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AdamDiC

How To Deal With Inner Anger and Destructive Energy

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Somewhere on this path i have developed a high amount of repressed anger and energy. It feels hot, tense, and concentrated, it's located in my neck and shoulders, and it comes up stronger when i go against my intuition and start worrying.

If it could speak it was say something like "FUUUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT, STUPID FUCKING PHYSICAL REALITY FUCKING FEELINGS AND SHIT AND DESIRES AND THOUGHTS! AGGH".

on the other spectrum it  makes me depressed and listless because i dont understand it. Communicating my feelings to others seems hard, i try but feel as if i wont be understood.

Any help is appreciated.

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You will have to work this out yourself, I can only give you pointers. 

First you will you need to end your current negative cycle by letting go , some good video that will show how silly your negativity was , or how you are worrying about silly things will help, because I can bet you have gone trough worse and it turned out just alright, or maybe it is nothing even serious 

you just go with wrong intent and it escalates in mind, creating emotional  tension that does not go away that easy if you do not stop it early.

 

I do not have any video right now as I posting, but  I might look some up a bit later, or maybe someone else will post it.

By letting go  I mean not getting cycled in mind attention to make judgments , or any ill intent,thought whatsoever, even against yourself, you see there is  huge difference from doing something, thinking something while having negative  intent, or doing something that might be considered by someone negative.

Here comes the tricky part and it will take  some time to figure out, you can actually experiment with it and see for yourself how it works and it really applies to any mind story, or intent you create , it can be hate , it can be love of someone, as soon as you will start to create this intent, you will actually start to experience it and your whole experience will be dragged in it.

Hope it helps. 

 

Edited by purerogue

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If it could speak it was say something like "FUUUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT, STUPID FUCKING PHYSICAL REALITY FUCKING FEELINGS AND SHIT AND DESIRES AND THOUGHTS! AGGH".


Lol, I realize it's no laughing matter at this point (or is it??), but this gave me a chuckle.

Here's something I used to do,so you may want to give it a try.

Say you're just going about whatever you're doing,whatever that is, and these thoughts and emotions spring up.
Stop whatever it is you're doing,even if it's just sitting around. Get very  present,very alert,very watchful. If sitting, sit up and straighten the spine. This would be an alert,watchful posture.
Let's say  you were walking along a path and suddenly came upon a rattle snake. You would get very present,very alert,very watchful. You wouldn't notice anything else going on around you except watching that snake.This is the state. In this very present,very watchful state,observe what is happening. Observing/watching both thought, and emotion, as a whole, (i.e., not giving more attention to one over the other). They work in tandem. There may be sub-thoughts of wanting the other thoughts to not be there,shifting back and fro. Stay with it,alert and watchful just observing. Nothing else. The thought activity,tension etc., will start dissipating,just keep watching until the mind and body comes back to a more relaxed,restful state. You'll also probably notice breathing is really shallow during these three ring, fuck reality, thought/emotion shit shows. So remember to take some breaths while observing.

This is "letting go" imo. Letting it come and go without interference. Gradually you will start recognizing you are separate from, and not the body-mind. You are the observer,they are the observed. This is the beginning of understanding, "who am I"?, and the road to freedom.

Edited by who chit

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@AdamDiC I'm having some anger issues aswell. The anger is expressed outward towards other people, especially my children. Don't do that!!! Stop it! NO, NO, NO!

It come up almost everyday. Mostly at the evenings when I'm tired. And I don't now how to meet that energy. 

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In my experience, Exercise. Walking for an hour. Iyengar yoga. Anything you like the idea of. 

Look into doing it in a balanced way such as not overexercising, or doing something too intense for your body. 

Best of luck with this.

Edited by Solace

Feel your hearts embrace of this moment of existence, and your love will awaken in everything you perceive ❤️ 

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5 hours ago, AdamDiC said:

If I could speak I was say something like "FUUUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT, STUPID FUCKING PHYSICAL REALITY FUCKING FEELINGS AND SHIT AND DESIRES AND THOUGHTS! AGGH".

 

5 hours ago, AdamDiC said:

on the other spectrum it  makes me depressed and listless because i dont understand it.

That's egoic suffering. This won't happen if you identify as your feelings, express them fully to yourself while feeling them viscerally and then totally totally accepting yourself in this expression at the moment exactly as you are. Keep on practicing radical self acceptance until your perspective of yourself shifts and you understand without a doubt that these expressions are the highest love that you have been seeking all along and suffering because you couldn't find it  

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I found David Hawkins book "Letting Go" useful. Also the work of Don Miguel Ruiz. I'm also now tapping into the Bible for help.

I try to remember that when I'm angry I am highly likely to be practicing a neurotic level of hypocrisy. Most the things I get angry about, I have done the very same thing or similar to others. 

I'm also really working on day to day humility right now, as when angry I am almost certainly throwing all my humility out the window at the time.

There is a nice thread on here about humility  on this forum.

 

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@who chit @David Hammond wow, thank you so much. 

I do meditate, but I guess i just need to be more conscious despite everything. I have to change my relationship to this experience. And i can't comprehend what it will morph into, only observe the process slowly, carefully, and with much love.

All my problems arise from lack of observation i feel. I will observe and melt.

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