Defense Mechanisms

[Sahil Pandit]

What are your Defense Mechanisms and how are you working toward over coming them?

Here are some that i have struggled with: 

1.) Criticism and Judgement - 

2.) Passive Aggression - 

3.) Jealousy - 

4.) Resentment - 

5.) Low Self Esteem - 

6.) Repression -

Please feel free to add your own experiences with these (Or any you would like to add) along with how you over came these/reduced them 

[zambize]

I think anger belongs here for a lot of people, myself included.  It can be a defense mechanism against say sadness and embarrassment.  If you've ever played a team game it's very common for the second worst player to kind of lash out at the worst player in larger team games, and I've found it's not that you actually care they are playing poorly, but are embarrassed about your own performance and want to pawn that burden off to someone else.

[Sahil Pandit]

@zambize How have you dealt with anger in your own life?

Have you over come it, for the most part? Or is it still a struggle? 

[zambize]

Well I do and dont struggle with anger.  I'm personally not a very angry person and dont get the emotion much at all which gives the illusion that I'm good at handling my anger, but I really just dont get it often, so when I do I'm kind of like holy shit what should I be doing with this emotion. What I've been doing is just really listening to my anger as you should with all your emotions.  On a day I notice I'm angry, I spend 15 minute meditation sessions until it's gone just kind of focused on clearing my emotional slate, feeling what I gotta feel and taking whatever message I feel like that feeling is trying to Express.  But yeah most of my anger is to silly stuff and pawning off my own embarrassment, and I want to get rid of my anger, but me having it now is not seen as a problem so to say, more a reality, and just being aware of my anger and whatever silly thing made me angry tends to fix things over time, so its not a struggle so to say 

[Sahil Pandit]

@zambize I see.

What would you say is the "trickiest" emotion/defense mechanism you have dealt with? 

[zambize]

When you're wrong and your mind knows your wrong so it kind of scrims over the other persons arguement and never really reads the meaning of what they are saying, just the words, and then looks for a response.  This ones tricky because it gets mixed in with stuff that is actually nonsense, so it's kind of hard to separate nonsense from difficult truths to accept.  I'd say that's the most difficult to actively be aware of throughout the day.  The hardest to realize in the first place is psychosomatic stuff for me.  I found that I my body kind of pretends like it has to go to the bathroom more when I sit down and start being productive or meditating, and there are other forms of this that took a while to realize what was going on

[aurum]

@Sahil Pandit

One I've dealt with is Stonewalling. Basically, as a little kid you unconsciously learn that if you just "shut down" any feelings and distance yourself from others, you don't get hurt.

Useful strategy for a little kid, not so much as an adult.

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@aurum Do you see that manifesting in younger adults who haven't given it up? 

[xoxoxwillxoxox]

Staying conscious, focusing on love and understanding, being honest with myself, forgiving myself when I fail, wisdom.

[Zigzag Idiot]

Through self observation and inquiry becoming aware of deep and life long semi- or unconscious defense mechanisms of a schizoid splitting off as well as adoption of different forms of Grandiosity to compensate for insecurities.

Both are very common though. The schizoid splitting off is that -stick your head in the sand like and ostrich- tendency. As well as the -pretend it didn't happen- kind of behavior.

Grandiosity beginning in early childhood with adopting the Persona of Movie Heroes or Protagonists. Default return to pretending I was Captain Kirk or Spock from about age 6 onward. Star Wars came out when I was 10. Lots of mileage from it,,, Luke, Hans and yoda.

I enjoyed pretending that I was Grady from Sanford and Sons also, for some reason,,,

It was painful and humiliating to integrate and process how far into adulthood these unconscious mechanisms went.

 

Edited December 20, 2018 by Zigzag Idiot

[Chase Ellfeldt]

All of them in small doses but particularly in judgment. Because I do things differently it's easy to look down on others to justify your own decisions. 

[Epiphany_Inspired]

What comes to mind for me, is a wave of righteous indignance... somehow, something (that from a metaperspective would seem insignificant) seems almost equal to a massive global cause (with the intensiity of the "need" for defensiveness) .... mindfulness is really important here... to recognize the craving to defend as or before it fully comes up, and to let go of the "need" to defend... 

[Hellspeed]

Is not easy when it comes down to the truth  

People want arguments, achievments and recognition. 

So i give them hell  just for asking... hahahaha, why not? 

But on the backgrownd i don't have hate  The play is important. 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Hellspeed When i get defensive, i wan't to protect my navel chakra. Why is this?

[Hellspeed]

41 minutes ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@Hellspeed When i get defensive, i wan't to protect my navel chakra. Why is this?

Trauma in the plexus and throat. Do you feel a knot in those areas around certain people? 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Hellspeed Yeah i tuck my chin down