How to communicate with people below or above the spiral?

9 posts in this topic

If you do this work, I suppose you will likely be more conscious than the average people around you.

I have this problem of communicating with people below my stage (blue,orange) ,I don't know if I should even talk to them at all, if I do I will likely talk less or I would have to "downgrade" myself to joke around and talk about the things that interests them. If I do meet someone that is even open minded, (which is few) it creates a sense of respect for me to them which I do treasure very much but this almost never happens at all.

I have never personally met people who were on higher stages before,so I'm not sure how that will go.

This makes me mostly isolated from my piers,i don't mind the loneliness that is there because it is essential to this work but I would also like to interact with people once in awhile.

Is there any tips on interacting with people below or above your spiral dynamics stage without being neurotic and fake?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

You have to be authentic, you do not need to adjust yourself to match other people's interests. That way, you will know exactly which people are your people. I find that if I fake interest in trivial gossips that many people engage in, I find they will think I actually like it and give me more of that. If I express interest in exactly what I am actually interested in, those who aren't interested in those same things, will automatically fall away or drift away. And the ones who have similar interests are drawn to me.

Example: You do not need to discuss TV shows if you don't like to. Let others know that you do not watch TV because it doesn't interest you. They might ask what you do in your free time. You can then share your personal development or spiritual practices. It might even interest them on this path. Or they might call you boring and ignore you. That way, you do not need to calculate on which level of spiral dynamics they are or how much conscious or less conscious they are. If communication is a two-way street, half the road, is yours. You keep walking in yours. That's the only thing you can do. 

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm no Leo, but I believe it helps in thinking of everyone as one single entity. Once you start practicing the higher stages, you'll very soon realize that the game of demonizing others for their beliefs is actually just hurting your spiral. 

A hack to tackle this problem I think is realizing, every human has all the stages innately in them. It's just because of your practice in the higher stages that you are able to see the bigger picture and other's who have not can not. What do we do about this? We definitely don't want to start degrading others that will just pull your energy down. 'Faking it' might not be a good idea too. The obvious solution here is, as soon as I think I've recognize which stage of the spiral they are at, I put on that same stage 'hat'. If you really are an expert, this shouldn't be a difficult thing to do. For instance, I am speaking with a friend of mine who is stage blue; ever if its someone I'm meeting for the first time, I will sort of have an expectation of what this stage person will and will not appreciate. Doing this helps in integrating into the situation. YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE YOUR HIGH STAGE VALUES WITH YOU. I don't mean to say you put yourself down and start acting disrespectfully to your higher self lol. It is important to remember you are still going to have to live with yourself, all self. So, when I put on this blue 'hat' I try situating myself as a equal to the person I am interacting with. I joke about things in this stage. I try not getting the person mad by talking about other stage issues. Because if you're your an individual from the early stages, your ego is pretty set in stone and I won't need more than a sentence to piss them off. This way you are giving a good time to the person interacting with you while you practice your communication skills. Hope this helps :)  

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

You have to realized everyone is on some type of journey and everyone has a different perspective of the universe. If you believe the people around need to develop to the higher stages then it is your job to maybe try and bring a different perspective to the environment. Some might not be ready for that then again you might be in position to help some one growth or at least point them in the right direction. I work with a lot of people and if your not careful you will begin to develop their mindset just by interacting with them on a daily basis. I always try to speak on something different most of the time I get a funny look from the person but hey at least they know there is another side of the coin from my perspective.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't get why it's a problem for you (not ment as judgement). Are you having judgements about them or is it something else? I must say for myself I don't like to much contact with others who are very differently orientated. Like someone who is very materialistic, I can be nice to them and chat with them for a while, but I rather be alone and don't feel a need to deepen the contact there.
You say you like to have contact once in a while and not be alone always. Yea same, but I don't get fulfilled by contact with someone who doesn't share my same interests and understandings etc, because I can't share my excitement with them. So perhaps what you're looking for isn't contact with people that don't resonate with you, but with finding people who are likeminded? The latter is hard, for me anyway, haven't found anyone in the years I do this work

Edited by Waken

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have this problem too, and I have read through all comments in this thread.

Before I come out the answer, I keep asking myself how to solve,

becoz this was just feelings, I don't even come out any language to describe this feeliings.

Here is my history:

1. Don't touch them, then I feel lonely, lonely is fine, but ignore people is not good.

2. Forget spiral work, observe and be chicken with chicken, be wolf with wolf. be color with that color.

3. I suffer betray, and I can see they suffer with their own survival too. I feel lost.

4. Create a space when I deal with different colors, and that little space in my mind is my breath.

5. I find be authentic is demand. becoz I only have little space for myself.

6. I need more, I want to touch different colors, I want happy, and I want to be authentic also.

7. God perspective, Look down from the sky view, I feel cool. but I am not awalys keep that in mind, tired.

8. Ant perspective, think about why they act like this, it's easy to guess thier triggers becoz we good at spiral job.

9. I don't have that kind of energy to think about all people's history. So I need energy. something to push me to solve this.

10. I don't have that huge energy. But I have my spiral level here.


And then back to your question, I think at the very beginning you and I were seperated them,

or made a wall between self and them, and they can feel it. and I dunno they can feel it. I just thought they are stupid. 

Self-love, that means you care about them, is avoiding people to create problem to you. 

use their perspective to feel thier question but use your own spiral level to help them.

they only see the result. they don't care what level you are, what method you use. 

Or, I can say, sometimes lower level people can solve the problem that I cannot do. 

Do you wish to see higher level people? I could see lots in TV or Youtube. but same as you, I never see higher stage in my life. 

When I watch them, there are some reasons their levels are higher than me,

that is, lower stage people create a chance for those people to let you observe they are higher than you.

What I think is, ok then, deal with different colors is a chance to let other people who higher than me to actuaclly see me.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

@mind_blown Hm, try this, it has worked for me in the past.

-When someone talks, just forget that you have to reply.

-This in turn will force you to just listen, instead of listen in order to reply.

-You will only listen, for the sake of listening.

-Why ? Maybe because you really care about what they have to say,  and even if if you dont, its fine, you at least care about yourself, so you will listen very closely on the off-chance that you will hear something that may not know and can be useful to you. No matter what the topic is.

-To make sure you are doing it right, when someone ends the sentence, instead of throwing something back at them, try to reinterpret what they have said t in your words, you will either get a nod, or if you have missed the point, you'll get further explanation.

-If you get triggered, its a bingo! You remember that trigger and do shadow work at home.

-This works best when you are not just talking nonsense and joking around ofc, it works better with more serious topics.

Test it out for a month or so. Its just practice, you wont have to listen to everything that speaks for your whole life :D

Edited by Yog

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

@Yog Really thanks for the tip, I think I listen too much xD

As for others, I'm not really sure how to reply yall but really appreciate the feedback , I read all of them

I'm doing a little better now, I posted that a while ago as an experiment of sort to see if there is a better way to communicate with others without deviating my values.

I don't mean to judge the value of others, sorry if I seem that way , I don't suffer severe depression or isolation or anything like that maybe what I'm finding for is how to feel more intimacy with people around me ..I will begin a new journey soon and hopefully, I will meet more like-minded people.



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now