LoveandPurpose

how to handle fear - thinking or awareness?

15 posts in this topic

I experience enormous fear when giving a presentation in school. Tomorrow I'll have one.

Last time, I tried the approach Leo talked about in his dealing with strong negative emotions of just being completly aware of them. However, the fear didn't dissolve and against the advice of Leo I started thinking: Giving the situation meaning (this is my hero's journey of becoming more authentic) and saying things like "I got this" to myself. The fear actually went away almost completly! Yet, Leo called this neurotic.

 

What approach is the best? Thinking or awareness? Or Both?

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Don't do that "i got this" business :D

Being more mindful of your emotions doesn't necessarily mean you have control over your emotions. Doesn't necessarily mean you have a balanced mind, doesn't necessarily mean you're stable. It just means that you're aware that you're not stable :D

First step is you become aware that you're not stable, second step you do the necessary practices to bring stability into your system. :)

 

 

Edited by Salvijus

Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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3 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

second step you do the necessary practices to bring stability into your system. :)

What would that be for example? :)

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Hatha Yoga, kriya yoga, but only if it's authentic, not book yoga, Tai Chi and all that martial arts stuff.

I think vippassana also works. I don't have much experience with it. But in theory it should work. And the people who I saw that practice vippassana been very equanimous and stable.

There could be more that I'm not aware of.

At some point even being mindful of your emotions will bring this stability when you reach a state where you can clearly see that your thoughts and emotions are not you. Then you're free from all anxiety and suffering. But this takes time. Years of practice.

Edited by Salvijus

Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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Become aware of how thought tries to suck you into this fear, become aware of the thought patterns before, during after. When I do this it brings me back to the present moment. You can then witness and 'see through' the illusory'ness, fully knowing all is well

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@Salvijus Could you recommend an introduction to Kriya Yoga? Wanted to start that for quite a while. But maybe not a whole book, so I can start today :D 

Edited by LoveandPurpose

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14 minutes ago, LoveandPurpose said:

@Salvijus Could you recommend an introduction to Kriya Yoga? Wanted to start that for quite a while. But maybe not a whole book, so I can start today :D 

Well the thing that did absolute wonders to me was shambhavi mahamudra kriya..but to learn it you need to be initiated which means you need to attend the program.. Same with all the Yoga practices that I do needs to be transmited in a certain way.

If you want something that you could start today sadhguru offers a simple Isha Kriya practice designed for wellbeing, mental balance and peace. If it resonates with you, you can experiment and see.

 

 

 

Edited by Salvijus

Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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We handle Fear by going with it, staying in it, until bliss arises. There is no other way. What you run from it persists, always. 

You don't need to analize your thoughts. It only needs bravery, that is all. 

Edited by Hellspeed

... 7 rabbits will live forever.                                                                                                                                                                                                  

 

 

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I've really found just diving into my feelings of fear with self-compassion has been super helpful. Just sitting and embracing those feelings, while comforting myself tends to drive away the worst of the feelings pretty consistently. There's this psychologist named Kristin Neff who has some self-compassion exercises and meditations that have been really useful for me, and I think they could be useful for you too. If you just google her name, you should be able to find her site. I especially recommend the "soften, soothe, allow" meditation.

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Journaling can help you get really clear on the exact fear. Fear of public speaking is secondary, something like fear of looking stupid is primary.  Once you isolate the fear with precision you'll know what to do. Even if that means opening up to the thoughts and feelings that make up that fear.

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The key is Exposure to the source of fear. These experiences will prove to your subconscious mind that theres nothing bad. Then the Fear response wont happen.

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