Nicachi

Enlightened or Insane?

17 posts in this topic

Hey guys, 

This is so paradox. I'm writing to all of you around the world rn but actually kinda writing to myself. Where is the difference between me and you. I am you. You are me. 

That is so frightening because then I'm all alone!!!!! And even if you guys will write something it won't change the fact that all is one. So actually I'm talking to myself rn. 

I have the feeling of going crazy. 

I have to cry and laugh at the same time. Feeling truth and being afraid of it at the same time. 

I'm loosing myself. Literally. 

I am disappearing. 

I'm not tripping rn. 

This is... Insane. Everything is perfect as it is, but it's so paradox I cannot grasp it.. 

Does it make a difference if I'd kill myself?? I could die rn and still everything would be working out perfect, wouldn't it? 

I would be released from this personal illusion of self and maybe could fuse with pure consciousness. Without struggling with the little personal "problems and issues".

Does anyone get me? 

I feel like it is bullshit to even post this, because in the end it doesn't matter. Wow I feel like the ground is disappearing. Nothing makes sense anymore. 

My heart is beating so fast. Goosebumps. Crying and laughing. Void. Not knowing what is going on rn. 

 

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Yep everything is perfect, it is so beautiful! Send love to the one who is afraid, like a parent to a child. Talk to the fear, understand its concerns. One already is pure consciousness one can't not be! Send conciousness and love to those problems and issues, and to all the resistance to do so. Stop trying to make sense of it, just allow it all, watch the fireworks go, bask in the perfection of the all. Surrender to pure conciousness.  

Edited by OctagonOctopus

The how is what you build, the why is in your heart. 

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This is so similar to the inner dialogue I had when I took a large dose of shrooms!

I am everything. Everything is perfect and I made it perfectly. But I am alone, playing puppets with myself...:(

 

@Nicachi Maybe this will help contextualise:

 

Edited by flowboy

Erik Jongbloed - Transformational Coaching  
*
Kill indecision and self-sabotage - Go from reactive to proactive - Become organised, focused and motivated

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@Nicachi Too good to be true, right?
Every single thing you do is exactly as it should be.
Do you still feel like you are doing things, or does it do itself?


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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@tsuki .... I'm in awe. It happens to itself and that feels really weird. As if Ioose control, but in a good way. Because I never had control about anything... 

I guess I might need some time to really just go with that new feeling and view of life. 

Quiet overwhelming. 

Thank you for your comment. 

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On 5.9.2019 at 1:04 PM, flowboy said:

This is so similar to the inner dialogue I had when I took a large dose of shrooms!

I am everything. Everything is perfect and I made it perfectly. But I am alone, playing puppets with myself...:(

 

@Nicachi Maybe this will help contextualise:

 

You know, I always wanted to test shrooms and psychedelic stuff but I guess I'd freak out... Because I'm not tripping and I'm having these thoughts and physical effects like heartbeat ING so strong and sweating, shaking, laughing, crying... I feel better today than yesterday but still I guess I need time to go with this new view on everything... It feels supernatural... And weird...

Thanks for your advice.. I will watch this video tonight and hope I will feel a bit more relaxed. 

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On 5.9.2019 at 1:09 AM, OctagonOctopus said:

Yep everything is perfect, it is so beautiful! Send love to the one who is afraid, like a parent to a child. Talk to the fear, understand its concerns. One already is pure consciousness one can't not be! Send conciousness and love to those problems and issues, and to all the resistance to do so. Stop trying to make sense of it, just allow it all, watch the fireworks go, bask in the perfection of the all. Surrender to pure conciousness.  

I will do so. I was so overwhelmed by this feeling of truth. 

Today I feel much better.. Still weird but yea it's beautiful, so beautiful. 

Thank you for your comment. 

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@Mikael89

18 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

@Nicachi What practices have you done?

I meditate (last time not that regular) ,  reading self improvement books, yoga, and journal a lot. 

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Looks to me like a spontaneous (Kundalini?) awakening :D Well, conceptualising it is useless ultimately. Except to point out that my conceptual knowledge indicates that this is good and nothing to worry about. But you know that by now.

How are you feeling today?
 


Erik Jongbloed - Transformational Coaching  
*
Kill indecision and self-sabotage - Go from reactive to proactive - Become organised, focused and motivated

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On 9.9.2019 at 6:05 PM, flowboy said:

Looks to me like a spontaneous (Kundalini?) awakening :D Well, conceptualising it is useless ultimately. Except to point out that my conceptual knowledge indicates that this is good and nothing to worry about. But you know that by now.

How are you feeling today?
 

Hey... I guess that was the greatest awakening I ever had so far. I noticed that the "suicidal thoughts" came into my mind because my ego was so feared to dissolve that it made something up to worry about, to create some kind of personhood. 

I feel way better since that day... Heard some satsangs from mooji and watched some videos of eckhart tolle. Also journal a lot! And all the comments here also helped  a lot!!! 

I'm so grateful. 

Thank you ❤️??

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