happiness

[Judy2]

i've been contemplating the topic of happiness and while there's been an increase in my baseline level of happiness, generally (but also practically) speaking, i still see some obstacles that i would like to discuss with you.

i mean, even when life is good or when we see some improvements, we can still worry about the future, what may go wrong, what may be taken away, what may fail....and if we followed through with that logic, it could technically mean that we can never be happy because there is always a chance that something will go wrong. 

how do you free yourself from this anxiety? just detach completely? but it's also naive to say that our happiness as human beings isn't tied to certain conditions (health, social bonds, etc.).

Edited 9 hours ago by Judy2

[moonawakening444]

If you detach completely you would die. 

you free yourself from anxiety by learning to accept the present moment just the way it is and it’s gradual

(By learning to accept the present moment i mean not fighting reality in your mind) 

in order to feel happy you need things to go your way, but to feel peace you’re not attached if things go your way or not, that’s the key 

the only reason why we can’t find happiness is because we are searching for it, like it’s somewhere in the future, and that’s why you will never find it…

it was always here, we just can’t see it because of our limited persepective 

hope it helps 🙏🏽

[Judy2]

2 minutes ago, moonawakening444 said:

the only reason why we can’t find happiness is because we are searching for it, like it’s somewhere in the future, and that’s why you will never find it…

that's a good point:)

thank you🙏

[Osaid]

The one that experiences the future is unhappy.

Are you that one?

Without using the word "future", where is it? What does it look like? Texture? Taste? Smell?

It doesn't take any time to be present. It also doesn't take any time to think of the future. It's a "trick" of awareness. The one that is aware doesn't go anywhere.

Actual happiness isn't about controlling or predicting the unreal (future). It's about being what is already real (present). Happiness is non-conceptual.

Meditatively, it's clear.

[Judy2]

@moonawakening444 but if i tell my brain to stop searching for happiness, it'll probably come up with something else that's more indirect and potentially even more misleading? 

[Judy2]

53 minutes ago, Osaid said:

Actual happiness isn't about controlling or predicting the unreal (future). It's about being what is already real (present). Happiness is non-conceptual.

Meditatively, it's clear.

do you have any tips on how to strengthen this awareness?

you said meditation, but many people (myself included) corrupt the meditative space by daydreaming, overthinking, etc. it's kind of what i do when i'm running and trying to think of the right thing to think about in that moment, and usually the best i can do is focus on positive future scenarios.... or maybe some interesting flowers that i see as i'm passing by. seeing and appreciating the flowers is the closest to being present that i can get, though it usually only happens in the absence of conscious effort.

Edited 8 hours ago by Judy2

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

how do you free yourself from this anxiety? just detach completely? but it's also naive to say that our happiness as human beings isn't tied to certain conditions (health, social bonds, etc.).

Interesting topic. The answer is that it is absolutely essential to be open to your absolute nature. Then you know that no matter what happens, you will be what you are, and you see death as the complete opening to what is.

If you are closed off to this reality, life is a trap. As Buddha said, human life is suffering because we are aware of impermanence and death and cannot cope with them.

Traditionally, people have clung to religion. Now that's gone, and what remains is imbalance. The only solution is true openness.

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Osaid said:

Without using the word "future", where is it? What does it look like? Texture? Taste? Smell?

So, what is no sensorial is false? That idea of enlightenment comes from Ralston or Tolle. It's full of mistakes.

"Smell" is something that happens in the mind. "future" also. Awareness of future is a human reality, they deny it as illusion, but still it exist

Edited 7 hours ago by Breakingthewall

[Osaid]

1 minute ago, Judy2 said:

do you have any tips on how to strengthen this awareness?

You are this awareness. Because you are it, it's not something you can attain or become better at. It is also eternal, since there is never any point in time where you would stop being yourself. The only matter is to start noticing this until it becomes obvious.

Focus on anything which is absolutely certain in your experience.

Your breath. Your heartbeat. A table. Or even just the fact of existing. Anything.

Notice that it is not the future.

Notice that the future is the notion of something other than that.

Then simply keep focus on it, and the unreal will vanish.

[Osaid]

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

but many people (myself included) corrupt the meditative space by daydreaming, overthinking, etc. it's kind of what i do when i'm running and trying to think of the right thing to think about in that moment, and usually the best i can do is focus on positive future scenarios.... or maybe some interesting flowers that i see as i'm passing by. seeing and appreciating the flowers is the closest to being present that i can get, though it usually only happens in the absence of conscious effort.

Lol there is no real corruption. You can't mess up being present. All of that is happening presently.

You are introducing the idea that you are not allowed to daydream or do this and that, but it is unnecessary. No matter how hard you try, you wont ever actually stop being present. That's eventually what is realized.

Meditation is like falling asleep. You simply let go of everything. Even the notions of effort or becoming more present or more spiritual. You do this until you reach what is most fundamental to your experience. Then you stay there. Simple.

Edited 7 hours ago by Osaid

[Judy2]

@Osaid i know that too much daydreaming can be dysfunctional, but would you say it's not something that needs to be avoided entirely? atm i sort of scold myself for it whenever i notice myself doing it. 

[gettoefl]

Quote

It is your thoughts alone that bring you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world that has the power to make you ill or unhappy, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are.

My holy child, think of this awhile: The world you see does nothing. It has no effects at all. It merely represents your thoughts. And it will change entirely as you elect to change your mind, and each moment remember the joy of God as what you really want. The Self is radiant in this holy joy, unchanged, unchanging and unchangeable, forever and forever. And would you deny a little corner of your mind its own inheritance, and instead keep it as a hospital for pain; a sickly place where living things must come at last to die?

- ACIM

 

[Judy2]

@gettoefl

thoughts are uncontrollable though, right? it's just that we think we control them, which is where all the trouble begins (?)

[Breakingthewall]

23 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

is your thoughts alone that bring you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world that has the power to make you ill or unhappy, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are.

Then if someone locks you in a box of 1 cubic meter for 5 years, you could be absolutely happy? 

Humans are not islands, are interconnected beings. Spirituality denies it and affirm that you (this you that they affirm is illusory) is the only responsible of your happiness. All genetic structures built in the deep time are illusion, you could decide being happy in any circumstance. Because you are an island and the other are imaginary. Just utter narcissism. 

Modern spirituality is narcissism. It's closer from truth Donald trump than a non dualistic guru

Edited 5 hours ago by Breakingthewall

[gettoefl]

46 minutes ago, Judy2 said:

@gettoefl

thoughts are uncontrollable though, right? it's just that we think we control them, which is where all the trouble begins (?)

There are only two thoughts: I am a body-mind character surviving in a world and I am not that but rather something unimaginable and beyond. Each moment is a choice how to identify. Most of us default to the first thought since we didn't know we had a choice. The practice is to choose again and re-wire one's identity to its true nature. It is moment by moment. Meditation is helpful to practice.

When identity corrects, then thoughts are of a different nature too. Love not fear, joy not pain, innocence not guilt. 

Thus don't worry about thoughts. Focus on correcting the root thought.

[gettoefl]

42 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Then if someone locks you in a box of 1 cubic meter for 5 years, you could be absolutely happy? 

Humans are not islands, are interconnected beings. Spirituality denies it and affirm that you (this you that they affirm is illusory) is the only responsible of your happiness. All genetic structures built in the deep time are illusion, you could decide being happy in any circumstance. Because you are an island and the other are imaginary. Just utter narcissism. 

Modern spirituality is narcissism. It's closer from truth Donald trump than a non dualistic guru

The only problem in the world is interpretation. We see bad. We should say, this in my mind tricking me. I don't know what this means. I am ready to see differently. This ushers in a miracle. Everything gets reinterpreted. Your box is my bliss. Nothing can touch me. 

Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.

Edited 5 hours ago by gettoefl

[Breakingthewall]

45 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

The only problem in the world is interpretation. We see bad. We should say, this in my mind tricking me. I don't know what this means. I am ready to see differently. This ushers in a miracle. Everything gets reinterpreted. Your box is my bliss. Nothing can touch me. 

Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.

Then if someone locks you in a 1m3 box for 5 years, the only problem is your mind, that's is tricking you?

[gettoefl]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

Then if someone locks you in a 1m3 box for 5 years, the only problem is your mind, that's is tricking you?

Seems you follow well. Waking up is saying, I have a body, am not a body. Body is good tool. I use it well, or not. Your will be done, not mine O God. Pain is the message, more work needs doing. I still wrongly identified. Only body feels pain. Not ever changeless me.

Edited 2 hours ago by gettoefl

[Someone here]

In my experience the only solution to “ worrying about the future “ and just being fully in the moment is by facing some real life difficulties that will make you grateful afterwards for what you have . Like maybe getting an open hurt surgery or something that will make you forever grateful for the fact that you are even alive at all with a well functioning heart and mind . People get hit by trucks..die in fires..lose their kids.. their job etc. Shit happens honey .. But unfortunately that’s the only way to growth . No pain ..no gain . Obviously I don’t endorse you intentionally get yourself into trouble ..But you NEED a spiritual practice that prevents you from getting sucked too deeply into the drama of life. And this will certainly happen. Over and over and over. The practice is navigating this cycle and becoming more skillful at doing so.

Good luck

[Breakingthewall]

37 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

Seems you follow well. Waking up is saying, I have a body, am not a body. Body is good tool. I use it well, or not. Your will be done, not mine O God. Pain is the message, more work needs doing. I still wrongly identified. Only body feels pain. Not ever changeless me.

I don't understand what are you saying. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Breakingthewall