The Tension Before the Approach

[Inliytened1]

30 minutes ago, Olaf said:

Something I wrote to myself after the event: I am too timid, I am too in my head, I am too stifled/anxious, not going BALLS TO THE WALL, EYYYYYY!! Having fun! FUCK YES! Why not? Why fucking not? Why be boring? So that I don't get harshly rejected? Who cares about harsh rejections? WHO CARES about ANY REJECTION? If you are having fun, if you are having the time of your life, is that not why you are meant to LIVE?? It is like, yes you are taking the safe route, but it is SOOOO boring! Like how fucking boring can it fucking be? Just go, just do, just approach, just have fun, live LIFE, fuck it! Make them think bad about you, make them say how you are a loser, make them call you every bad name in the book! BUT atleast YOU LIVED LIFE and they had NO FUN! So fuck em! Love yourself! Have fun! LIVE LIFE! Lets go!

Are you not entertained? Is that not why you are here?

Yeah get out there.  Let the rejections flow. Fucking welcome them.  All you need is one to wanna pull your pants down!

 

Edited 6 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Jirh]

I notice that I generally don't immediately know if some girl is attractive. Rarely have I felt that initial spark of attraction. Most of the times I see a girl, no feelings, no attraction.

For me, attraction often develops after weeks into dating. I don't immediately start fantasizing about the girl I'm dating. So when I approach a girl, it's not an authentic expression from me. I am literally doing something that I don't care to do. That's probably why the girls don't vibe with me, because my vibe is already off from the get-go.

Is this experience universal or is it just me? Is my sexuality broken? Or is it something that evolves with practice?

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, Jirh said:

I notice that I generally don't immediately know if some girl is attractive. Rarely have I felt that initial spark of attraction. Most of the times I see a girl, no feelings, no attraction.

You have to go out and train to identity girls you like.

None of this stuff is automatic.

[Olaf]

@Jirh or have fun for the sake of having fun, girls are fun. I discovered a new word yesterday `scary fun` it isn´t a real word I just made it up, but when I saw others do approaches it were in fun ways I normally would be scared of to do, because I am too timid and stuck in my head. That is when I thought `scary fun`, meaning what is fun but scares you a bit aswell. Like doing a dance for a girl or giving a whole group a hug or high fives and give ENERGY etc.

[Jirh]

@Olaf

Yeah, I see your point. It makes sense. It's just too foreign to me at this point.

The thing is that I generally find it hard to act goofy and loose with others, especially at the early stages of getting to know someone. I start out formally then gradually reveal my more informal side over time. My sense of humor is good, though. I can make people laugh. But that side of me doesn't get activated with strangers. I need some form of connection as background before I can tap into that place.

Edited 2 minutes ago by Jirh