It is the most loneliest time of the year

[Ampresus]

Hello everyone. I know the title is creative (believe me it has been stuck in my head for 3 days now), but I am not really kidding about my situation.

I was raised up as a muslim (and technically still am being raised up as a muslim since I am 14 years old) and everytime the end of the year comes... I want to just leave this place people call Europe. Everybody celebrates christmas. Everybody seems so happy. You know what I do? Cry myself to fucking sleep during the night of the 31st and christmas days.

I never celebrated both holidays and never will. Simply because my family doesn't and celebrating a holiday on your own is even more sad. I just want to go to my dream place whenever  I see people celebrate these holidays. Going to north Canada in a small wooden house with tea and books. Isn't that fucking life? Instead I am stuck here and everywhere I look I see people celebrating. I have had these feelings every year. Since I was around 6 years old. All my friends are always full of joy while I am at my saddest moments.

I think you can imagine how miserable I feel. Any advice is highly wanted.

Take care.

Edited December 13, 2018 by Ampresus

[kingroboto]

Do you really think all of those people are happy? 

 

and you're hardly alone in feeling this way. There's a reason why suicide rate skyrockets in holiday seasons

Edited December 13, 2018 by kingroboto

[ajasatya]

@Ampresus tell your parents that you feel lonely and sad. dont say that it's their fault. just be sincere about your feelings.

if you learn how to be sincere about your feelings, you'll probably ace every single personal relationship in your entire life.

[Gabriel Antonio]

I can imagine how you must be feeling. We all want to belong...

I personally don’t like Christmas, because there’s a lot of fake happiness. When I was a kid, though, I loved it and felt it was a magical moment. 

Idk what advice to give you. Maybe you could spend those days with the family of a friend. But I guess your family wouldn’t let you do it. 

Anyway, keep us posted! 

 

[Nahm]

@Ampresus You can feel about it, inside, how you want to feel. ☺️ The “holiday spirit” (love) does not come from things, or people, it comes from you.

[XYZ]

Yes, on the 4th of July (in the USA) and New Year's Day, plenty of ways to celebrate alone, but Thanksgiving and Christmas places close down and it seems everyone else is with family and close friends. My mother is the only family I have and never had the type of friends that invite me over for those holidays, so it is the loneliest time of the year.

Being alone on those days is not so bad, actually pleasant when I go for a long walk and it's calm, few people and no traffic. What really makes me feel uneasy is when someone asks me how was your holiday, or what did you do? 

Loneliness is relative, you tend to feel it most when around other people who seem to be having fun together and experiencing human connection. In contrast when all by yourself you eventually stop feeling lonely because there is nothing to compare it to.