How much to share about your past with a girl you're dating? (+ what about cheating?)

[UpperMaster]

Hey guys, I am inexperienced and need clarification on whether or not you should share your personal dating history with a girl you're dating, to what detail and at what point of time?

I've never cheated, but if someone did cheat in the past, when or should they even bring it up? 

I'm getting more and more experience by the day, listening to all the stories my friends tell me (both men and women). It seems like good things don't seem to come from sharing your past because if a relationship ended there is always a reason and it's rarely one sided..but at the same time it feels like it is necessary to build trust. I'm so fucking confused. It's driving me insane.

I tend to overshare, but I am so scared to do so. 

Thanks for the replies in advance, Im so interested to hear your opinions.

 

 

[WonderSeeker]

Don't share unless she asks.

[IslandWild]

2 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

Hey guys, I am inexperienced and need clarification on whether or not you should share your personal dating history with a girl you're dating, to what detail and at what point of time?

Don't bring up your history yourself voluntarily, be present with her. Only give her basic answers to basic questions that SHE asks. If she digs for too many details I would try to change the topic or play coy and say something like, "I'm with you now, you don't need to worry about past girls, they weren't that special." or "I don't kiss and tell."

2 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

I've never cheated, but if someone did cheat in the past, when or should they even bring it up? 

If you did ever cheat, I don't see why you'd ever share that. Just seems like a good way to self-sabotage. It's probably incredibly rare that it would be a good way to build trust. If a girl I was with admitted she has cheated in the past I would drop her like a bag of rocks at the end of the day I heard it.

You need to keep some mystery about yourself in the early/mid stages of a relationship or it will damage their attraction levels to you.

Edited 2 hours ago by IslandWild

[UpperMaster]

44 minutes ago, IslandWild said:

Don't bring up your history yourself voluntarily, be present with her. Only give her basic answers to basic questions that SHE asks. If she digs for too many details I would try to change the topic or play coy and say something like, "I'm with you now, you don't need to worry about past girls, they weren't that special." or "I don't kiss and tell."

If you did ever cheat, I don't see why you'd ever share that. Just seems like a good way to self-sabotage. It's probably incredibly rare that it would be a good way to build trust. If a girl I was with admitted she has cheated in the past I would drop her like a bag of rocks at the end of the day I heard it.

You need to keep some mystery about yourself in the early/mid stages of a relationship or it will damage their attraction levels to you.

Okay thank you. I appreciate this lengthy answer this makes so much sense. Appreciate this so much you don't know.

[UpperMaster]

Any other opinions? Does anyone support being open in the beginning?

Edited 1 hour ago by UpperMaster

[Sucuk Ekmek]

3 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

 need clarification on whether or not you should share your personal dating history with a girl you're dating, to what detail and at what point of time?

 

 

Is she asking for the receipt? There are ways to ask this question. Each of them gets a different answer.

 

3 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

 

I've never cheated, but if someone did cheat in the past, when or should they even bring it up? 

 

 

 

Whenever she/he wants. They can keep it aswell.

3 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

 

 It seems like good things don't seem to come from sharing your past 

 

 

 

Perhaps, you don't have to share your past. People should respect that.