The Hell of Porn Addiction

[Monster Energy]

2 hours ago, LordFall said:

Yes, that's fair I was never addicted that badly.

How come you don't get into pickup? If you know you can meet women to fuck semi-consistently then porn becomes less of an attractive product. If you're a virgin or have a low body count and you don't know how to hookup with women then of course you're gonna pedestalize sex and watching other people have it is gonna become one of the highlights of your life. 

I used to have this routine when I was depressed where I would wake up, go out walk by the lake and get a coffee, then smoke some weed, watch youtube videos for intellectual stimulation then watch porn when I got bored and take a nap. I would repeat this 2-3 times a day until tomorrow came and would burn days without doing anything but still having more or less a good time.

I got out of it well because literally I was gonna get evicted and stopped having enough money to pay rent and my roommate had to cover for me a couple of times and the shame got too much so I stopped coping and got on top of my shit.

Are your parents funding your lifestyle? That's an extremely tricky situation that I see a few men fall into and without survival pressure there is really no big pressing need to stop the loop of coping and self-destruction. 

Yeah, I get it. You found your wake-up call. Mine just looked different.

And no, I’m not getting into pickup. I’m not interested in replacing one addiction with another and calling it self-improvement. If I need women, porn, weed, or anything else just to make life feel interesting, then I’m still letting something else control me.

And no, my parents aren’t funding my lifestyle. I just got tired of wasting my time and pretending I was fine with it. Eventually you either take control of your life, or you keep finding excuses for why you haven’t.

 

[Monster Energy]

1 hour ago, museumoftrees said:

How many days have you been porn free?

Almost 3 years 

[Monster Energy]

52 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Monster Energy congrats man! Doing the Lord's work! 

Thank you! By the way, I really love your posts. You seem very conscious and self-aware in the way you write. We need more people like you. You go really deep in your posts, which makes them genuinely insightful and enlightening.

 

[Monster Energy]

10 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Why are you so hyperbolic in every post you make? 😆

(I know you will post-hoc narrow down what you said to the pure behavioral/habitual aspects and not "peripheral" things like cognitive/health effects, but you made your bed, now lie in it):

I know three people my age that I've interacted with at multiple occasions that all died before they filled 30 years old (possibly more that I don't know about). Drugs were involved. If you want to tell me porn addiction is more likely the cause or is even in the same category, you don't know what drugs are.

I’m not saying porn is more physically dangerous than drugs. I’m saying it can be harder to escape because it’s always there. You can’t exactly remove sex from your life and call it a day. It’s everywhere, and that makes the battle a little more complicated.

Obviously, it depends on the person and the drug. But just because porn won’t kill you the way certain drugs can doesn’t mean breaking the addiction is a walk in the park.

 

[Carl-Richard]

7 hours ago, Monster Energy said:

I’m not saying porn is more physically dangerous than drugs. I’m saying it can be harder to escape because it’s always there.

You aren't actually saying this literally in your post. You have to learn to write more precisely.

 

7 hours ago, Monster Energy said:

You can’t exactly remove sex from your life and call it a day. It’s everywhere, and that makes the battle a little more complicated.

A drug addict's life is about getting drugs. If they don't have it, their life is in the pursuit of it. That you can engage in porn more often makes it somehow worse is not really a good measurement.

 

7 hours ago, Monster Energy said:

Obviously, it depends on the person and the drug. But just because porn won’t kill you the way certain drugs can doesn’t mean breaking the addiction is a walk in the park.

Suddenly the hyperbole deflated if not completely reverted.

Edited 9 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[blackchair]

I have 5-6 saved/bookmarked "perfect" porn videos for me, for the past 10 years, and that's it. I have no need for exploration anymore. I put imagination to do the rest. 

[LordFall]

6 hours ago, Monster Energy said:

And no, I’m not getting into pickup. I’m not interested in replacing one addiction with another and calling it self-improvement. If I need women, porn, weed, or anything else just to make life feel interesting, then I’m still letting something else control me.

Makes sense, if you're satisfied now then more power to you. Just be careful with trying pure repression, usually that seems to backfire on people. 

[Monster Energy]

11 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

You aren't actually saying this literally in your post. You have to learn to write more precisely.

 

 

You want me to be more precise, but you’re correcting me for something I never actually said. I never claimed porn is more physically dangerous than drugs. Maybe read what I wrote instead of arguing with a point I didn’t make.

 

 

Edited 5 hours ago by Monster Energy

[Monster Energy]

9 hours ago, blackchair said:

I have 5-6 saved/bookmarked "perfect" porn videos for me, for the past 10 years, and that's it. I have no need for exploration anymore. I put imagination to do the rest. 

Good for you 

[Monster Energy]

5 hours ago, LordFall said:

Makes sense, if you're satisfied now then more power to you. Just be careful with trying pure repression, usually that seems to backfire on people. 

That’s true. That’s why it’s important to learn how to consciously process and manage your emotions, so you can heal the wounds you never dealt with while you were addicted. When you become present, you have to face your demons because you can no longer escape into porn. You have to face yourself in order to truly free yourself from the addiction.

 

[bazera]

@Monster Energy How did you overcome it? 4 times a day for 10 years doesn't seem easily breakable, I imagine you had many relapses.

What exactly happened 3 years ago? What did you change after your last relapse? 

Edited 4 hours ago by bazera

[Hayato]

Porn to me gets boring very fast. It is just the same thing over and over again. 

One way to break addictions in my opinion is to just think. When you have the urge to do the thing, the brain shuts down.

You have to turn your brain back on and start thinking about the consequences, how you will feel afterward, what will you gain ultimately from it and that breaks the spell.

[Monster Energy]

2 hours ago, bazera said:

@Monster Energy How did you overcome it? 4 times a day for 10 years doesn't seem easily breakable, I imagine you had many relapses.

What exactly happened 3 years ago? What did you change after your last relapse? 

Three years ago, I realized that I’m not my thoughts or emotions. I’m the one observing them, and the one observing everything is always whole.

Getting out of this addiction was probably the hardest mental battle I’ve ever been through. I could feel how empty I became every time I masturbated. It felt like the life was slowly leaving my body. Sometimes I felt like a 70-year-old man in a 20-year-old body.

I knew I had to get out of it, because otherwise I felt like it would eventually kill me. The emptiness was something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

It took many attempts and many years. I relapsed a lot. But eventually I stopped trying to run from what was underneath the addiction. I had to face myself instead of escaping every time I felt something uncomfortable.

That was the biggest change for me.

 

[Monster Energy]

40 minutes ago, Hayato said:

Porn to me gets boring very fast. It is just the same thing over and over again. 

One way to break addictions in my opinion is to just think. When you have the urge to do the thing, the brain shuts down.

You have to turn your brain back on and start thinking about the consequences, how you will feel afterward, what will you gain ultimately from it and that breaks the spell.

That might work when you’re just starting to get addicted. But when you’re actually deep in it, logic isn’t always enough. You can know exactly what you’re doing and exactly how you’ll feel afterward, and still do it.

Because the mind doesn’t just say, “Do it.” It starts bargaining. “One last time.” “You’ll never feel this good again if you quit.” “You can stop tomorrow.”

You already know the consequences. The addiction just doesn’t care. It knows exactly what to say to keep you coming back. That’s when simply “thinking about it” stops being enough. You have to break the whole pattern, not just argue with the urge.

 

[bazera]

12 minutes ago, Monster Energy said:

Three years ago, I realized that I’m not my thoughts or emotions. I’m the one observing them, and the one observing everything is always whole.

Getting out of this addiction was probably the hardest mental battle I’ve ever been through. I could feel how empty I became every time I masturbated. It felt like the life was slowly leaving my body. Sometimes I felt like a 70-year-old man in a 20-year-old body.

I knew I had to get out of it, because otherwise I felt like it would eventually kill me. The emptiness was something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

It took many attempts and many years. I relapsed a lot. But eventually I stopped trying to run from what was underneath the addiction. I had to face myself instead of escaping every time I felt something uncomfortable.

That was the biggest change for me.

 

Thanks for sharing, I'm struggling with that at the moment so I can relate to everything you said here.

It's really tough. 

[Monster Energy]

1 minute ago, bazera said:

Thanks for sharing, I'm struggling with that at the moment so I can relate to everything you said here.

It's really tough. 

I’m really sorry to hear that. I genuinely hope you become free from this. But at the level you’re at, logic alone won’t be enough. The ego will tell you anything to keep you trapped, even things like, “Maybe I actually want to be a slave to porn,” or “I don’t want to feel whole without external experiences.”

It’s a curse, and it can make you feel like you’re the only person in the world suffering this deeply, like everyone else is nowhere near your level of pain. It may even make you resent women and convince you that they took your life force from you. But that’s another illusion.

The problem isn’t the external world. It’s your relationship to it. The ego will do everything it can to make you feel hopeless or convince you that porn is freedom. You have to see through it.

 

[Monster Energy]

@bazera 

I strongly believe his channel will help you a lot on your journey!

 

[bazera]

@Monster Energy Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻 will check it out.

[bazera]

@Monster Energy It's really strange that some of us who got addicted to porn earlier in life, share the experience of this being the most difficult thing to break out of. People who just casually use it can't understand the struggle of it. 

But also, it's an opportunity to truly look at the impulses and see through them. Not acting on the urges feel like turture sometimes but only through that suffering can it be solved. 

[BlessedLion]

Sexual Mastery is absolutely essential for men in life, there is no way around it no matter how you slice it. Espeically nowadays, i'm working a video for this topic