Help...

[Ingit]

Summer vacactons and I’m back to my home..from another countey after a long.  Its my 2nd day at home. I feel frustrated and sometimes yells at my mother cuz Sometimes I think she always itritates me for no reason... I’m also getting relapses of my previous gf as I dumped her cuz She was so cheap I think and I dont trust her... I was very happy on the day I was coming home but now At my Home I have started remembering previous things happened to me and all those shit.. Please help me... I want to change this thing...I want to study and devote my all time studying... I don’t know what I keep thinking in my mind... my previous times when I was down and hurt.

[SFRL]

If you are 18 move out. 

[pluto]

Don't define yourself with past memories. Be in the moment, be in the now, the past does not exist. Put some headphones on, listen to your favorite music and let go and just do your thing. Do what excites you and brings you the most joy at any given moment and act to the best of your ability.

One thing leads to another, if you struggle with being present. Look into meditation, mindfulness and a book called power of now can help with this.

[Charlotte]

That ⬆️ ESPECIALLY the book advice @Ingit . See @rounder others are suggesting this book ??

 

[zoey101]

1 hour ago, Ingit said:

Summer vacactons and I’m back to my home..from another countey after a long.  Its my 2nd day at home. I feel frustrated and sometimes yells at my mother cuz Sometimes I think she always itritates me for no reason... I’m also getting relapses of my previous gf as I dumped her cuz She was so cheap I think and I dont trust her... I was very happy on the day I was coming home but now At my Home I have started remembering previous things happened to me and all those shit.. Please help me... I want to change this thing...I want to study and devote my all time studying... I don’t know what I keep thinking in my mind... my previous times when I was down and hurt.

No one can hurt you without YOUR permission. None of these past events can effect you without YOUR permission.

Everything you are going through is all just part of growing up. You got a taste of freedom and now you are back under your parents' roof. It's a hard thing to adjust to, but it's not impossible. Alternatively, you could move out if you want to live under your rules and not your parents' rules. It's their house so you need to respect that no matter how crazy they act because, at the end of the day, once you are 18 they don't have to take care of you anymore.

Just try to appreciate what you have and work for the things you don't have. Live in the NOW because the past doesn't exist anymore, it happened, it's over. The future doesn't exist yet, there are infinite possibilities and YOU have the power to decide where to go, but the future won't happen unless you live NOW. 

[Hansu]

1 hour ago, zoey101 said:

No one can hurt you without YOUR permission. None of these past events can effect you without YOUR permission.

 

Exactly this.

I have noticed that whenever i go to my childhood home for extended period of time (basically summer vacations) i tend to gravitate towards my old bad habits.

You just have to push through them. Practice mindfulness and change what you need, accept everything else

If your mother keeps irritating, consider renting an apartment or try to figure a way to deal with your mother. In the worst case scenario your mother is lost in the web of beliefs and wont come out even if you tried your everything to help her. Sadly, i have witnessed it in first person as my mother lost her job and fell under alcoholism after she was unemployed for 6 years. I have tried to help her in every way possible, try to help her get a job, try to help her with her marriage, try to help her with her emotions, i have even cried with her and the moment it looked like things would go better, everything would just crash even worse. Now i have simply accepted that she's a negative force pulling down my whole family with her, but i won't let her pull me down with her

[zoey101]

9 minutes ago, Hansu said:

Exactly this.

I have noticed that whenever i go to my childhood home for extended period of time (basically summer vacations) i tend to gravitate towards my old bad habits.

You just have to push through them. Practice mindfulness and change what you need, accept everything else

If your mother keeps irritating, consider renting an apartment or try to figure a way to deal with your mother. In the worst case scenario your mother is lost in the web of beliefs and wont come out even if you tried your everything to help her. Sadly, i have witnessed it in first person as my mother lost her job and fell under alcoholism after she was unemployed for 6 years. I have tried to help her in every way possible, try to help her get a job, try to help her with her marriage, try to help her with her emotions, i have even cried with her and the moment it looked like things would go better, everything would just crash even worse. Now i have simply accepted that she's a negative force pulling down my whole family with her, but i won't let her pull me down with her

It's a really sad thing to do, especially when you are raised in an environment where family is EVERYTHING. But you can't help someone that doesn't want to change. You'd have better luck walking through a wall. YOU can only control, change, and live for YOU. No one else can live your life for you. Sometimes you have to do the hardest things in the world to get where you want to be. No one said it would be sunshine and rainbows the whole way.