Men of the forum - Respect / Love

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

Both are very vital but overall consistency is more valuable. 

Consistency in general across all domains of romantic relationships - or as it applies to both respect / love?

A mature & secure response  - consistency is one of the best raw communicators of authenticity.

For me coherence trumps consistency, as consistency could be... consistently a piece of shit.

LOL 

[Inliytened1]

2 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Consistency in general across all domains of romantic relationships - or as it applies to both respect / love?

A mature & secure response  - consistency is one of the best raw communicators of authenticity.

For me coherence trumps consistency, as consistency could be... consistently a piece of shit.

LOL 

Haha.  Well mate, I suppose if you're not coherent it's all in vain. But yeah. Why do some couples fall out of love, explain that one to me.  And others you see like a movie (ie The Notebook) a love that can never be extinguished.  I want that kind of love! 

Edited yesterday at 05:41 AM by Inliytened1

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Inliytened1 Raw, fiery, carnal passion and hot chocolate cuddle-puddles everlasting!!

[Inliytened1]

Just now, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Inliytened1 Raw, fiery, carnal passion and hot chocolate cuddle-puddles everlasting!!

Yes you have nailed it right there.  Cuddle puddles is a new one for me i am gonna have to digest that one.  Love it!

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Inliytened1 Cuddle puddle was used on me - to great affect.

Probably a good phrase for the gentleman who want to woo the ladies

"Movie and a cuddle puddle?" 

I SEDUCE MYSELF!

[Inliytened1]

7 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Inliytened1 Cuddle puddle was used on me - to great affect.

Probably a good phrase for the gentleman who want to woo the ladies

"Movie and a cuddle puddle?" 

I SEDUCE MYSELF!

I need some cuddle puddles for sure. Won't deny it.

[Emotionalmosquito]

Neither. She’s out the door if she says either one of those. That’s getting into committed relationship territory which serves me no purpose and costs a fortune. I still have dozens of gorgeous women I need to experience before even thinking about settling down. That’s why I’m trying to learn the art of seduction. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Emotionalmosquito very interesting.

Why do you think you reject expressions of love and admiration? 

It seems to me they appear to be loaded terms for you. Do you know where you developed your relationship to receiving love and respect? 

[Basman]

I never heard anyone say "I respect" you outside of a fight where they need to reestablish trust. Respect is something you show through your actions in my opinion. Words are nice but only one factor. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

21 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Emotionalmosquito very interesting.

Why do you think you reject expressions of love and admiration? 

It seems to me they appear to be loaded terms for you. Do you know where you developed your relationship to receiving love and respect? 

Well it’s just because I don’t need things to be getting that serious. Maybe if she expressed that I could tell her “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that” and try to forget it before really leaving. I just want a no strings attached partner so we can bust each other’s balls, be goofy, play tag, hide and seek, and do epic prank calls together and stuff. If she starts getting real feelings that means it’ll hurt more once it’s time to move on because then I feel bad for cutting it off. Plus it’ll start costing me money I don’t have. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Emotionalmosquito so you don't go deep because you want to avoid pain?

[Emotionalmosquito]

3 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Emotionalmosquito so you don't go deep because you want to avoid pain?

Partially yes but I know I can handle it. As a vipassana practitioner we’re not allowed to be afraid of sensations however unpleasant. Mostly because she might be hurt worse if we let it get that far. Also don’t forget the financial drawbacks. I’m broke as hell and looking for work. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Partially yes but I know I can handle it.  

This is precisely why I'll always risk it for the biscuit

I don't hesitate to go all in. Go with the flow. See where loves takes me. As deep as it will.

I know that any heartbreak or pain I might go through - I trust I am able to heal from it.

[Inliytened1]

4 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

This is precisely why I'll always risk it for the biscuit

I don't hesitate to go all in. Go with the flow. See where loves takes me. As deep as it will.

I know that any heartbreak or pain I might go through - I trust I am able to heal from it.

I never understood how traumatic heartbreak is. Its awful and I have had my share mostly by my own hand.  I don't wish it on anyone. But one of my deepest heartbreaks actually led to enlightenment.  So there's that.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Inliytened1 I feel you.

We talking barely eating, leaving my bed. Shell of a human. Like someone surgically removed my soul. Life spun by on black and white. Every second was an eternity. Sleep was my only respite. 

My first massive episode of depression was triggered when I was truly broken hearted for the first time. It lasted 18months. I lost my job.

The most horrifying part was the cognitive decline during that period. I was unable to focus at all. Scattered. I had to even take a leave of absence from uni in 3rd year because my grades took a nosedive.

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Inliytened1 I feel you.

We talking barely eating, leaving my bed. Shell of a human. Like someone surgically removed my soul. Life spun by on black and white. Every second was an eternity. Sleep was my only respite. 

My first massive episode of depression was triggered when I was truly broken hearted for the first time. It lasted 18months. I lost my job.

The most horrifying part was the cognitive decline during that period. I was unable to focus at all. Scattered. I had to even take a leave of absence from uni in 3rd year because my grades took a nosedive.

That sounds awful.  Yeah. I feel you too.  But somehow you made it through.  We heal but we carry the scars. And we learn to be better in the next relationship.  But we might always romanticize the one we lost.

[Leo Gura]

On 7/19/2026 at 10:17 AM, enchanted said:

Anyone who chooses RESPECT that that is a indication that they are in the unconscious majority

I think that's too uncharitable. Some people could genuinely value respect.

[Raze]

“Women only love men they respect” or “women only sleep with men they respect” always seemed like nonsense to me.

A woman can respect a wise old sage and not want to bang him.

A woman can not respect some degenerate drug addled club promoter but sleep with him if she’s having fun 

A woman can love her husband due to their shared investment but not be attracted to him anymore if he became lame 

Edited 6 hours ago by Raze

[Inliytened1]

1 hour ago, Raze said:

“Women only love men they respect” or “women only sleep with men they respect” always seemed like nonsense to me.

A woman can respect a wise old sage and not want to bang him.

A woman can not respect some degenerate drug addled club promoter but sleep with him if she’s having fun 

A woman can love her husband due to their shared investment but not be attracted to him anymore if he became lame 

Deep inside women need the right sexual connection.  If they can orgasm by you - you have her locked in.  If they can't orgasm by you, meaning they need to get off some other way, then you will never have them as a man. So you're right, if you were to become lame you would slowly lose her over time.  That's just the way it is.

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Hayato]

Definitely respect.