Ria

How to be consistent?

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Since last 2 and 3 years I am finding this difficult to be consistent or follow my routine. I know it's long time to be on track but I don't know I feel so lost. This all started after OCD and depression , I mean due to some issues I got OCD and then fell into depression. I am still suffering but it's not that much pain now. I moved to another city (away from my parents) for studies 6 years back and I couldn't lead myself to the right track or progress also my academics was getting bad . I couldn't realize the impact of it on my mind, my heart was full of regrets and sadness , then I suffered through OCD(o) also . I used to be in top list during my school and after that I just lost it. Well, I tried to come out all of this and to some extent I could make it. But all these things have changed me , I am not the same person as I used to be. Now I am preparing for my job but when I study my whole past , regrets and the sadness deep down run in front of my eyes.and I can't stop it. This make me feel like I am not doing good or not good. My parents helped me alot I this but after all this is my journey and I have to go through it.

How can I come out of my past and again be consistent for my work? 

Thank you 😃

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Consistency is same as habit building.

Golden rule is this: dont skip a single day, no matter the excuse. Whatever the excuse is you troubleshoot around it to do the practise you want.

Hand in hand with the dont skip a day, is another golden rule: dont be perfectionist at all. Some days youll be on the money and some days you wont be.

Initially, excuses will come out from nowhere. After about 30 days the excuses totally drop off.

Expect excuses early on. Dont skip a day. And dont be 100% perfect about it.

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"but when I study my whole past , regrets and the sadness deep down run in front of my eyes.and I can't stop it"

This truly will be a big excuse initially. When i say "excuse" I dont mean to dismiss your past, i mean a distraction to prevent you following your directice.

Dont go into victim mode. Victim mode is ego strengthening. Pain body as Tolle would say. Because if youre feeling so miserable, who wants to study at that point?

But also, even if you feel a little upset, honour your feeling but study anyway. It is just an excuse at this context.

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@JohnnyBravo thank you 😃

But I want to know that even if I get these things in my mind while studying , I will have to continue? 

And how Victim mode is ego strengthening?

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3 hours ago, Ria said:

How to be consistent?

developa crystal clear vision of what you want


unborn Truth

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@ajasatya hey , I think I am clear about that but as I said that I don't feel good after things run through my mind . But yes our reason for doing something is the only thing that keep us going .

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Be excited about what you do, unless you can’t choose to atm and you feel it’s mandatory for your current circumstance, then I suggest setting rewards and punishments around your priorities. You’ll look forward to something good, whilst making sure you don’t inflict any unwanted damage and most importantly finishing what’s important. Adhere to it if you fail and go again until you get it right :) 

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5 hours ago, JohnnyBravo said:

Consistency is same as habit building.

Golden rule is this: dont skip a single day, no matter the excuse. Whatever the excuse is you troubleshoot around it to do the practise you want.

Hand in hand with the dont skip a day, is another golden rule: dont be perfectionist at all. Some days youll be on the money and some days you wont be.

Initially, excuses will come out from nowhere. After about 30 days the excuses totally drop off.

Expect excuses early on. Dont skip a day. And dont be 100% perfect about it.

Couldn't agree more!

And also take it easy. All too often I tried to implement 5 habits at once and ended up not following through on a single one.

Try one habit at a time. If you want a workout habit, start with going to the gym twice per week. Once that becomes a routine like brushing your teeth, increase frequency or start the second habit.


Knowing is not enough. We must apply.
Willing is not enough. We must do. 

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@KyleR thank you 😃

I think I should try this , rewards and punishments because at the end it's me only who has to get my work done . So it's better to make it interesting.

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@Shiva thank you 😃

Yes , I think That will be more easy if I try to build one habit at a time.

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Yes victim mode is ego strengthening/maintaining.

An arrogant petty tyrant in power thinks they are above and beyond everyone. Their ego is huge. They say I am an Island look how different and better I am.

A depressed, victim, no-body cares about me, self pitying person (victim mode) is also the exact same thing. Its saying I am inferior to everyone and I am am island, look how broken I am.

Note victim mode is not the same as suffering a real life tragedy.

Viktor Frankyl was a victim, but he never went into victim mode. This his humility.

Even if you get those things in your mind yoi should continue? Yes. Acknowledge the thoughts are there and its difficult, but DO YOUR BEST. At least have a try.

My rule is, if you at least make effort and try every day, then that counts.

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What works for me is "doing." Do it every single day and that way you'll build momentum. Once you stop, then your momentum will drop and then you might be worried again about how to develop consistency. But just remember, just do, and then you'll build up the momentum again.


"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein

 

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On 3/7/2019 at 7:25 AM, Ria said:

There’s some really really great advice on this thread!

Since last 2 and 3 years I am finding this difficult to be consistent or follow my routine.

What changed 2-3 yrs ago?

I know it's long time to be on track but I don't know I feel so lost. This all started after OCD and depression , I mean due to some issues I got OCD and then fell into depression.

Express those “issues”, breathe slow and deep from your stomach, and begin articulating how it feels; the sensations, any concerns, the emotions, how it effects relationships, etc. You’re safe.Emotions, sensations, “taking a look”, won’t hurt you, it will help you. 

I am still suffering but it's not that much pain now.

Suffering = avoiding one’s own emotions. 

I moved to another city (away from my parents) for studies 6 years back and I couldn't lead myself - yes you could, yes you can. Thinking against yourself makes it seem like you can’t. Loving yourself - you’ll see that you totally can. 

to the right track or progress also my academics was getting bad . Accept yourself, don’t beat up on yourself. The only point, is your experience of right now. Try to make more out of it, and you will not enjoy yourself, and it will spiral. That is overthinking. Life is simply. Enjoy now by letting go of the layer & barriers you have put in place. 

I couldn't realize the impact of it on my mind, my heart was full of regrets and sadness (overthinking)

, then I suffered through OCD(o) also . (From overthinking; past & future. Enjoy now instead. Loosen up, have fun, you have every right. If you do not, admit you are the reason, that you’re choosing to be serious and critical. Pretending some outside force is “causing” you to choose what you choose is miserable, because it’s not true. )

I used to be in top list during my school and after that I just lost it. Nobody cares about that. Everyone just wants you to be happy. So stop  putting value on “top list” things. Happiness is not found in things, it’s found as you. 

Well, I tried to come out all of this and to some extent I could make it. But all these things have changed me , I am not the same person as I used to be. You’re not a person at all. You are the everpresent unchanging eternal awareness of sensations, thoughts, emotions, feelings, and sensory perceptions. Notice all of those change, and come & go - but you never change, you are the one constant, aware of all that changes. Peace itself. Now is enough for happiness, You are enough for happiness, YOU ARE HAPPINESS. Let go of the layers you have added. Surrender. 

Now I am preparing for my job but when I study my whole past Why are you doing that? Now is better. 

, regrets and the sadness deep down run in front of my eyes.and I can't stop it. Then don’t “stop it”. Let go of “it”. What is “it”?

This make me feel like I am not doing good or not good. All the difference in the world right there, and I sense you mention them casually, as if maybe they’re the same. They’re not. 

My parents helped me alot I this but after all this is my journey and I have to go through it. Lucky! 

How can I come out of my past and again be consistent for my work? Realize past-overthinking is fueled by suppressed, or, avoided, emotions. Let them out. Journal, create, write, sing, whatever you enjoy - but - express and articulate the feelings. Understanding = clarity. Clarity = joy. 

Thank you 😃

 

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I believe the more important question than How to be Consistent is WHY SHOULD YOU BE CONSISTENT. 

Because once the WHY part seeps into your sub conscious, you will automatically take care of the HOW. 

I have a video for you that explains the WHY.

Hope it is of value ! All the best. 
 

 

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@Shiva I wish more people knew this. I made the same mistake of trying to do many habits at once, even many businesses at once, and projects at once. It just doesn't work. You look back 2 years later and don't see much change. 1 habit at a time is the way to go. 1 habit done with focus and heart will make all the difference. 

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@Sunny J Gupta Exactly! It's much better to make a small but lasting change than change everything for 2 months and then revert back to old habits.


Knowing is not enough. We must apply.
Willing is not enough. We must do. 

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