Conscious dating

[Majed]

I am getting to a point where if the person doesn't match my mentality and values, i'm simply not interested. 
Wanting to sleep around with whoever just because they're hot is weak. 
Not sleeping with anybody because you're waiting until marriage is also being brainwashed and a weakness. 
Prioritize compatibility and value alignment first and foremost before sleeping with someone. 
A spiritual connection, and an intellectual connection have to precede a physical connection. 

[Spiral]

I think if you’re are trying to find the perfect match you’ll either be single forever or catch the feels and just go for someone anyway.

Although I think having the same preferences regarding dating activities, while in a relationship, is huge. 

A partner shouldn’t be everything, you should have trust, love and enjoy their company. That’s about it. They want lower taxes, you want higher? Fine that’s not important

[Raze]

You need to actually be getting dates to be conscious about them 

[Majed]

@Raze 😂😂😂

[Joseph Maynor]

Energy is so important to relationship.  A lot of people seem to be very confused about this.  This is hard to show someone.  I've been exploring this a lot lately.  

[Rafael Thundercat]

On 19/08/2026 at 1:23 PM, Majed said:

Prioritize compatibility and value alignment first and foremost before sleeping with someone. 
A spiritual connection, and an intellectual connection have to precede a physical connection. 

These days I see compatibility by the lens of Attachment Styles. Why. Because I dated an Avoidant Girl. So in a sense I have Anxious Attachment making us in this lens compatible, not a healty compatibility but a match. 

I highly recomend you guys to study this material below

As far as I had experienced this is 100% based. I will keep study it Because I know how fucked up one can be by dealing with this dynamics. But well, we keep learning and as far as we grow we improve the quality of our next parternships.

Get laid, but be aware of this dynamics before you enter in a situationship that will suck life force from you. 

[Joseph Maynor]

I'm finding that as the masculine you want to be relaxed, playful, and confident.  

[LordFall]

On 8/19/2026 at 0:23 PM, Majed said:

I am getting to a point where if the person doesn't match my mentality and values, i'm simply not interested. 
Wanting to sleep around with whoever just because they're hot is weak. 
Not sleeping with anybody because you're waiting until marriage is also being brainwashed and a weakness. 
Prioritize compatibility and value alignment first and foremost before sleeping with someone. 
A spiritual connection, and an intellectual connection have to precede a physical connection. 

Just build a high quality social circle filled with women then you can pick the ones you wanna date from it. It's not that complicated.

You're a musician, throw a music event in the next month and I'm sure you can get 3-10 women to show up to it. 

Edited yesterday at 04:17 AM by LordFall

[Rafael Thundercat]

Remember that soon or later in dating one will encounter breakups. I did recently and this here is helping a lot.

Funny enough he use the methaphor of wounded knee and how by ignoring the pain will not help at all. Supressing the pain and ignoring big emotions never helps. Better to listening to the signals and learn from it.

And two nigths ago, rigth after a sort of figth with her I started to feel a pain in my rigth leg. Maybe for other reasons but idk, emotions affects our bodies in ways that we may not understand totally.

[LordFall]

20 minutes ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

Remember that soon or later in dating one will encounter breakups. I did recently and this here is helping a lot.

Funny enough he use the methaphor of wounded knee and how by ignoring the pain will not help at all. Supressing the pain and ignoring big emotions never helps. Better to listening to the signals and learn from it.

And two nigths ago, rigth after a sort of figth with her I started to feel a pain in my rigth leg. Maybe for other reasons but idk, emotions affects our bodies in ways that we may not understand totally.

Interesting concept, I have unexplained phantom pains that could totally be caused by emotional blockages. Somatic symptoms are scary. 

[Joseph Maynor]

Dating is really exhausting, but I respect people who understand this area of development work.  

[Inliytened1]

15 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Dating is really exhausting, but I respect people who understand this area of development work.  

Now i have to figure out if I want to start dating again or get back with my ex - she still wants me back.  Not sure what to do.

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

Now i have to figure out if I want to start dating again or get back with my ex - she still wants me back.  Not sure what to do.

I think it is important to pick a relationship really carefully.  But you can only do what you can do too.  

[LordFall]

14 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Now i have to figure out if I want to start dating again or get back with my ex - she still wants me back.  Not sure what to do.

Does she fit your goals and the optimal life you envision for yourself or you're just wanting to take the easy way out? 

[Joseph Maynor]

This is a cool quote I found that is actually very valid to be attractive as the masculine.  It works like magic.  But it has to be real.

"Confidence is attractive because it signals emotional safety, self-reliance, and low anxiety. A self-assured man is less likely to project personal insecurities, control his partner, or demand constant emotional reassurance. This creates a stable environment where both people feel free to express themselves openly."

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Does she fit your goals and the optimal life you envision for yourself or you're just wanting to take the easy way out? 

No she doesn't.  Not taking the easy way out.  I'm gonna do this right this time.

 

[Inliytened1]

20 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I think it is important to pick a relationship really carefully.  But you can only do what you can do too.  

Yes this is vital.  I used to just willy nilly it but it's so crucial to your life, and if you pick the wrong one it can really mess you up.

 

[Inliytened1]

@LordFall How are you currently navigating?

[LordFall]

10 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

@LordFall How are you currently navigating?

I use dating apps here and there but it's not really my main focus at the moment.

In Q1-2027 my cashflow situation should be solved so it'll start to be time for me to make dating a priority again. 

[Inliytened1]

2 minutes ago, LordFall said:

I use dating apps here and there but it's not really my main focus at the moment.

In Q1-2027 my cashflow situation should be solved so it'll start to be time for me to make dating a priority again. 

My cashflow situation got fixed immediately when I became single again  But the funny thing is now she got a job that we aren't together LOL

Edited 2 hours ago by Inliytened1