after 100 approaches I still have approach anxiety

[Salvijus]

I would offer a different perspective for a change. 

It's possible that a healthy part of your soul is saying: "bro this is ridiculous, why are you doing this, this is not the way" and you're interpreting this resistence as anxiety when in truth this resistence is actually a good sign that shows you're not completely bonkers yet.

Just my 2cents. It's okay to feel uneasy when you're about to do something ridiculous. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Salvijus

[Zenterus]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

I would offer a different perspective for a change. 

It's possible that a healthy part of your soul is saying: "bro this is ridiculous, why are you doing this, this is not the way" and you're interpreting this resistence as anxiety when in truth this resistence is actually a good sign that shows you're not completely bonkers yet.

Just my 2cents. It's okay to feel uneasy when you're about to do something ridiculous. 

Nah dude. Approaching strangers is akin to venturing into the unknown. No matter how many times you do it, you dont know how the other person will react. There's also the social pressure aspect where people might see you do it and there's a certain kind of sexual shame that you feel as a consequence because you're openly exposing your desires to the world, while also potentially exposing yourself to be rejected publically which can feel a little embarrassing. 

This never goes away.

I still get approach anxiety after 10 years of active pickup experience.

@Olaf Instead of viewing it as you needing to do 3 perfect approaches, just focus on engaging in the right behaviours no matter how the girl reacts. Speak loud, hold eye contact, square up, be confident and intentional. As long as you do that, the approach counts, no matter how the girl reacts. 

Now, if she happens to react positively, try to see how far you can push the interaction.

I like to use a point system, personally.

An approach counts as 1 point, a longer interaction as 2 and a longer interaction that I got an instagram or number from counts as 3.

So, when you go out, you're aiming to get 3 points. If you just do 3 approaches, that satisfies it. But if you have a longer interaction without closing, which counts for 2, then all you have to do is one more solid approach and you won. Now if you close that one longer interaction then you're free to go home, but if you decide to continue approaching, you're doing so out of inspiration rather than for an outcome.

This mentality also "gamifies" the game and takes the seriousness and brutality out of it.

Edited 3 hours ago by Zenterus

[Olaf]

@Zenterus thank you man, I appreciate your advice.

[Salvijus]

46 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

Approaching strangers is akin to venturing into the unknown. No matter how many times you do it, you dont know how the other person will react. There's also the social pressure aspect where people might see you do it and there's a certain kind of sexual shame that you feel as a consequence because you're openly exposing your desires to the world, while also potentially exposing yourself to be rejected publically which can feel a little embarrassing. 

You can become comfortable with the unknown. You can become comfortable with being vulnerable. You can become comfortable with being public and cringe. You can become comfortable with rejection. But there is a sane part of you that will never become comfortable with doing something foolish unless you become completely disconnected from reality. That could explain the "anxiety" (which is something else actually) even after 10 years of milions of approaches. 

Just a theory tho. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Salvijus