Waking up at night with no memories

[systematic_chaos]

Sometimes I wake up at night and for a moment I have no memories, I don't know anything, who I am, where I am there is just an awareness and an experience of being awake then I remember who I am and I'm absolutely terrified that I just ceased to exist. This makes me truly fear death.

Has anyone else experienced this?

[Yimpa]

Yes, last night in fact. 

[systematic_chaos]

@Yimpa Do you find it scary? Happens to me all the time.

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, systematic_chaos said:

@Yimpa Do you find it scary? Happens to me all the time.

It did in the beginning. But I don’t give up and kept exposing myself more and more to it. I have received lots of support from psychedelics and professionals who have also been on this path.

I also just got done finishing the What is Death? episode as a refresher. That helped me see what Death is more clearly

 

[systematic_chaos]

@Yimpa It's nice to know that it can get better. I should add that I am only scared in that moment it's not something that haunts me during the day time. When it happens thought it's not like "oh I thought I was someone else but it was a dream haha" it's like shit there is NOTHING and it's terrifying but it's so short there is no time to figure it out.

I have watched that video before, I'll have to give it another go it's been a while. Maybe it's a blessing to periodically experience death unprompted.

[Yimpa]

@systematic_chaos Yes. Solipsism with profound love is TRUE.

I cannot wait for you to discover that it is so amazing

Edited 23 hours ago by Yimpa

[Yimpa]

he gets a lot right and a lot wrong so discern what is real and what is bs

Edited 23 hours ago by Yimpa

[LordFall]

Yes it happened to me all the time a few years ago. Not sure if it had to do with psychedelics I took around that time but I would wake up not remembering who I was for a full 30-60 seconds and have to piece together my identity with clues from the room. After a few times I would remember that this had happened before and think, 'Well, how did I make sense of it last time?'

It's a very interesting state of being, it showed me glimpses of what pure consciousness without memories feels like. It's definitely interesting how the psyche comes back from that. I had to piece together that I was in a room, where might this room be... I guess I had a room like this many years ago but that was in Calgary now I am in Toronto and then I remembered who I was and what kind of responsibilities were waiting for me.

I think that's the basics of existence really, what is the next force that you will have to answer to. For me it was a work shift since like most biological forms I need to eat!

Interesting to think about what would we would to if there were no obligations and we were just an unbound consciousness? 

Edited 21 hours ago by LordFall

[Yimpa]

https://www.actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-325

[James123]

5 hours ago, systematic_chaos said:

Sometimes I wake up at night and for a moment I have no memories, I don't know anything, who I am, where I am there is just an awareness and an experience of being awake then I remember who I am and I'm absolutely terrified that I just ceased to exist. This makes me truly fear death.

Has anyone else experienced this?

In that moment if you dont know what even experience is, completely not knowing, as deep sleep or before physical birth, that’s what You really are is.

[Someone here]

13 hours ago, systematic_chaos said:

Sometimes I wake up at night and for a moment I have no memories, I don't know anything, who I am, where I am there is just an awareness and an experience of being awake then I remember who I am and I'm absolutely terrified that I just ceased to exist. This makes me truly fear death.

Has anyone else experienced this?

the temporary absence of memory, thoughts, and personal identity does not necessarily mean that the you ceased to exist. The question is not “Did I stop existing when I had no memories?” but “What is the I that remains through waking, dreaming, and deep sleep?” 
you exist when you are awake . You exist in your dreams. You exist when you’re in deep sleep because you can workout the absence of memory and all sensory experience upon waking . 
deep sleep is not absence of existence. It’s a modulation of existence which can be called pure absolute existence. and as James said it’s your true nature and essence. You can accept it or reject it . If you reject it , it’s scary . If you accept it , it’s peaceful.

[Dazgwny]

Once I woke up and didn’t think I knew nothing, I just think I wasn’t thinking at all, I don’t know, which makes sense that I don’t know I guess. But what did happen is that about a second after I opened my eyes, I witnessed my own mind reassemble itself, the ego if you will. It felt like a felled building, but in rewind, like if you watched a building crumble, then pressed rewind you would see it reassemble. Everything, in what seemed like a split second, whoosh, memories, the ideas of knowing where I was, when it was, you name it, the lot. And the inner sound was like that of just letting the pages of a book flick through your fingers, at super speed. 
It was superb, I loved it. I knew what it was as I’d experienced my ego reconstruct after awakening on psychedelics. It was very similar. I just lay there for 10 minutes thinking about it, and laughing to myself how I’d just woke up and basically unconsciously made all this shit up again as I woke to just crack on with the day and my life. If it didn’t happen, I’d just have been lay there, with no explanation to anything, just the scene, a bit like during some awakenings, but it happened so quick that didn’t happen. But I did catch it in action, and it was pretty cool to say the least