I want to have sex with a girl this week

[Olaf]

@Zen LaCroix probably spiritual conditioning

[something_else]

12 hours ago, Ulax said:

Do you have recommendations for London clubs?

Fabric is good, although expensive as shit for drinks. I’ve only been out in London a few times so I don’t have any recommendations beyond that

[Olaf]

Okay, I asked chatgpt to summarise my own text for today: "

Today I did around 13 approaches and focused on taking the game more seriously and not rejecting myself. I also helped a friend approach and discussed qualifying women based on what I actually want rather than seeking validation.

My eye contact, banter, and willingness to approach improved a lot. I pushed through obstacles like girls being on the phone, walking somewhere, or saying they had to leave. I also noticed that I genuinely don't want to pursue every girl, especially when I don't like her energy, which is a good sign of having my own standards.

My biggest weakness today was around talking about myself and closing. In one strong interaction, I became defensive and described my work negatively instead of confidently sharing something I'm passionate about. I also made some interactions unnecessarily negative when I could have stayed lighter, more playful, and curious.

My closes were sometimes too polite and uncertain. I want to make them feel more natural, confident, casual, and decisive, preferably at a high point in the interaction.

Key lessons:

Approach from the front and look for women who are standing still or walking slowly.

Don't automatically avoid women who are on their phones.

Abundance means genuinely not caring about the outcome because you know you have other options.

Authenticity is more powerful than using generic game.

I should qualify women too, instead of only trying to get them to like me.

Focus on keeping interactions fun and closing confidently.

Overall, today was a strong step forward in taking action, becoming more confident, and developing a more authentic style.

"

Some personal notes: I had longer conversations, tolerated less bs from woman and weak stupid shit why you can't have a conversation or why you are giving me such little energy. I don't have to be too pushy in the future, but for now a bit more claiming space is what I need. Also after friday being so frustrated with me not closing and choosing myself, rejecting myself, this day I claimed my space more in the world and even if it wouldn't be an ideal close, I would still try to go close, because I am here to close not to have some nice conversation, fuck that, fuck nice guy bullshit, I rather be called an asshole. Qualifying worked very well as like a mindset in general, not so much about qualifying her in the conversation as the attitude of you screening (screening vibe). We were with 5 wingmen in total lol so learned from people who even had seen Julien game in 2012, which was crazy to hear. I am feeling I am getting better with both banter, push pull, observations or assumptions aswell as with eye contact, I am not focusing on it too much when out they just start happening quite automatically. It is actually normal to approach, approach anxiety becomes less and less. To conclude this week, I didn't have sex, but I improved because I was aiming higher, shoot for the stars and land on a cloud.

Edited 14 hours ago by Olaf

[Joshe]

2 hours ago, Olaf said:

Authenticity is more powerful than using generic game.

This is 95% all you need. Carrying yourself like you're comfortable in your own skin and authentic play.

I think I could have hooked an 18 year old grocery clerk tonight if I had been optimizing for it, but I didn't realize it until after I had walked out of the store. It actually made me think "maybe I should get back into this whole getting pussy thing" But I know better.

I walked in on a mission to get broccoli and she saw me before I ever saw her. As I was walking up to the registers, she was smiling at me differently and letting me know her aisle was open even though her young friend before her was also open and closer to me. I was weighing which one to go to and she was clearly enticing me to come to hers. She had to have been interested in my carefree mannerisms or the way that I was carrying myself because I'm not a Chad. She could probably sense carefree playfulness in me, because that's how I was feeling.

So I walked up and noticed some strange shit about the tech setup and mentioned it playfully without any game or trick on the her. I end up telling her "I haven't been here in 10 years" and she says "you must be old". I immediately intuit the implications of that statement and I'm just looking at her realizing she's my size and the youngest thing I've had in my animal gaze in about 10 years, and sex thoughts were happening. 

My response to her was weak because I started thinking about fucking her. After my weak response, I felt the whole thing fizzle out. She even dropped the fucking bag instead of waiting for me to fully grasp it, lol. It was so obvious.

I can reverse-engineer it. When she said "you must be old", I was blindsided by the obvious prospect of pussy and I killed the playfulness by saying "yeah, I am, haha". But if I were to have said "old as fuck" or "take a guess" or something that continued the play, that would have been the obvious ticket, and something like that is what she was hoping for. Instead, the animal inside hijacked my brain and she could tell that my playfulness went out the window. 

So, I think that aside from learning how to carry yourself and portraying that you're comfortable in your own skin, the only game needed is to learn how to continue the play. That's it! Which requires you to forget about getting the pussy. At least, that's how it is for me. As soon as I become aware that I'm trying to get it and she's open to it, I kill it. 

This is good news because you can practice being playful on anybody. 

Edited 11 hours ago by Joshe

[LordFall]

@Joshe We should not talk about getting pussy as a lowly activity. We are of course rescuing our beloved female companions from the drudgery of existence.

Some would call this doing the lord's work 

[Joshe]

4 minutes ago, LordFall said:

@Joshe We should not talk about getting pussy as a lowly activity. We are of course rescuing our beloved female companions from the drudgery of existence.

Some would call this doing the lord's work 

lol. Not sure I understand exactly what you mean, but I think you may have me figured wrong. I'm not against getting pussy. I myself just don't want to live that lifestyle anymore because of all the baggage that comes with it. The urges are of course still there when I wind up in situations.

I do think modern pickup advice is mostly toxic though, and I don't think you need most of it. So, I'm not against guys figuring out how to get laid. I just strongly disagree with the majority of the advice out there. 

Pareto principle. 80/20. What is the 80? Probably "play". That's healthy. 

 

[Joshe]

@LordFall Actually, I think I see your point now. lol. Yes, you're right, fa sho! 

[Olaf]

@Joshe she was just giving you a shit test and failed, practice shit tests on chatgpt

[something_else]

13 minutes ago, Olaf said:

shit test

I hate this term with a burning passion

[Miguel1]

39 minutes ago, something_else said:

I hate this term with a burning passion

For me it has gone full circle. I’ve got to a point with my inner game where I don’t even realize shit tests are thrown at me. I pass them without realizing, as I don’t take anything they say seriously in the early stages.

[something_else]

12 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

For me it has gone full circle. I’ve got to a point with my inner game where I don’t even realize shit tests are thrown at me. I pass them without realizing, as I don’t take anything they say seriously in the early stages.

What pickup calls a 'shit test' is just playfully teasing someone, it's part of basic human social interaction, especially so when flirting.

I don't like the term because it makes it seem like women are actively and intentionally trying to test you, which they are not. They're either teasing you playfully to flirt or they're telling you they aren't interested. It's usually easy to tell the difference.

[Olaf]

@something_else some woman just have crazy shit tests you are not prepared for and if you pass them correctly, their interest in you increases dramatically, if you are `advanced` you can drop it, but anyone who is advanced can drop practicing, it's nothing special. You got to learn the basics, and Joshe clearly got thrown off by that shit test, therefor he needs to practice this particular aspect more and hell it is even fun to practice.

[something_else]

Just now, Olaf said:

@something_else some woman just have crazy shit tests you are not prepared for and if you pass them correctly, their interest in you increases dramatically, if you are `advanced` you can drop it, but anyone who is advanced can drop practicing, it's nothing special. You got to learn the basics, and Joshe clearly got thrown off by that shit test, therefor he needs to practice this particular aspect more and hell it is even fun to practice.

She was playfully teasing him and he didn't engage. It wasn't that he failed a "shit test", he just killed the conversation stone dead with "yea I am".

I don't disagree with learning basic social skills, but framing everything in terms of pickup lingo is a detriment to that goal. You start interpreting everything women do as a "shit test" or whatever, meanwhile they're just trying to playfully flirt with you and you're viewing it as some kind of hostile battlefield where she's trying to test your masculinity.

[Miguel1]

41 minutes ago, something_else said:

What pickup calls a 'shit test' is just playfully teasing someone, it's part of basic human social interaction, especially so when flirting.

I don't like the term because it makes it seem like women are actively and intentionally trying to test you, which they are not. They're either teasing you playfully to flirt or they're telling you they aren't interested. It's usually easy to tell the difference.

You are half right. There are some seriously harsh shit tests too and they have no playful intentions.

Most shit tests I get are playful tho.

Edited 2 hours ago by Miguel1

[something_else]

4 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

here are some seriously harsh shit tests too and they have no playful intentions.

If a woman is genuinely cruel or rude to me I don't think "oh wow, she must really like me, I'll keep pushing!". I just leave and go chat to girls who are receptive and playful.

Edited 2 hours ago by something_else

[Olaf]

@something_else because your weak

[something_else]

8 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@something_else because your weak

It's weaker to want the touch of a woman so badly that you keep talking to someone who either:

• doesn't respect you enough to be polite;
• is not remotely interested in you;
• or is interested, but wants to play silly games with you.

I don't have time or energy for that shit. There are plenty of women out there who don't do this, and those are the women I would rather spend my time with.

Edited 2 hours ago by something_else

[Olaf]

@something_else you will never date up by just going the easy road, you will only date down. Girls that are in your frame from the very start, is a high expectation to have. a girl that you are dating that is more attractive then you will probably shit test you. A shit test is a great opportunity to demonstrate higher value and become more high value, it is actually helping you grow both with woman that you date down or up. Going for the easy road is weakness, you don't grow from it at all. It's like tinder, I know guys who say they get laid allot by only using tinder, but what does that have to do with self-improvement? How are you becoming a higher-value man? Approaching, taking on challenges will make you higher value not to avoid shit tests, because she hurt your ego for a second. 

Maybe a good motivation would be this, my wingmen sended me a message of a shit test, I gave him what he should reply, he replied that and she sended a nude photo right after he responded what I sended him, she was like an 8 or something. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Olaf

[Miguel1]

36 minutes ago, something_else said:

It's weaker to want the touch of a woman so badly that you keep talking to someone who either:

• doesn't respect you enough to be polite;
• is not remotely interested in you;
• or is interested, but wants to play silly games with you.

I don't have time or energy for that shit. There are plenty of women out there who don't do this, and those are the women I would rather spend my time with.

Again, I half agree with you.

Depends on my mood, sometimes I disengage.

But. If a girl is that rude, she herself is charging the tension and energy. Most of the hard work is already done by her then. It is quite easy to flip it on its head.

[something_else]

7 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@something_else you will never date up by just going the easy road, you will only date down. Girls that are in your frame from the very start, is a high expectation to have. a girl that you are dating that is more attractive then you will probably shit test you. A shit test is a great opportunity to demonstrate higher value and become more high value, it is actually helping you grow both with woman that you date down or up. Going for the easy road is weakness, you don't grow from it at all. It's like tinder, I know guys who say they get laid allot by only using tinder, but what does that have to do with self-improvement? How are you becoming a higher-value man? Approaching, taking on challenges will make you higher value not to avoid shit tests, because she hurt your ego for a second. 

I know this is almost word-for-word from the pickup textbook on shit tests, but I’ve done just fine without it in terms of hooking up with and dating attractive girls.

The goal for me was learning to be a socially functional, calibrated, interesting, and fun person. Up until my early twenties I had a stick up my ass, had borderline autistic social skills, social anxiety, zero interests or hobbies etc. 

Pickup didn’t work very well for me as a framework for fixing that. If anything it made me feel more isolated, because I was the weird dude chatting to girls in the park or going to clubs alone. It actually made me feel creepier, low-value, and even less socially calibrated. In my head I was thinking “why do I need to chat to girls in the park to get laid, is this really something a quality man would do? If my future girlfriend knew I was doing this, would she really respect me?”

It did help with social anxiety in the form of exposure therapy though, that’s probably the main value I got from pickup.

My goal was never to become this ultra charismatic pickup god, because that is not who I am or who I want to be. I wanted to overcome social anxiety, to have a solid set of social skills, and to have a vibrant social life with close friends. When you have that, dating comes very naturally. 

Again, what I found is that social hobbies, travel, and close friendships grew me in the ways I care about far more than hardcore pickup, and I’m now regularly dating girls far more attractive (both personality and physically) than I was during my pickup days.