Men: How do you feel & react when you see women cry?

[Carl-Richard]

38 minutes ago, Jirh said:

I am suggesting that every emotional reaction has two components: thinking and feeling, but feeling comes first for women, and thinking first for men.

You mean "comes first" as in temporally? EEG Event-Related Potential (ERP) research disproves this. Just the way the brain is structured disproves this. The cortex receives signals later than the limbic system in reaction to stimuli. The cascade is sensory stimulus -> limbic -> cortex.

Men are more likely to suppress emotional responses right after they happen (in the course of milliseconds); it just happens so fast and it's usually habitual (and ignoring or desensitizing that millisecond experience itself can also be habitual) so they might simply be completely unaware of it.

And of course, the repression doesn't really remove the emotion as much as it pushes it to the side. The signal still reached the cortex, it was just diverted and not given the right to flow in a particular way. And it leaves a lasting physiological arousal which now is more likely to be interpreted as anger (especially if the emotion occurred in a situation where you feel compelled to externalize some of the cause; "something happened and now I feel this arousal, I didn't like very much what happened and this thing out here was the cause and it must be dealt with, and now I'm angry". It's a very caveman type of circuitry).

Edited 21 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Carl-Richard killer contribution 

[yetineti]

@Carl-Richard

Perfecto.

[Carl-Richard]

8 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Carl-Richard killer contribution 

Killer >:) You give me that word after priming words like "anger". Mmmm.

Edited 21 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Killer >:) You give me that word after priming words like "anger". Mmmm >:)

It was a co-creation' codependent arising! 

I must admit, I cycled through a few words prior to settling on "killer". 

Mostly because you "killed" the previous point. 

Like a savage. Fucken caveman style. Fatality.

Brutal.

Carnage.

Merciless.

Massacre.

Okay I should stop now.

FaTAliTY!

hue hue hue 

 

[Jirh]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

It is SUCH a good question and often has me stumped. Often what I detect first depends more on where I place my awareness. This really became evident to me deep into a good routine meditation process.

Because for me? I honestly have a lot of trouble being able to even make a clean distinction between a feeling and a thought. I rest often with feelings being experienced coupled with a sensation, and thoughts less so.

I view feelings and thoughts as a codependent arising in my consciousness. 

For me, the distinction is very obvious. Thoughts are specific words that appear inside my bubble of experience. Feelings are ambiguous energies that are experienced in different parts of the body.

Quote

My default is a thought. Less a feeling. In fact I often struggle with felt empathy. My brand of empathy is intellectual.

According to your reaction to crying, I don't think this is accurate.

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Mostly because you "killed" the previous point. 

Actually, he didn't.

What he said doesn't really mean anything, because in practice that sequence only applies to simple immediate survival threats, but complex social cues don't work that way.

The limbic system is not responsible for conscious interpretation or processing complex context. It is responsible for memory and motivation and other low level functions, but seeing another person crying doesn't necessarily trigger the limbic system. In fact, it rarely does, especially without context.

Body language signals don't typically pass by the limbic system like say a loud sound like a gun fire. The meaning of body language is often ambiguous and requires conscious interpretation. The brain usually has to evaluate the context in the cortex first before the limbic system even knows whether to react with distress, empathy, or indifference. Without cortical interpretation, the stimulus lacks the social meaning required to trigger that emotional cascade in the first place.

So no point was made except that kneejerk reactions are felt before they're consciously evaluated, which is like common sense.

Edited 20 hours ago by Jirh

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Jirh it makes it all less certain. 

That's killing the knowing for me.

Also I'd appreciate you stop telling me what I think or feel. Especially through a generalised gender based lens. You may not mean it this way, but the rhetoric you use is received as if you are attempting to explain me without really relating.

Edited 20 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Jirh]

3 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Jirh it makes it all less certain. 

Not for me. I am still 100% sure that I think first, feel second.

Quote

Also I'd appreciate you stop telling me what I think or feel. Especially through a generalised gender based lens. 

Fine.

But keep in mind that you are the one who questioned my sequence first. I stated that that's how it is for me and you pushed back. It's only fair that I did the same.

Edited 20 hours ago by Jirh

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Not for me. I am still 100% sure that I think first, feel second.

Fine.

But keep in mind that you are the one who questioned my sequence first. I stated that that's how it is for me and you pushed back. It's only fair that I did the same.

I apologise if you felt I tried to mechanistically explain away your lived experience. My aim was to explore possible alternatives, not tell you how you are 🙏🏻

Edited 19 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Jirh]

@Natasha Tori Maru

No problemo. I appreciate the dialogue.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Jirh same (⁠⊃⁠｡⁠•́⁠‿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)⁠⊃

[Schizophonia]

18 hours ago, AION said:

What if she had nothing on

I'm making her a cup of tea of course, it's a difficult situation.

16 hours ago, meta_male said:

It depends on who it is.

I hope it's not your mom

[Monster Energy]

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Humans are children.

And yet, children are more conscious than the average adult. Funny how growing up doesn’t necessarily mean waking up.

 

 

[meta_male]

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

I hope it's not your mom

If it was I would cry.

[Monster Energy]

2 minutes ago, meta_male said:

If it was I would cry.

Happy tears 

[meta_male]

@Monster Energy She doesn't have that monster type of energy.

[yetineti]

@meta_male @Monster Energy @Schizophonia

You guys have been doing this same juvenile routine for ages. It’s not particularly clever, funny, or original. It’s just predictable and tiresome.

And before the inevitable “lighten up” response, I have nothing against humor. I just don’t think repeating the same adolescent bullshit every time someone tries to have a conversation is much of a personality.

[Monster Energy]

Just now, yetineti said:

@meta_male @Monster Energy @Schizophonia

You guys have been doing this same juvenile routine for ages. It’s not particularly clever, funny, or original. It’s just predictable and tiresome.

And before the inevitable “lighten up” response, I have nothing against humor. I just don’t think repeating the same adolescent bullshit every time someone tries to have a conversation is much of a personality.

You’re right, how does we solve this problem?

[yetineti]

@Monster Energy

Bite your tongue.

[Monster Energy]

Just now, yetineti said:

@Monster Energy

Bite your tongue.

That’s sounds inappropriate, very sexual if you ask me