Self-Actualization?

[Tearos]

What does it mean to the best version of oneself? Who is it to decide that that is best? Is it when we live knowing there is no "I" or "me" - and who knows this? Is it something else? How can one know?

Sorry for newbie questions.

Thanks for all answers,
Tearos/Fred

[InfinitePotential]

All questions one must ask oneself. 

Here's Maslows take on it though:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-actualization#Maslow's_characteristics_of_self-actualizers

(I'm hoping that link goes straight to the Maslow's characteristics of self actualizers section)

[Leo Gura]

 

[KMB4222]

An interesting aspect of being the best version of yourself is that it might not be a static image or ideal that you can create in your mind. As long as you are always learning, practicing, and growing, the best version of yourself might actually be the closest to what you are right now. I don't mean this in the sense that you are how you are and that's that, no need to change or improve. I mean that the process itself is the mechanism to creating the best you. You can't be anything other than what you are in that specific moment, but you can set intentions and work towards being a better you in the next moment. 

[Tearos]

@InfinitePotential @Leo Gura

What if someone disagrees with Maslow's image of the better version of oneself?

[Tearos]

@KMB4222

Interesting. So you mean, in your explanation, that the better version of oneself could be someone who just has the mindset of always wanting to learn, practice, and grow while one already has established an acceptance for oneself?

 

[trevorwgoodchild]

Being the best version of yourself is predicated on actually knowing you already are. Can you answer the question, "Who am I?" with complete honesty? That's the first step, actually getting to know who you already are. Being honest about your weaknesses and strengths. Once you can have an honest conversation about who you are at this current place in life, then you can reflect, How can I augment, or improve the qualities I already have? Where can I use some improvement, and what am I already good at that I, with a little elbow grease can get better at? When you start on this journey, and begin to develop who you are, creating that inner momentum, then the outside world reflects this, and life starts to improve. All simply because you had a gut check with yourself, and are trying harder to be better. Not necessarily through force, but more like, advancing your understanding of yourself and where you can develop yourself more. Make sense? 

[Tearos]

@trevorwgoodchild

Awesome!

Thanks, bud

[eskwire]

1 hour ago, Tearos said:

@InfinitePotential @Leo Gura

What if someone disagrees with Maslow's image of the better version of oneself?

Then they can work and live in that way. Whatever. They just might be disagreeing with something they know nothing of. 

Maslow's not setting forth an image. He makes assertions about psychological mechanisms. The unfolding of those mechanisms is the process of self-actualization. Maslow did not draw a picture of the perfect person for people to mimic.

Have you read any Maslow or are you just asking deconstructionist questions? 

[Tearos]

@eskwire

I am simply ignorant, that's why I ask questions

[InfinitePotential]

11 hours ago, Tearos said:

@InfinitePotential @Leo Gura

What if someone disagrees with Maslow's image of the better version of oneself?

I would try to hear them out and consider what they have to say! See how it resonates with you. Be wary of superficiality though. Maslow was pretty thorough. 

I'm sure we can come up with more angles to look at it, more qualities of a self-actualized person. One that comes to mind for me is Lao Tzu's description that "the perfect person breathes as if they are not breathing", which I have found to be very true. 

[KMB4222]

16 hours ago, Tearos said:

@KMB4222

Interesting. So you mean, in your explanation, that the better version of oneself could be someone who just has the mindset of always wanting to learn, practice, and grow while one already has established an acceptance for oneself?

 

Exactly!

Sort of like accepting that you are taking action.

[Forestluv]

On 4/4/2018 at 5:41 PM, Tearos said:

What does it mean to the best version of oneself?

That’s like asking: “What is the best version of sex”? It’s totally relative. 

We are socially conditioned for what is “best”. E.g. honest, genuine, hard-working, loving, generous, adventurous etc.

IMO, this causes a lot of suffering for the self. Social conditioning portrays images of “good” into our mind.  An image of best that is unattainable, because it doesn’t exist. We suffer as we continually fall short of that best image. “I’m just not good enough. I know I’m not perfect. . . “

Maslow was such a lightweight. He was a staunch supporter of free will for goodness sake. 

[student]

Only you know what it means. Only you know what you want, why you should do it. Many people don't do it, they live life and they are "happy". So why are you here? You must have a reason, a vision, a dream, an aspiration. What is it? Only you know the answer. Maybe at first there is just a weak motivation, a weak cause/wish for why are you here, but as you are working on that wish, as you are concomitantly growing yourself, your vision will start to grow too, because everything is unforeseeable, you are unforeseeable. Maybe you have a weak, egotistic wish, but that doesn't matter, because it is the "logical" course of things. The bigger picture will come only when the individual demonstrates its ambition.

Edited April 6, 2018 by student

[eskwire]

On 4/5/2018 at 3:26 AM, Tearos said:

@eskwire

I am simply ignorant, that's why I ask questions

Read first, ask questions later. You have no material to work with while you are contemplating this.

People on this forum have ideas about relativism etc etc and that's fine, so you are going to get a lot of "be whatever, everything is fine" answers, which is also fine. I do, however, recommend that you study some psychology if you want to understand yourself and others. 

[Tearos]

@eskwire

Thanks!

Yeah, I have done my research, but there are always questions that don't get answered though.

[Nahm]

@Tearos Like the word consciousness is used for the human experience, and for the infinite, the term self actualization gets used to imply a descriptive set of skills & milestones/accomplishments in development leading to a self sustained mental equanimity, and it also is used to describe the existential realization of what the self actually is. Either one will retained help with the other, until there is no other.