure.

The thing is when its their birthday and I have to call them, I feel lots of resistance, and I cannot fake that I feel happy for them because I'm not.

But in the other hand, I dont want to make them feel bad for me. If I call them with apathetic behaviour Ill make them feel bad.

Should I practise public speaking or theater lessons to talk emotionally whenever i dont feel it?

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Upgrade your friends so you do feel excited to talk to them.

Sounds like you don't have much in common with them or for whatever reason, if you don't feel like being friends with them, then just cut them out of your life.

Don't be fake just out of courtesy or to keep them around just in case you need them in the future, that's draining AF. 

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How old are you?

Wishing someone a happy birthday doesnt have to be enthusiastic, just wish them a happy birthday ask how their day is going and be done with it. If you dont want to call then dont call them. Easy as that.

I have a feeling that there is a more important problem. Seems like you have no interest in your friends or maybe you are not in touch with your emotions.

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Do you consider your friends real friends? Can you count on them? Can you open up and be sensitive and honest with them?

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1 hour ago, universe said:

How old are you?

Wishing someone a happy birthday doesnt have to be enthusiastic, just wish them a happy birthday ask how their day is going and be done with it. If you dont want to call then dont call them. Easy as that.

I have a feeling that there is a more important problem. Seems like you have no interest in your friends or maybe you are not in touch with your emotions.

I dont believe in frenship because there's always a interest behind, its not like unconditional love. I'm personal trainer and whenever a friend want to get in shape he resume the friendship with me. And me as an introvert, when I feel I have to socialize a bit I contact them to get my social dose.

But when I go deeper into self actualization and meta knowledge or interesting wisdom I lose interest in plain people who talk about this videogame or netflix show.

And I've tried to have interesting conversations with them but they arent ready to understand what i talk. So I prefer learning in solitude than wasting time in petty stuff.

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1 hour ago, Moreira said:

I dont believe in frenship because there's always a interest behind

Yeah those I would not consider to be friendships either. Could you be open to the possibility to have real friends?

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Not believing in friendship is a limiting belief in my opinion.

There are AMAZING people out there who will be your friends without wanting anything in return.

You just gotta find them.

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So what would you like in a real friend, what is it, that a real friend wants in you?

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20 hours ago, Moreira said:

I dont need friends, but I keep them to have somebody to count on in the future, and for peer pressure.

Uh, so you mean you DO need friends? It’s all tied to your fear of aloneness.

You don’t have to be enthusiastic

If you got nothing else to tell them, send them a simple text. 

But of course the truth is probably that you don’t care about birthdays.

So this is of course a spiritual issue.

Cutting out all forced fakery is hard (core)

It is one of the biggest challenges of the spiritual path. If you dropped your pretenses what would be the consequences?

Freedom comes at a price


https://youtu.be/Ts_WDlgNMoo

^ Die before you die

 

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Does this only happen with friends or donyou generally feel apathetic in relationships with other people.

If I were you, I would examine past experiences and see if it's always been like that or if that enthusiasm and interes was "lost" at some point.

In my case, I was a very social and empathic kid and since my teens my default mode is to dissociate and distract from my emotions so it becomes difficult to do things like the ones you mentioned without feeling like I'm faking it. 

Maybe you got hurt emotionally and protected yourself by shutting down the part of you that feels enthusiasm, etc. This can be due to a specific event or to multiple smaller incidents where you felt like it was more safe to disconnect from your emotions. 

Of course this is just a theory based on my own experience and that's why you'll have to see if it's similar in your case or not.

Hope this helps!

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I wouldn't bother keeping friendships that are not real. If i don't like someone i cut them out of my life and that saves me energy and time. I prefer to have 1 or 2 close friends with a better relationship than to play it social because i'm afraid to be alone. Maybe you haven't found someone with some common ground to be able to connect. 

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