i think i finally get it, will make you want to leave your friends and family

[rothko]

So I finally think I've come to the realization, or at least, stronger understanding to what it means, when you increase your consciousness so much, or it becomes such a priority, you will want to leave your friends and family.

The hardest thing I find right now, in my life is that I am always excited about these new things i am discovering and ultimately i feel compelled to share these things with the ones i feel close too, especially when a conversation thread makes an opening for it.  But it has ended is so many unexpected pains where the person will react in such a negative way, and not even see it, leaving me suffering greatly.  Thank god Leo posted the ego backlash, video so now I actually have a better perspective on this.

 

But damn! does it really get any better, like will I be able to interact in the real world and be true enough to myself?  like my plan going forward is to move out of my room mate situation, on my own, and really peruse this stuff hardcore again like I did in December(when i lived on my own).  But does it really get any easier when I go back into the real world? will my consciousness grow, eventually, that I will be able to catch myself, or carry myself in a conversation where I can become more aware of how my consciousness, and what i say to others might have too much ego backlash? or will i maybe not take the pain so personal?

 

[Key Elements]

These quotes make sense to me. The second one, you got to express it in your life purpose so that those who are interested will hear you and incorporate it into their lives. 

[Mirror of Confusion]

I don't know if it will help you but I think the picture below is a good reminder. There can be war around you. The world is in chaos, everyone is fighting and people hate eachother. But you can stay calm and sit in the middle of the Lotus flower without being withdrawn.

I also understand you. My situation is quite similar. I also wanna walk away and persue conscioussness work.

The question is: Is it following your intuition or is it fleeing the situation?

Edited May 25, 2018 by Mirror of Confusion

[Guest Quanty]

It will not get easy with the world unless when around common folk you go with the flow and act your things out.

Average people will never understand an enlightened human being unless one is financially successful or people pleasing. 

 

But the awakened beings will tend to be natural and thankful of what they have; in most cases and scenarios people will take you for granted because they sense in the awakened one the simplicity in vibration as a child, so in consequence, one will encounter bullies, and generally will attract braggers and opposite counter vibrations. 

[rothko]

Thanks for the replies guys!  it def helps me think things through more clearly.

 

@Mirror of Confusion def true and i try this as much as i can.

Im fairly convinced its intuition. But at the same time 7 months ago i felt the same about moving here(i was mostly ego driven through excitement of change)   but no, I def know its intuition, this time(i need a sanctuary where i can be free to be me, and not let anyone else effect me, Joseph Campbell style).  no matter how much i try to observe the thoughts of getting out, and focus on my consciousness work the thoughts come back way more intensely and powerful than negative monkey mind could ever do.

@Quanty Im pretty decent around common folk(probably my ego speaking partly). I know i have a long ways to go still, but my room mate has turned me into his enemy and its basically just his monkey mind, getting the worst of him seeing things as he is, heavily unconscious. he cant even be simply happy for me, he instantly becomes jealous and from there alot of negative energies come. which is crazy cause in actual truth he has much more than i do as far as wealth and assets and all that(which is a source of jealousy)..... I've done countless loving kindness meditations towards him and myself, and actually overcame so much, in the short terms, but of course, 2 steps forward, 1 step back, and i often trick myself into thinking hes changed and when i get that unexpected turn of, energy shit just kills me.  tried helping him in countless selfless ways but it still keeps coming at me(although i have learned a lot about how when i try to do thing selflessly, i actually am not, actually doing them completely selflessly).

 

 But yeah my goals aren't being satisfied here.  Maybe they would be better somewhere else, maybe that's just my ego, but honestly i need to get into monk mode here.  I have done it before, and i loved it before, and ultimately i think all this decision stems from that.  My only goals are  learning about music, learning about important stuff in life through books, like leo's list, and increasing consciousness, mostly through yoga and meditation, and soon psychs.

 

I don't feel myself and i am holding back too much trying to please my room mate, which makes that ego backlash from him that much more painful(clearly i need a better approach)...  I know i need to stop letting it effect me, and try my best.  but it blows my mind how strong these thoughts come sometimes.  even if i have observed and quieted them with yoga and meditation they still have a strong effect. 

 

Im fairly convinced its intuition. But at the same time 7 months ago i felt the same about moving here   but no i def know its intuition.  no matter how much i try to observe the thoughts and focus on my consciousness work the thoughts come back way more intensely and powerful than negative monkey mind could ever do.

Edited May 26, 2018 by rothko

[NoSelfSelf]

That is still ego runing a show,you will know when you come to realization that there is nothing outside of yourself you will look at your parents or tshirt and see connection/that you are your parents and tshirt

[rothko]

@NoSelfSelf hells ya! i cant wait for that day!

 

I was thinking that's how it works.  i guess ego will always exist now matter what unless Nirvikalpa samādhi is fully achieved and the ego is dissolved in the infinite void right?

 

are you close to this, or have u experienced major ego death? or already there? i would love to hear your top tips if you have them.

[NoSelfSelf]

@rothko how long are you working on this ? Lets just say im dead

[rothko]

@NoSelfSelf Nice! really, full on dead?  So the two locks/knots in your root? mohksha?  or full enlightenment?  every chakra has been fully awakened(I thought this was infinitely expandable) and your like one with the infinite consciousness always?

 

Well I would say I have fully awakened to the concept of consciousness for like 8 months, But I have been doing yoga, fasting and working out for a long time.  I think my yoga practice has been going for like 5 years, specifically the recent year, much more hardcore.  So I think that's helped a lot.

 

The past 8 months I have been really opening the doors to what is possible with yoga, meditation and I have really started doing shatkarma's, especially the jula/sutra neti seems to be huge for me.  Also I have learned alot about what consciousnesses really is, and the importance of living in the moment doing whatever it is I do.

 

Before i moved in with my room mate i was doing meditation everyday for like 5 hours a day with yoga every second day or so. also doing fasting.  i have been doing lot of intermittent fasting, and multiday, up to 5 days water fasting, over the last 16 months too(i was doing this before i discovered the concept of consciousnesses, I think it lead me to understanding consciousness)

 

anyways i feel like I'm just listing off stuff that is my ego trying to attatch itself to things in the past. But I am just trying to tell u the stuff i have found most helpful. so hopefully u can give me my next best tips.

 

 

[Solace]

When you are in a conversation with someone do you want them to endlessly talk about say accounting, or do you want them to take a greater interest in you?

Tgats what you’re doing to your family, you are basically talking about something as uninteresting and unrelatble as accounting, so of course it’s not going to end well. Wanting to be with like minded people is a natural stage of ascension that’s why you are here, but it is not the solution. 

The solution is learining to talk to normal people in the most loving way by taking a greater interest in their lives, as that is what you would want for yourself.

Also there is nobody more superior, just because you are spiritual doesn’t mean another’s persons interest in accounting is lesser than in any way. Everyone is on a spiritual journey anyway whether they know it or not. All of the intense feelings they feel is the highest spiritual growth.

Edited May 27, 2018 by Solace

[Guest Quanty]

Oneness is tricky because it is not the ultimate reality of the universe, not even Love. 

[rothko]

This is absolutely the truth! I actually had this exact same thought earlier today.  and its probably one of my biggest weaknesses. I always run into this problem, over and over again..... or don't catch myself even doing it, until its too late.  and at the end of the day i guess its my throat chakra being out of balance.  It actually makes a ton of sense considering i was smoking the last week.  fuck i know in theory that's how the universe works. but shit it is so clear now, how i have been not observing this log in my own eye.( Great Insight!)...  now i think that will really help motivate me to quit smoking for good.  I have for sure made progress at being a better listener. but still have a long way to go.  Shoulder stands and being a better listener, and less of a verbal diarrhea projector.... 

 

I was thinking i should just go solo cause i can not accidentally do these things and get all negatively effected by them.  And hopefully take my yoga and meditation practice to the next level, without that negative influence factoring into my momentum. but this is for sure the truth, if i can accept this as something i need to be more conscious of, i will def do that too.

[NoSelfSelf]

@rothko if you are fully awakened you dont need my tips