Natasha

Enlightenment Jokes Here

2,176 posts in this topic

In Zen there is a saying "A flute with no holes is not a flute.......... a donut with no hole is a Danish"

Edited by cetus56

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Disciple: Master, please don't leave us.

Dying master: Leave you? Where could I go?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I must have become enlightened at a very early age. I can't remember how long ago it was that I first started saying, "I didn't do it ! "

Edited by cetus56

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

mindblower-zen-pants-ernie-resendes.jpg


The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Morpheus (The Matrix)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is love?

The total absence of fear, said the Master.

What is it we fear?

Love, said the Master.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Pinocchio said:

 

 

Haha he hit a nail on the head with this one  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Toby said:

 

 

Thank you for the laugh xD

Edited by Natasha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stivers-5-5-03-Buddha-patch-720636.jpg


The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Morpheus (The Matrix)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What I'm Doing moz-screenshot-63 WQ.jpg


The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Morpheus (The Matrix)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/8/2016 at 2:01 PM, abrakamowse said:

HOW ENLIGHTENED ARE YOU?

IF....

If you can live without caffeine,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him or her,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender preference, or politics,

--Then you have almost reached the same level of spiritual development as your dog!

Max agrees ^_^

301546_292391880786634_1153407333_n.jpg.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Natasha  hahahaha... pretty doggie.

 

Is it yours?


The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Morpheus (The Matrix)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Natasha said:

Yes, I'm his person :D

hahahaha... that's cool.

:-)


The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Morpheus (The Matrix)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a programmer so I prefer this one :D

Master Foo and the Ten Thousand Lines

Master Foo once said to a visiting programmer: “There is more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C.”

The programmer, who was very proud of his mastery of C, said: “How can this be? C is the language in which the very kernel of Unix is implemented!”

Master Foo replied: “That is so. Nevertheless, there is more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C.”

The programmer grew distressed. “But through the C language we experience the enlightenment of the Patriarch Ritchie! We become as one with the operating system and the machine, reaping matchless performance!”

Master Foo replied: “All that you say is true. But there is still more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C.”

The programmer scoffed at Master Foo and rose to depart. But Master Foo nodded to his student Nubi, who wrote a line of shell script on a nearby whiteboard, and said: “Master programmer, consider this pipeline. Implemented in pure C, would it not span ten thousand lines?”

The programmer muttered through his beard, contemplating what Nubi had written. Finally he agreed that it was so.

“And how many hours would you require to implement and debug that C program?” asked Nubi.

“Many,” admitted the visiting programmer. “But only a fool would spend the time to do that when so many more worthy tasks await him.”

“And who better understands the Unix-nature?” Master Foo asked. “Is it he who writes the ten thousand lines, or he who, perceiving the emptiness of the task, gains merit by not coding?”

Upon hearing this, the programmer was enlightened.


"There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<insert enlightenment joke here> </joke>


The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Morpheus (The Matrix)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Pinocchio said:

#include <stdio.h>

 

typedef int nondual;

#define __HOME__ ((nondual)NULL)

 

nondual mind(int argchit, char *argchat) {

   void* space = argchat[argchit];

   printf("Goodbye World!\n");

   return __HOME__;

}

 

That was quite a tongue twister to read :P 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now