What are some good ways to avoid or prevent depression ?

[ValiantSalvatore]

Hello,

I wanted to ask what are some general ways to avoid depression ?

I am doing the following currently to not fall into the void of self-torture: 

-> Journaling 

-> Taking a cold shower each morning wish helps to reduce depressive symptoms 

-> Sports 2-3 times a week ( running mostly) 

-> I went vegeterian and I lived vegan for 6 months I do not know how benefical is that, yet a friend told me to eat bananas and I generally eat a lot of rice and vegetables or noodles and pesto. Fruits and oat meal with dry fruits. Eggs and cheese. I  take b12 supplements for fatigue issues which works.

-> I am meditating with two different techniques. A loving-kindness version of mindfulness and the another mindfulness pratice which helps a lot, in addition to sports. 

-> Gratitude exercise 1-2 times a week

Still, I find it difficult to reconcile the paradox of meeting people and having friends and to not get depressed often times I feel like shit after I have interacted with people or if I am subject to a smaller group of people. In larger groups it somehow is fine, yet I still long for having social contacts. Yet, at the sametime it depresses me to steadily consume or the need to go out and party in order to have friends. So, I am quite introverted and I can stay alone for a long time, yet my friends just play video games and talk about the same shit do not have goals and somehow drift through life without living the 9 to 5 grind and, basically living like their parents which I hated since I was a teen I hated the way my family lived taking zero risks and always being unneccesarily skeptic, not being curious undermining my curiosity, having zero interest besides sports and always talking about people or do nothing. While at the sam time allowing me to go out and enjoy "western" culture partying and drinking alcohol. Never even contemplating a different life style. We live to work 9 to 5 to take some vacation have some fun with friends than suddenly  the relationship falls apart someone dies fights are not reconciled / mediated and failures are accepted as inevitable or risks are not even taken. I can't stand it I'd rather fail and learn or do some calculated risk, but still this mindset is "mediocrely" strong. I love the concepts of personal development and I mostly suck at taking action, since this is something I avoided, since it implied emotional upheaveals and I could not deal with them appropriately before meditating and journaling. I feel like I am a product of nothing since my parents were not really there for me and I spent the most of my time alone or with my grandma and she was just a whole nother category to deal with, she is just an egotistical, complacent, arrogant, nasty, toxic, old women which has 0 capacity to experience empathy or step into other peopls shoes. Conditioned from head to toe. Unnessecary and manipulative. We live in the same house and appropriately we interacted like 10 - 5 min a day always about the same things, so I wanted to get away from her, her arbitrariness or despotism was just to much to handle for me and she did not respect any boundaries. 

I am often reminded about things in the past which make me feel like I am an unworthy being. My family is only of "material" help so, they can provide me with the neccesary support that way, yet emotionally I feel extremely distant. I want to work on my live purpose, yet I find it difficult to not get sucked back in to depressive episodes and I do not have a support structure that can help me. Even, when I chip away at both of these things day by day. It is almost impossible for me to no be confronted about my past, otherwise it would be easier for me to not fall into depressive states or phases. That's why isolation helps me tremendously and small interactions with people often times are enough or interacting with people on the internet to work through some of these things with shadow work. 

What are some good ways to work through these things ? I have postponed a lot of "critical" life choices and I already regret a few. I have a purpose even if it is not that strong and I contemplated about having a vision basically since I am 18-17. I am now 24. Especially, during the last three years where I traveled and saw different cultures and people my vision that I always had in mind was extremely vivd and motivating. Now, many things seem meaningless not in the sense that they can fulfill me or provide a healthy outlet/way of doing things / being. Yet, regardless which value, idea or vision I come up with contemplate and insert personal meaning into. At the end it comes back to a neutral sense of "meh" and realizing more that a simple life would provide me with more fulfillment, yet at the sametime I hold on dear to my ambitions, yet struggle to execute them and that makes me feel like a failure. I want to work at my purpose now and study more and stop not going to university since I feel discriminated and like an outcast. Even, if that implies being at home not attending uni and studying for myself. Yet, somehow any content or concept is meaningless since you are inserting value into it and it is a mental construct which can fall apart or you learn to sustain it.. or transcend at best..

The region here is quite ethnocentric/blue and my resentment for people sometimes rasises to a preposterous level.. I can deal with it in a creative way, making fun of the situation or writing, yet I can't deal with the subtleties. I talked to a psychcologist (two differents ones) and I have an appointment scheduled in december this year. Yet, their opinions vary so much that I can't accurately assess their competence. One says oh you need help immediately and take some substances the other one said that I do not need help and we can schedule an appointment but in a different city. So, I am unsure what I can do in the meantime to not fall into this depressive mode again. I sometimes get phases of sucidial thoughts for a couple of weeks and need to escape into some activity to not think about it, I do not know how normal that is one of my friends says oh that is normal, but the rest of them don't. 

I do not like people or humans since I feel like I am being steadily attacked or not seen and heared. I never felt so much like an outcast and accepted it so much at the sametime. I do not fit into this world, even if I can be a "good" node in a network and provide value to other peoples life in some way. I know my biggest enemy is me and has always been, yet I desperately need a support structure, which my family can't provide to 0,0000000000000000000% I tried billions of times, but it is not possible for these people to relate to me. I like the idea of family, yet resent it's ethnocentric egotistical version of it strongly, I integrated parts of it with shadow work. My friends are mostly rational people they can listen but their heart is in their minds, the people who are very emotionally that I meet can't deal with my struggles and mostly are to distant. So, we could only call etc or they are effected to much, but at one point I can't just keep things to myself. So, I'll talk.. bluntly, people tend to not like that, yet otherwise they act out the same ways in which they act in which ways I feel like shit. 

What are some activities that I can do that prevent longer times of depression or feeling like shit about myself ? I would like to join a group where I can do sports, yet this small town is shit and the university is on top of a hill and the activities they offer for sport are not good once a week soccer and the gym, some yoga, and that's it ? So, I can not meet people twice a week to build solid friendships, I am considering joining the students " general students commitiee. I do not know if changing the university would be worth it and I do not own a car, so I can't drive to a sports club nearby and to a degree I am tempted to not buy one since it simply pollutes the enviroment and costs a shit ton of money. Buses only come hourly. So, options are limited. What are some good ways to avoid depression ? Vitamins, foods, activities, exercises mentally or emotionally ? I want to work on my purpose now to not be the person that I never wanted to be. I am making progress, depression is something relatively new for me.

Edited July 8, 2018 by ValiantSalvatore

[Just Do Nothing]

You come across as someone with a high amount of intellect. 

 

I would suggest learning about the ego. You appear to justify everything in life which must prevent you from mindfulness. 

 

I would recommend try to develop your spirituality or psyche as things are not always as you think but rather how you perceive everything. There are an infinite amount of perceptions and perception is reality. 

I would recommend that you  purchase “The Art of Happiness” by the Dalai Lama.

It is a great book and you can break it down into small chapters. 

Try not too set yourself too many expectations. Expecting to be always happy is too ambitious. I’m not implying that you are expecting to always be happy but you should accept your sadness also. 

Look into Samsara it’s about how people chase highs and lows rather than being content in the moment.

 

 

 

 

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Just Do Nothing I know what you mean it is just that the depression or sadness is so strong I can't bear it sometimes and I am praticing mindfulness for about 3 years now. I know cognitively and experientially that accepting what ever arises now is the best process to digest these feelings, regardless if it is happiness or sadness, anger, fear, worry, hatred, joy etc. 

I've read the book "The Art of Happiness" a couple of years ago when I started self-actualizing since buddhism interested me and was fasciniting for me as a teen. I do not remember the content I bought a couple of books on happiness from Leo's book list and read them all, I have a scientific / socital perspective on how to achieve external happiness, which still contributes to happiness and also the "socital" internal part about happiness which connects with spirituallity. I hate chasing highs and lows or not hate it is something that never fullfilled me and left me empty, so I am not chasing something like that at all. I have subtle addictions like the internet, music and the internet and music... I stopped gaming and watching tv and I stopped using social media since I was 16 because we read an article about how people steadily compare themselves when they use social media and that it is bad for one's health in english class. I use it sparsly FB, WhatsApp and I do not know what else counts as social media. I browse this forum from time to time ( spiral dynamics is very intriguing that is why I am here now often) and I use youtube and browse Quora that is about it. 

I would really like to change my nutrition, to see if that is the cause for depression or if it is really.. something which I can't do anything about because of chemical imbalances or some other thing. I can't really deal with pressure in uni because I feel like I belong to nowhere and I am steadily project to sterotypes and subtle forms of discrimination which drive me sucidal, people ascribe all kinds of ideas on to me that I began to question my identity since I was little any association with ones skin color or ethnic background is just stupid but hard to get rid off, especially when you do not pratice mindfulness or are NOT ! subject to any kind of discrimination, I do not like any kind of group associatve thinking and when you are mixed people try to claim you for both sides, so you move into a worldcentric perspective quite quickly, since you see the stupidity of associating yourself with your nationality and how much pain and struggle it causes to associate oneself with one nationallity or two it is simply a concept with content... , race is the same. I can't stand being and working in groups over 4 or 5 people they have so many unconscious assumptions and of course I could be the one who has them I am pondering this so often, yet people do not notice it when they go unconscious IT IS THE UNCONSCIOUS ! Mindfulness made me aware of a lot of bullshit that is inside of me and if I compulsively think about these things it is highly likely that other people think similar and I am even praticing mindfulness and 99.9% of the people are not, it is rare to meet someone who treats me with prejudice" and yes obviously there are people who are more aware and did not pratice mindfulness. I am so aware of facial gestures and gestures it drives me nuts how much people display what they are thinking simply by doing small things and that these patterns repeat themselves with people who are holding similar beliefs let's say racist or prejudice about people. It is ridiculous. 

I talked to a zen master once and he gave me the advice to build a structure that is what I want to do, yet I have difficulties building one, since my enviroment is not in favour of me enabling me to take care of my emotional needs of just being with some people and in general people here are just either way people from rural areas or stereotypical "foreigners". Sure, there are some who are ok, but somehow I feel I belong nowhere I can connect I see the way they think or act, but I never experienced it like them since people treat me differently. I am either treated as an individual which is fine or as someone who belongs to a group / ethnicity and these two notions mix themselves up. The people I can relate the most to are people who traveled or are mixed and saw some other cultures or who are extremely open-minded. They mostly treat my human ( green people ) , yet, potentially yellow people I meet are the most pleasant to deal with the amount of non-judgementalness is still insane. When green feels threatend they tend to attack you personally even if they know the things that they are thinking are subjective and also due to conditioning. 

There are so many thoughts about my past that I do not know what to do with them besides socializing and forgetting myself and feeling not that good afterwards or praticing mindfulness, journaling or calling a friend, lying in bed listening to eckhart tolle to the 1000end times.

I have a good idea what spirituallity is about and listened to a lot of talks and audiobooks from jiddu krishnamurti, allan watts, shinzen young, "ken wilber", and a couple of others that I highly want to focus more on practice, reading won't help as long as I do not pratice, yet I have difficulties putting things into action, since I am plagued by depression and thoughts about the past the habit part is making progress. It is difficult for me to constantly accept thoughts let go or label the typ of sensory experience and let it be. Of course I can do it but not 24/h a day. My whole upbrining is a disaster ( from a mental level and I feel emotionally neglected and disjointed from most people)  from my perspective it does not make sense to blame other people but , I can even say it does make sense since it releases some anti-stress hormone. But, that is like smoking a cigarette a short buzz and you feel good. I do drop in mindfulness into the day but it is not that structured at the moment I can do it now with household activities constantly, at least the practice not any state. I just would love to transcend and be that feeling of transcendence even when I imagine it is priceless, yet I also want to live in this world and therefore I am set out to suffer. But, right now I want to build that foundation /structure / system ! I would love to receive some exercise that one can do to relieve / prevent depression or some tips on nutrition, I am also ready to try anti-depressents, yet I can't tell it is so odd, I prefer not to and I am scared that during the time the anti-depresent first starts to work, in these initial phases (4-6 weeks), that I will not be able to handle uni and loose a semester. I am not really willing to do that since I wasted time already I'd rather try something alternative then to rely on some cruch. But, I am willing to do it if that does not work.

[Just Do Nothing]

Bro I’m really sorry to say this but you have so much to say it is insane. I actually can’t be bothered to read your walls of text (I am trying to be cruel to be kind)

 

You really need to find some clarity like I say things are only as you perceive.

What you think is what project out to the universe and I don’t think you’re thinking like the person you want to be.

As you have so much to say have you thought about counselling? It’s not because there is anything wrong with you but you have a lot to say and the purpose of counselling is mainly to vent out your frustrations which you seem to have a lot of.

Unfortunately I find my peace here by being a lazy asshole that can’t be bothered to analyse all your reply. 

 

Always remember keep things simple. Basic is purity. 

 

 

Edited July 9, 2018 by Just Do Nothing

[Just Do Nothing]

 

 

Try this in regards to dieting. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

@John Lula @Just Do Nothing This is interesting. Thanks! I appreciate it.

I am going to my first retreat this year in a zen monastery looking forward ! 

[Charlotte]

@Just Do Nothing All I'm going to say is well done! Well done for doing all you do with sometimes feeling the way you do ??

[Guest Quanty]

Tap into Breath with focused attention above all, make this a life priority. The Breath will teach you, there is no greater master or technique than this. 

[S33K3R]

One thing I found that I was not able to fully get a hold of my depression until I realized something. I was doing the mindful meditations, I was doing the breath work. I would still get depressed. Mostly because I was failing to recognize that between my mindfulness moments which was most of the time. I have been practicing for over ten years. But depression still slipped in because I was obsessing over thoughts I have no control over. 

 

I tend to get very focused when I see what I label as negative. I realized that by refusing to participate in thoughts for longer than a few moments that the depression and anxiety cant really build. I have been testing this for weeks now and everything seems to be working great. I even got screwed over by a landscaper on purpose to see if that would trigger depression. Nope I am fully focused and confident. My energy levels are very high because I am no longer fighting my consciousness for awareness anymore. You see I found out that mindfulness is good, but its also exhausting. I am not interested in enlightenment. I am interested in finding a balance I am happy with. This seems to be much closer to my goal than I have ever been. Watch your mind for a day. Or just pay attention when you see that depression creeping in. What thoughts are you having at that time? are you obsessing about them? why? is it logical to do so? Is there something you can do to fix the obsession? If not why obsess? It weakens your awareness to obsess over something you cannot control. 

 

[ValiantSalvatore]

@S33K3R I appreciate the advice. I can understand what you mean that I watch my thoughts and the content of my thoughts. For me it is more of an emotional component that I am unable to reconcile. I am also doing a mindfulness pratice it helps a lot both with thoughts and emotions.

For me thoughts that put me down are. Why do people treat me this way ? Or why are people so toxic and do not work on themselves, or sublte discrimination, why is the world so fucked , why does nobody care ? Why do I care etc. 

It helps a lot to dissociate my self from these thoughts with a mindfulness pratice. 

Edited July 10, 2018 by ValiantSalvatore

[Talinn]

On 7/8/2018 at 0:16 PM, ValiantSalvatore said:

The region here is quite ethnocentric/blue

Move.

Such an action will reset the brain (partially).

Mental illness in general is tied to location more than most people think.

 

Edit: If you are severely or moderately depressed I wouldn't try such a move, but if you think you can handle it and/or that you could have a good support system, it could be very worthwhile.

Edited July 11, 2018 by Talinn

[pluto]

Travel and spend more time in nature.

[EldonFrami]

Exercise regularly and make it a habit because this is the best way to maintain the fitness level that is most effective in preventing depression, reduce alcohol and drug and the best way is meditation which can reduce depression.