How do I help my friends out of Stage Orange?

[Homer]

So, I think it would be really good for my closest group of friends to smoke less pot, play less video games, and have more meaningful conversations. We are 8 guys, and a lot of focus lately is, sadly, on talking about shallow (Stage Orange type) topics, especially sex. I'm a social guy and have other friends, but this bunch really is something special, so I wouldn't want to replace them. It just feels like we have a collective addiction. 

I'd say my friends are all pretty Stage Green, but it's mainly a couple of them that have these Stage Orange tendencies, which contaminates the group and brings out this nasty vibe. I haven't been spending much time with them lately, and feel less connected to them. Wintertime here in Norway is dark and cold, so when we hang out it usually involves getting high and playing video games. I want to help these guys see our challenges more clearly so that our friendship can truly blossom, but find it difficult to get their attention when talking about self actualization.

How do I help my friends out of Stage Orange? Does anyone have any experience in trying to raise their friends' consciousness? Or in initiating healthy communication in a group of friends? All tips and insights are much appreciated  

[universe]

Why do you feel the need to change them and not accept them as they are right now? In SD no stage is better than the other.

If you really want I would do some of this. Show them how unfulfilling pragmatism is. Are they interested in cars? Talk about Tesla, what your favourite green energy source is. Talk trump politics limits. Stop playing video games. Suggest psychedelic drug trips. Go to music festivals. Open up emotionally with them. Show them the similarity between relgion and science indoctrination. I dont know your friends so you will have to see what fits best.

Give them this rant: 

 

[BjarkeT]

You don't just accept them for who they are

[jivvie]

@Homer  by allowing them to die in their pragmatism. Unless you are stage Yellow+ I doubt you have the core ability to change them. Tier 2 is a boss. Because this is when you are able to make huge differences in people's lives without judgement whatsoever. Everything is fine, just as it is. You love without limit. You do not say "Orange thinking is holding us back." Instead you say "Wow, we could put your interests to great use. What can I do for you? May I suggest this type of approach?"

I am not here to judge you. hell, I didn't really want to give this way of thinking because I could be wrong. After all, who am I? I am still majority Green. But I think you aren't incorporating their Orange strengths with your Green. Orange consciousness is not negative. There is some beauty in materialism, ambitious drive, and survival focus. Have you considered maybe your Green thinking is actually holding them down? What if what you want ruins their lives? Please be careful with the ego.

THIS IS WHAT I WOULD DO
I am very strategic in how I apply Green concepts to an Orange thinker. I will watch television with her/him. I think ask them questions. "Do you think they will be happy buying this? What is your view on money? If you lose it all tomorrow what would be next? After that? How do you feel about fixing core issues at the root?" This allows THEM to ponder and open up to you. Most of the time you will hit a dead end but sooner or later, they will come to you for advice when those walls come crumbling down. It may take weeks, months, or years. However long it takes, it is not our jobs to change people. The world is already fine without your little $0.02 you know? Focus on their strengths and uplift them. When times get hard for them, then ease your Green paradigm in.

 

Keep in mind all this is just talk. It is what I'd do and how I think. Doesn't mean jack shit. But hopefully I helped. Even if a little.

[outlandish]

I don't think you should actively try to hard to move your friends along the spiral. It will probably backfire, come off as preachy/evangelical etc. But if you do notice them moving in one direction you can be there to help support and foster that growth. You can be the environment that the growth happens within. Embody the next stage yourself, and it will naturally have an effect on the people around you.

You can't help a flower blossom by opening up the bud, it all comes in it's due course. But when that flower does begin to open, appreciate it's beauty and give your buddy some good water.

[Arcangelo]

You don't.

You can only help yourself, It's a full time job.

 

[Homer]

Okay, thanks guys; I will try to be more aware of my own judgement about them, resist the urge to open their buds and instead let them blossom in their own time  

@universe &@jivvie , you both mentioned pragmatism... Would any of you care to elaborate on what pragmatism means, and its limitations? 

[jivvie]

On 3/2/2019 at 6:50 AM, Homer said:

Okay, thanks guys; I will try to be more aware of my own judgement about them, resist the urge to open their buds and instead let them blossom in their own time  

@universe &@jivvie , you both mentioned pragmatism... Would any of you care to elaborate on what pragmatism means, and its limitations? 

1. Show me proof that a life purpose will make me successful. 

2. Show me proof that God exists. 

3. Infinite does not exist because if it did, there would be no meaning to life. 

4. My favorite because I used to say this, “show me God.” 

 

Ones that are deeply pragmatic believe only in results or proofs. They are highly logical minded. Not saying this is a bad thing. Quite the opposite actually. But it can become a pretty big problem once he/she realizes that this system of thinking is not healthy. Getting into Green, you had to drop this way of thinking exponentially. Well matured Green intellectuals understand that pragmatism is just not enough. There’s a void that can’t be filled in Orange. This is also when I personally started seeing God again. But not as I did in Blue during my time in the military, but as a universal entity.  

 

Pragmatism limitations came to you at some point in your life. I’ll explain my own. At some point I kept telling people that believe in religion that their God is false and useless. Because God isn’t real. I can’t see Him. I can’t touch It. The only thing that makes sense is the economy and what’s here. What’s living is what matters. One day I was in church and I cried during the musicals. I felt something in the people and the environment. I realized that God is in people, in all of us. My theory was proven when my younger cousin died. I stayed away for two days thinking about life and death. I found God, I guess. In us all. 

 

Being aggressively pragmatic keeps you closed minded. It’s much more useful imo, to balance it with Green values.  Or else you’ll end up like me, an immature and insecure version of Green. 

[zambize]

Steal from them, one can't be materialistic if they have no materials

[fridjonk]

Since they probably can't handle the length and depth of leo's videos, id suggest you show them this video. It covers the basics pretty well. And if you want to get closer to them go out and do some outdoor activities. Me and my friend live in Iceland, and we don't let no dark winter keep us locked up inside and playing video games. I suggest you check out some Wim Hoff and try and drag them with you to do som mountain climbing in the cold (even smoking weed as a reward at the top of the climb like we do) . Get in touch with nature, that will be the best way to detach them from stage orange.