I am Schizophrenic (schizoaffective disorder to be accurate) AMA

[Zeroguy]

Ask me anything you wanted to know about mental illness and how it is.

[Yimpa]

What do visual and audio hallucinations look and sound like for you?

 

[Zeroguy]

4 hours ago, Yimpa said:

What do visual and audio hallucinations look and sound like for you?

 

I hear voices so audio hallucinations. I hear voice inside my head with whom I can talk too. Sometimes voice says he will fuck me up .

When I was unmedicated I completely lost sense of Reality because voice wanted my attention at all times.It was hell.

Edited Monday at 09:23 AM by Zeroguy

[Judy2]

if you have experienced affective instabilities before (the diagnosis schizoaffective disorder suggests you have), how do you think these intersect with schizophrenia (or the psychotic elements of schizophrenia)? where does one end, where does the other begin? can they be conceptually separated (based solely on your experience), or are they homogeneously intertwined?

Edited Monday at 09:54 AM by Judy2

[Zeroguy]

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

if you have experienced affective instabilities before (the diagnosis schizoaffective disorder suggests you have), how do you think these intersect with schizophrenia (or the psychotic elements of schizophrenia)? where does one end, where does the other begin? can they be conceptually separated (based solely on your experience), or are they homogeneously intertwined?

Yeah I experienced mania and depression. While in mania I have energy to do anything. I actually renovated my house while being manic.

I can separate affective side of illness from psychosis.

Nowadays I frequently experience fear and paranoia no trace of mania or depression.

[Jirh]

How was your environment in childhood?

Any memorable moments of abuse?

How is your relationship currently with your parents and siblings if any?

[Zeroguy]

49 minutes ago, Jirh said:

How was your environment in childhood?

I was victim of narcissistic abuse. Both of my parents were narcissists.I had black sheep role while my brother was golden child.

49 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Any memorable moments of abuse?

There were a lot of these but I forgiven my parents.

49 minutes ago, Jirh said:

How is your relationship currently with your parents and siblings if any?

My mom died 2 years ago from lung cancer. So now my brother, father and myself live in my father's house.

[Jirh]

@Zeroguy Thank you for sharing your experience, and sorry to hear that. I deeply sympathize with what you've gone through. It's heartbreaking to see how harmful early environments and a lack of mental health education can shape a person's life, which is why I'm becoming a psychiatry professor. The conditions you've described, especially the trauma you endured, are textbook risk factors that can contribute to developing mental disorders like the ones you're facing.

How are you managing right now? How is life treating you?

Edited Monday at 02:07 PM by Jirh

[Yimpa]

4 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

I hear voices so audio hallucinations. I hear voice inside my head with whom I can talk too. Sometimes voice says he will fuck me up .

When I was unmedicated I completely lost sense of Reality because voice wanted my attention at all times.It was hell.

I feel you bro. 

[Zeroguy]

On 9/14/2026 at 4:07 PM, Jirh said:

@Zeroguy Thank you for sharing your experience, and sorry to hear that. I deeply sympathize with what you've gone through. It's heartbreaking to see how harmful early environments and a lack of mental health education can shape a person's life, which is why I'm becoming a psychiatry professor. The conditions you've described, especially the trauma you endured, are textbook risk factors that can contribute to developing mental disorders like the ones you're facing.

Thanks.

On 9/14/2026 at 4:07 PM, Jirh said:

How are you managing right now? How is life treating you?

I am managing it good. I suffer from paranoia every few days.It lasts for few hours.

[Zeroguy]

On 9/14/2026 at 4:09 PM, Yimpa said:

I feel you bro. 

Thanks, you are cool person.

[Jirh]

26 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

I am managing it good.

Good on you.

26 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

I suffer from paranoia every few days.It lasts for few hours.

Sorry to hear that. I know it can be tough. It takes strength to go through it everyday and still stand.

Do you think you'll always need meds? Or do you see yourself fully healed and free eventually?

And what do you wish and long for the most in your life? Like what would make you feel the safest and happiest?

[Zeroguy]

25 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Good on you.

Thanks.

25 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Sorry to hear that. I know it can be tough. It takes strength to go through it everyday and still stand.

Yeah sometimes I have suicidal thoughts where mind is trying to convince me it is only and best solution.

25 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Do you think you'll always need meds? Or do you see yourself fully healed and free eventually?

I think I will always need meds. I lost hope that I will be healed and free from illness.

25 minutes ago, Jirh said:

And what do you wish and long for the most in your life? Like what would make you feel the safest and happiest?

Having family. I am currently in relationship with fellow schizophrenic girl but she doesn't want kids .

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, Zeroguy said:

Thanks, you are cool person.

[Jirh]

16 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

Yeah sometimes I have suicidal thoughts where mind is trying to convince me it is only and best solution.

My heart goes out to you. You're not alone in this. I know others who experience the same thing, and they are winning the battle everyday just like you are. Keep going!

Do you get imagery with the feeling of wanting to disappear? Or is it voices? Or both?

16 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

I think I will always need meds. I lost hope that I will be healed and free from illness.

It seems like you've tried quitting before. What was the reason then? Is it the side effects? Do you experience emotional flatness with the meds?

What role(s) do meds play in regulating your emotions and thoughts?

16 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

Having family. I am currently in relationship with fellow schizophrenic girl but she doesn't want kids .

Do you wish to provide the life you couldn't have to your children? Or is it more like a need for belonging?

..

I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions. You can skip all of them if you don't feel comfortable answering.

[Carl-Richard]

How did the voices start (how was your experience the first time you thought you were hearing voices)? Did you become curious about the voices? Did you try to "investigate" them?