The Tension Before the Approach

[Olaf]

@Leo Gura preach! I will think about it! Oh wait, I mean apply it hehe

[LifeEnjoyer]

@Olaf I thought I recalled reading a message in his group chat that he wasn’t attending but now I can’t find it so maybe you will get to meet him!

If not you could come to the one in Chicago and we could be buddies?

[Jirh]

Today I was walking at the park, and I saw a girl sitting there on a bench. I don't normally do this, but since I see you guys here talking a lot about cold approaching, I said to myself what the hell let's do this. And I did experience some tension before the approach and even a bit during.

It went terrible, however, like really terrible she wasn't able to speak. Literally she said nothing. I said hi, she gave me nothing. I asked a question, she turned her head away 😂

I told her if you are not feeling well, I will go away. She gave me the same non-response. And I walked away.

It's not fun at all. I don't feel hurt by the rejection, though. But like how do you even get a stranger girl to talk to you? I've had GFs in the past, but they were all from social circle. Some of them even initiated contact with me. This pickup thing is different.

[Zenterus]

@Jirh I felt the brutality of that approach just by reading about it lol

 

Not all approaches go like that though, so dont let that form a primary impression of how cold approaching unfolds. A lot of girls will talk to you. You just got unlucky or your vibe was too tense and low status for her to engage with, which is something you can improve on.

[Leo Gura]

Of course your first approach will suck.

[Inliytened1]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course your first approach will suck.

Hey not necessarily. Beginner's luck usually happens.  So when you get your first one you realize its not so bad.  A million rejections do not equal the satisfaction ot a single victory.

It's not rocket science guys. Get off your ass.  There is lots of ass waiting to be had by a guy with balls.

[Jirh]

@Zenterus @Leo Gura

Thanks. I guess I'll start approaching from now on, just to practice and see how it changes my life. I won't be focused on getting the girl. I will try to focus on the process.

[Inliytened1]

Just now, Jirh said:

@Zenterus @Leo Gura

Thanks. I guess I'll start approaching from now on, just to practice and see how it changes my life. I won't be focused on getting the girl. I will try to focus on the process.

Boom.

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, Jirh said:

Today I was walking at the park, and I saw a girl sitting there on a bench. I don't normally do this, but since I see you guys here talking a lot about cold approaching, I said to myself what the hell let's do this. And I did experience some tension before the approach and even a bit during.

It went terrible, however, like really terrible she wasn't able to speak. Literally she said nothing. I said hi, she gave me nothing. I asked a question, she turned her head away 😂

I told her if you are not feeling well, I will go away. She gave me the same non-response. And I walked away.

It's not fun at all. I don't feel hurt by the rejection, though. But like how do you even get a stranger girl to talk to you? I've had GFs in the past, but they were all from social circle. Some of them even initiated contact with me. This pickup thing is different.

This is awesome keep it up. 

The fun part is not the rejection. The fun part is when you fuck a girl cuz of advice you read on the internet. That's truly magical. 

I've had some truly traumatizing approaches lmao. One of them I remember distinctly is a a girl walking down really cute blondie and then she just made a disgusted face and waved her hand like don't talk to me. I had never gotten that one before, it went from a good day to quite depressing instantly. I slumped back to the train station heading back home in defeat and then I saw another cute girl dark skin brown hard and then my buddy was with me so he pushed me to approach her and I did and she was super down and we went on a date a couple days later. 

I've had another one where I was walking with friends and told my buddy to approach this girl and he chickened out so I did it. I said "Hey excuse me I think you're cute and then she started yelling I DONT KNOW THIS MAN GET AWAY FROM ME. I said 5 words and that's what happened not like I harassed her and this was like a busy thursday night with many people around so idk what her problem was either trauma or read too much Pink pill female advice and was ready to drop the hammer on a dude lol. Glad it happened to me and another dude cuz I dont really give a fuck but thank God I had friends with me otherwise that would've been a truly embarrassing one. 

Those are just two bad examples out of hundreds of mostly good responses or at worst neutral. You can't let a few bad approaches get you down, it's the game baby! That's literally the main reason why game works is most guys give up and don't do it so you automatically meet more women by 90% of men if you start cold approaching or building an intentional social circle. 

[Inliytened1]

8 minutes ago, LordFall said:

This is awesome keep it up. 

The fun part is not the rejection. The fun part is when you fuck a girl cuz of advice you read on the internet. That's truly magical. 

I've had some truly traumatizing approaches lmao. One of them I remember distinctly is a a girl walking down really cute blondie and then she just made a disgusted face and waved her hand like don't talk to me. I had never gotten that one before, it went from a good day to quite depressing instantly. I slumped back to the train station heading back home in defeat and then I saw another cute girl dark skin brown hard and then my buddy was with me so he pushed me to approach her and I did and she was super down and we went on a date a couple days later. 

I've had another one where I was walking with friends and told my buddy to approach this girl and he chickened out so I did it. I said "Hey excuse me I think you're cute and then she started yelling I DONT KNOW THIS MAN GET AWAY FROM ME. I said 5 words and that's what happened not like I harassed her and this was like a busy thursday night with many people around so idk what her problem was either trauma or read too much Pink pill female advice and was ready to drop the hammer on a dude lol. Glad it happened to me and another dude cuz I dont really give a fuck but thank God I had friends with me otherwise that would've been a truly embarrassing one. 

Those are just two bad examples out of hundreds of mostly good responses or at worst neutral. You can't let a few bad approaches get you down, it's the game baby! That's literally the main reason why game works is most guys give up and don't do it so you automatically meet more women by 90% of men if you start cold approaching or building an intentional social circle. 

Eventually the rejections will become a blur. You will only recall the victories. I have fucked so many girls I can't even recall the victories anymore.  I used to keep count in a black book but I lost that too years ago.  So now its just about today and what prize I take home.

Edited 4 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Jirh]

@LordFall Yeah. Thanks for sharing your stories. You made me feel less embarrassed.

Technically, it's not my first approach. I have tried approaching a few times in the past and failed, so I didn't stick to it. But practically, I am still at level 0. I have no idea how to start up a conversation and how to lead from there. Once there's rapport, it's no big deal for me. I'm good at relating with the girls I know in general. But just the first blocks, I don't possess the skills for breaking the ice and make quick small talk conversations. And I can't even chat up stranger guys, so it's not related to anxiety. I just don't have the skill yet.

[LordFall]

25 minutes ago, Jirh said:

@LordFall Yeah. Thanks for sharing your stories. You made me feel less embarrassed.

Technically, it's not my first approach. I have tried approaching a few times in the past and failed, so I didn't stick to it. But practically, I am still at level 0. I have no idea how to start up a conversation and how to lead from there. Once there's rapport, it's no big deal for me. I'm good at relating with the girls I know in general. But just the first blocks, I don't possess the skills for breaking the ice and make quick small talk conversations. And I can't even chat up stranger guys, so it's not related to anxiety. I just don't have the skill yet.

For sure man, you deserve the best dating life that you can possibly imagine.

That's why I write these crazy polyamory posts because that's the most beautiful life I can envision for myself. It's sure as fuck not easy but each day one step closer!