Enlightenment Jokes Here

[cetus]

In Zen there is a saying "A flute with no holes is not a flute.......... a donut with no hole is a Danish"

Edited March 12, 2016 by cetus56

[Natasha]

Disciple: Master, please don't leave us.

Dying master: Leave you? Where could I go?

[Dhana Choko]

 

 

[Natasha]

@Dhana Choko I love his vids, hilarious 

[cetus]

I must have become enlightened at a very early age. I can't remember how long ago it was that I first started saying, "I didn't do it ! "

Edited March 13, 2016 by cetus56

[Primeval]

[abrakamowse]

[Natasha]

What is love?

The total absence of fear, said the Master.

What is it we fear?

Love, said the Master.

[Toby]

 

 

[Natasha]

4 hours ago, Pinocchio said:

 

 

Haha he hit a nail on the head with this one  

[Natasha]

4 hours ago, Toby said:

 

 

Thank you for the laugh 

Edited March 22, 2016 by Natasha

[abrakamowse]

[abrakamowse]

[Natasha]

On 3/8/2016 at 2:01 PM, abrakamowse said:

HOW ENLIGHTENED ARE YOU?

IF....

If you can live without caffeine,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him or her,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender preference, or politics,

--Then you have almost reached the same level of spiritual development as your dog!

Max agrees 

[abrakamowse]

@Natasha  hahahaha... pretty doggie.

 

Is it yours?

[Natasha]

Yes, I'm his person 

[abrakamowse]

10 hours ago, Natasha said:

Yes, I'm his person 

hahahaha... that's cool.

:-)

[Joyboy]

I'm a programmer so I prefer this one

Master Foo and the Ten Thousand Lines

Master Foo once said to a visiting programmer: “There is more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C.”

The programmer, who was very proud of his mastery of C, said: “How can this be? C is the language in which the very kernel of Unix is implemented!”

Master Foo replied: “That is so. Nevertheless, there is more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C.”

The programmer grew distressed. “But through the C language we experience the enlightenment of the Patriarch Ritchie! We become as one with the operating system and the machine, reaping matchless performance!”

Master Foo replied: “All that you say is true. But there is still more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C.”

The programmer scoffed at Master Foo and rose to depart. But Master Foo nodded to his student Nubi, who wrote a line of shell script on a nearby whiteboard, and said: “Master programmer, consider this pipeline. Implemented in pure C, would it not span ten thousand lines?”

The programmer muttered through his beard, contemplating what Nubi had written. Finally he agreed that it was so.

“And how many hours would you require to implement and debug that C program?” asked Nubi.

“Many,” admitted the visiting programmer. “But only a fool would spend the time to do that when so many more worthy tasks await him.”

“And who better understands the Unix-nature?” Master Foo asked. “Is it he who writes the ten thousand lines, or he who, perceiving the emptiness of the task, gains merit by not coding?”

Upon hearing this, the programmer was enlightened.

[abrakamowse]

<insert enlightenment joke here> </joke>

[Natasha]

5 hours ago, Pinocchio said:

#include <stdio.h>

 

typedef int nondual;

#define __HOME__ ((nondual)NULL)

 

nondual mind(int argchit, char *argchat) {

   void* space = argchat[argchit];

   printf("Goodbye World!\n");

   return __HOME__;

}

 

That was quite a tongue twister to read