Insightful27

Dating a Christan Girl

11 posts in this topic

I'm in an 8+ month relationship with a girl who takes her beliefs after her parents. She is open-minded and wouldn't be put off by the idea that enlightenment and self-actualization are true. However, she still believes more in Jesus saving her and "God" having a laid out life plan for her rather than meditation, ego, psychology and things like that. I'm beginning to see the dating pool of self-actualized and truly spiritual people is very shallow. Is there anyone who would have advice on how to handle this? Or who is currently in a serious relationship with a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist etc. Will, I just need to be prepared to not marry a self-actualized person?

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Christianity is in itself a path to enlightenment, it's not necessarily a problem or a handicap although it might seem to be for most, it has nothing to do with the religion itself. Most relationships don't match up in the level of spiritual development, but since spiritual development is all a facade anyway, it doesn't matter. The beliefs we have about other people are what keep us from our own development. There is love and connection within us always, we don't need prerequisites for it. 

I was raised Christian and I remember a lot of discussions about whether you should date someone who is unsaved. Saying that you shouldn't felt wrong. Thinking MAYBE you can save (change) them by dating them felt a little better but also wrong. It strikes me as funny that this same exact question at its root is asked just as often by those seeking enlightenment. In the area of who we should date and marry, we want pure unconditional love and yet we allow ourselves to make our most harshest judgements in this area, and that's what makes romantic love so damn challenging. We often hold from ourselves what we want most in this area. But because we blame the other person, we don't see that we do this only to ourselves. 

I'd try to show her how Christianity is pointing to nonduality, ask if she really understands the meanings of the parables of Jesus. Read the gospel of Thomas, read what Eckhart Tolle has written about Christianity, study Gnostic Christianity and you'll be able to speak to her with her language she was raised with and you'll not come away unchanged yourself. I'd do this only if it seems fun, and not if it feels like you're doing it just for an end goal and have an agenda. The best relationships are curious and seek to learn, understand and fully experience one another, they are open and loving. Open-mindedness is curiosity and love itself, but... you're the only one who can experience having an open mind. When it is imposed as an ideal on another it immediately becomes closed mindedness. 

Edited by mandyjw

My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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3 hours ago, Nahm said:

What’s the ‘problem’?  Is this difference arising in a way as problematic? For you? For her? As a couple? 

No, not at all. Christianity isn't "a problem" it's more the dogma that comes with having parents shove their belives down her throat. And right now it isn't a problem at all. I was thinking about our future and other relationships. Because being a couple can be hard when you have different world views.

Edited by Insightful27

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@mandyjw  that is really insightful. I have only briefly touched on using Christianity and other religions as ways to become enlightened. And i definitely agree that it seems as though its a handicap for many people.

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@mandyjw Yes exactly, Christianity itself is meant to point to spirituality so you could try and point it out to her using literature from the book.

Edited by Osaid

You are what you currently desire. ❤️

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@Insightful27

I see what you mean. Yes, it certainly can be. However, I think it’s best to wait till it arises, if it does, and ask...”for who” ?

If it’s a problem, for you...you’ve got a little inspection work to do. A belief is “givin you some trouble”.  If it’s a problem for your so...they have a little inspection work to do. Together, the differences in world view, religion, dogma, etc - if you take the individuated approach - the togetherness, is potentially richer, deeper, more fulfilling and rewarding. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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11 hours ago, Insightful27 said:

Is there anyone who would have advice on how to handle this? Or who is currently in a serious relationship with a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist etc. Will, I just need to be prepared to not marry a self-actualized person?

It just depends on where you're looking. If you being too vague and just going on tinder or going to bars, on average you're going to run into mainstream kind of girls that reflect the kind of society you're in. If you're in a Western nation that's going to be mostly Stage Blue-Orange people who are focused on shallow materialism and success.

If you want to kind more advanced people you need to go look in the places that have them;

- Volunteering as a lot of Stage Green women that are humanistic and care about others/society

- Gardening stores, Tree planting events, spirituality stores

- Libraries

I'll let you brainstorm the rest.

Overall if you're happy and support each other, what's the problem? If you feel like you need them to have the same worldview and think like you, well. You aren't being very spiritual or open and a lot more consumed by ego than you think you are.

Edited by Roy

hrhrhtewgfegege

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don't try to categorize and label people as self-actualized and not self-actualized!

think of it like in terms of vibration, does she give off the same vibe as you do?

but as a matter of fact, If I'd talk about the difference of opinion, I should say that's a big deal!

even a couple who are in the same wavelength could have potentially some problems in relationship, let alone persons who have a big belief gap between themselves!

and remember there are some people out there who wanna convey the whole meaning of so-called new age spirituality to religious minded persons, but I always say, dude that won't work!! they as different as cheese and chalk and you won't be able to get along together!

Edited by hamedsf

"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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I think you can date with any girl you like! It is much more important thing than nationality or other. By the way if you interested in sites for local hookup I can recommend to try Pure app, this service is really very interesting:) You can find partner for you quite fast. Good luck!

Edited by Onfeetable

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