Brain visions

[Neph]

It's time to come out of the vortex

It's time to live your life to the max

Yeah I get it everyday

you complainting about everyday

It's just another mess

Don't you get it you need to start

Playing chess

The game has already begun 

Yeah it has 

It's already a checkmate 

There you guess

Try to get out of this stress

Yeah you haven't known

What's really Vortex

[Preety_India]

Don't try to pin it on Neil by making him a scapegoat. 

It's all your own doing. You dug your grave now sit in it. 

You were being a douche to me. It's been long overdue. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm having such a great day. Finally. Some things are in order.. Rainbow after the rains! 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Rainbows and unicorns 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Such people are selfish. I call them fitters

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I call this transcendence

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I like how she says that she wants to put her shame away into a box out there. 

Labeling your emotions can help a lot 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Today it's 10 Jan and I'm feeling much better than the last turbulent week I had. .

Lot of my issues have been resolved and put to rest. 

Now I need to get back on and get normal. 

sight is reasonable

Foresight is intelligence. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Two words that describe my situation are 

Trauma and Stress

I need to resolve both 

 

[Bill W]

Nice clip of Lady Gaga there. I myself and have been on mental health medication more than I've been off it over the years.

Miss India, sorry to intrude. But randomly, I was wondering what the top 3 or top 5 or even top 10 most powerful spiritual books you have read are? Spiritual/Self-Help, whatever has helped you in your journey, or given you powerful insights etc.

 

[Preety_India]

I am not able to recollect the titles of the books I have read so I will get back to your question a bit later, maybe in a few days   

 

 

[Bill W]

12 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I am not able to recollect the titles of the books I have read so I will get back to your question a bit later, maybe in a few days   

 

 

I will give you 48 hours, no more!

Just kidding. Any time, even if not, don't worry. Don't want to distract you from your purpose with the journal. 

[Preety_India]

So I was thinking about the archetype of the perfect gender 

 

 

They come together to create a perfect environment. 

The perfect woman.. 

The perfect man

 

I'll call these some names. 

I am going to take Sanyaas. This is ultimate decision. 

I am going to quit being with my family because I have realized that I can't trust them anymore. It's very hurtful to be with them. 

So the next few months are going to be extremely hard for me because I am finally going to sever ties with my entire family and move on alone. 

It is going to be very hard... 

 

They constantly push me to do things that I don't like to do. It has been detrimental for my personality as a whole and it has been cruel to my soul. 

My soul will never find peace as long as I live with such horrible family members. 

I don't need such people in my life who have zero value for me. So I have decided to do. To cut them off. 

Death is better than living among such people. 

This is an emotional experience for me and deeply distressing. 

 

But this decision is spiritually significant. 

I'm crying as I type this. Because this has been so hard for me. 

I can't take it anymore. 

[Preety_India]

I need to do what's good for my mental health. 

I need to be away from my family for the rest of my life. I need to leave them for good. Because they have hurt me too much and caused me too much pain. 

 

I don't care what they think. I hope and pray.  That everything becomes alright. 

 

@Bill W thanks for the support. It means a lot. I'm sorry I'm in the middle of something. I'm just dealing with some stuff mentally so forgive me.

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I need to break off with them which is going to be hard. And this will require a few months. 

Right now I'm just dealing with the fact that I can't trust them anymore. 

I cannot trust them anymore. 

They destroyed my dreams, my hopes, my passions, my inner needs, they sabotaged my growth, my potential, they destroyed me in every possible way... 

 

 

 

[Bill W]

10 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I'm crying as I type this. Because this has been so hard for me. 

I can't take it anymore. 

 

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

thanks for the support. It means a lot. I'm sorry I'm in the middle of something. I'm just dealing with some stuff mentally so forgive me.

 

No worries, for what it's worth I am around and so are the others on here. Life is tough. Too tough at times. It can push us to the limit. Most of us on here have survived something or a series of things. Otherwise we wouldn't be here. Speak soon. 

[Preety_India]

I will never forget this experience. 

 

I will remember January 8th as my day of great success. That day I achieved something that I thought I couldn't achieve. It was a door to positivity 

I was sitting outside in the middle of the night in the cold and thinking about it.. And I was very emotional and sensitive. And I thought it was such a happy pleasant moment. 

And the same day my family member was trying to destroy that wonderful victory by discussing things that were depressing me. I told her to shut up. 

I'm a positive person and she kept telling me that Im negative. 

She can't be grateful for shit. Such a shitty personality both of them. Unbearable. 

How do you have  a family that doesn't jive with you spiritually. 

They won't understand shit. 

They think spirituality is bullshit. I can't deal with such people. They eat junk food. I can't eat that.

Im tooo pure for such people and I'm done with them. 

It's a new year and it's a new me. 

And I want to prove to them what I can do and I will do it. 

I am not a slave to someone's commands.. 

I'm the owner of my soul and my body and I'm the only owner and none other 

So they cannot have authority on my life. Period. 

[Preety_India]

One day I'll wake up from this nightmare and I'll lead a good life 

 

She is so selfish. Both of them are. She didn't even care what I was going through. It's January 13. And she switched off her phone like it's nothing. What a selfish pathetic woman?!!! 

And so is the other one. I'm fed up with both. 

 

Thanks for all the pain. God is with me. 

I have only two things to go with me now. 

Only 2 things. 

God and the world. 

I will tell myself that the world is too big. Yes it is. It's a big world. It can accommodate me.. It can fit me in. 

God will take care of things. God is there.. 

God will help me.. 

God will help me. 

I'm too fed up with such people. 

 

They have caused me immense mental pain. 

[Preety_India]

I was abused throughout my childhood. I was treated very harshly. I went through so much. And I won't forget all that.. 

 

I have been through too much. 

Too freaking much for me to feel normal at all. I don't like this bossy woman in my life who keeps judging and manipulating me. 

 

[Preety_India]

On 1/13/2020 at 2:44 AM, Preety_India said:

So I was thinking about the archetype of the perfect gender 

 

 

They come together to create a perfect environment. 

The perfect woman.. 

The perfect man

These are important for the smooth flow of social order. 

The perfect man is the patriarch. A Godhead. 

The perfect woman is the submissive gentle humane woman who is supportive and understanding. She is the epthinus. 

Epthinus is like boann the goddess of creativity. 

 

 

And the patriarch is a Godhead. I will call him odinyus from Odin. 

Edited January 14, 2020 by Preety_India