systematic_chaos

It's certainly something I had heard of before but it feels different to have felt it in action! Would have been difficult without psychedelics I think.

Thanks! That's a much more concise way of putting it.

@Yimpa It's nice to know that it can get better. I should add that I am only scared in that moment it's not something that haunts me during the day time. When it happens thought it's not like "oh I thought I was someone else but it was a dream haha" it's like shit there is NOTHING and it's terrifying but it's so short there is no time to figure it out. I have watched that video before, I'll have to give it another go it's been a while. Maybe it's a blessing to periodically experience death unprompted.

@Yimpa Do you find it scary? Happens to me all the time.

Sometimes I wake up at night and for a moment I have no memories, I don't know anything, who I am, where I am there is just an awareness and an experience of being awake then I remember who I am and I'm absolutely terrified that I just ceased to exist. This makes me truly fear death. Has anyone else experienced this?

I took 15mg of 2CB insufflated yesterday morning very early in the morning. I have a few insights which I will share here along with other thoughts. Overall my trip was peaceful and surprisingly mind bending given what I read about 2CB. My past (numerous) experiences with LSD and MDMA led me to believe that deep is always difficult but this was my first time experiencing a kind of mild and peaceful ego dissolution. The Trip: General Insights: Nothing has any meaning without a purpose or utility (which are both constructions of ego): I made multiple attempts to understand the time of day in a state of low ego and failed because without a purpose or a survival reason time is completely meaningless. True meaninglessness is paradoxically infinitely more meaningful than any invented meaning. Anyone saying "life is meaningless" actually does believe life has a meaning it's just the meaning they are thinking of is very bleak. If they experienced actual lack of any meaning they would instantly be cured of their depression! The process of integration is not just getting crystalized insights, it is also about a practice of re-connecting with God/Oneness/Unity in order to guide the continuous process of discovery. All crystalized insights can bent to the will of the ego, symbolized and destroyed. Without repeated experiences of reduced ego you can very easily get lost (as I did, this was my first trip in many years). Related to the above: Some problems are literally unsolvable in a state of heavy ego mind, much energy can be wasted in pursuit of solutions. The ego goes by many names, God resists being named at all. God resists being symbolized, ideas and words cannot stick. You know what is ego because it says "Hello I'm here and I'm this thing, look at me", God will bring you to tears with silence. Also God does not demand your attention he is infinitely patient. You should not resist the ego holding on since this is in fact ego resistance itself! Difficult psychedelic experiences come from the ego holding on, and trying to remain in control. Any resistance to the ego is in fact a spiritual ego and so ego is better identified as any kind of resistance, such resistance can be dissolved into love as soon as it is identified for what it really is. Personal Insights I sometimes argue just for the sake of being right. This is ultimately pointless and actively harmful to close relationships. Silence is golden and is not always untruthful. I rush around a lot trying to always be busy. This leads to neglecting things that require patience. Slow and steady wins the race, leaning into mindfulness and letting go of filler activities leads to a more peaceful and organized life. Inspiration is not sufficient but it is necessary to achieve anything great. Dabbling in this and that, here and there is not harmful if it comes from a place of genuine curiosity but when it comes from expectations and self image then it is wasteful. For me this was dabbling in creating video games when my real inspiration lies in languages, psychology and pharmacology (as evidenced by 1000s of hours of self motivated work). It's been 8 years since I did psychedelics and I regret waiting so long. I didn't achieve full ego loss or God realization, I think I'll need some stronger stuff for that. A little birdie told me 5MeO-DMT is pretty good for that so uh, stay tuned.

Very interesting. I just recently got diagnosed Hypothyroid. My TSH is only 2.25 mIU/L but my antibodies are way up and I had all the symptoms. NDT helps but I found it works less over time, probably dosing it too high. One thing I found that helps is to increase my core temperate artificially with warm clothes, heat lamp or any external heat source and insulation. It's like training over time I can maintain 37°C for longer stretches without the external heat source. When I first found out I was hypo my core temp was 36.3°C after lunch which is a sleeping temperature and now I can maintain 37°C peaking at 37.2°C after a hot meal. I'm in my mid to late 20s and I had actually forgotten how much energy I had when I was 18 until I got 80% of it back again. Still not 100% back though so looking to find out what other hormones might be out of whack. Where do you find the reference ranges and distributions? I cant seem to find a canonical source.

I don't believe he would do it. He is too proud. He'll kick up a fuss but he's not going to attempt a hostile takeover.

@integral Thanks for the info. Yeah I know many doctors are just talking heads without much going on inside, I'm on the lookout for a good Doctor who loves what they do and can dedicate some brain power. I know I definitely have a digestive problem I wonder if Artemisinin could help with that. I was previously on an antibiotic for acne and I noticed my symptoms mostly started after I came off it, I may try and get back on it again.

My doctor told me the opposite: there is no cure for Hashimoto's and the only option is medicating with thyroid hormone for the symptoms. I'm intrigued, what is your source on these cures?

By relapsing I mean the symptoms recurring. You can get NDT on the grey market you just need to shop around. I would not take it unless you have symptoms of hypothyroid though because it will suppress your natural hormone production.

Not so good, starchy food and vegetables make me extremely tired and I get acid reflux from eating bread. I can manage it by eating fruit instead of vegetables and taking antacids (mostly just calcium carbonate) but I'm looking for a more long term solution for the root problem.

Here is an interesting study of the changes in the American diet over the 20th century tracking PUFAs (e.g soy bean oil, sunflower oil etc) and sugar in an effort to explain the obesity epidemic.

From the Bioenergetic perspective sugar and caffeine are both good because they stimulate the metabolism. Sugar is preferable to starch because it gets absorbed more quickly and so is less likely to lead to bacterial overgrowth in the intestine and colon. The hot take is that PUFAs cause diabetes, not sugar. Fruit juice is better because it has more vitamins and minerals and also because natural foods are less likely to contain chemical adulterants and additives. For some reason Danny Roddy who has the most popular Bioenergetics youtube channel has a penchant for coke, specifically Mexican coke which is still made with cane sugar and has less additives than American coke.

Thank you! Yes I avoid PUFAs as much as possible, sunflower oil, soy bean oil etc. If I have them I need to lie down for an hour so it's a no brainer for me in addition to them having such dangerous systemic and long term effects on the body. I also can't handle starch so I avoid that too, I think that may be a bacterial overgrowth so I'm trying regular raw carrots and well cooked mushrooms to see if that will clear it out. My testosterone levels are normal but I haven't checked cholesterol, will get that checked I eat liver once a week to get vitamin A and two eggs every day for cholesterol so I should be fine. That said I found that a little pregnenolone helps my symptoms so perhaps I do have some kind of steroid deficiency, will get a full panel on that in the near future. Glad to see you are sharing information about metabolic health on your youtube channel! Will check out some of your videos.