This is Why You Should Learn Social Skills & Pickup

[CARDOZZO]

Look at how people talk about dating. This is awful, strange, unrealistic. They are completely clueless about what makes a woman attracted to yourself.

This is why guys struggle a lot with attraction and dating. 

 

Edited 1 hour ago by CARDOZZO

[Ulax]

Pickup can be great. But i don't see it as a solution to men's dating issues.

Its way too difficult to be a reasonable solution that will help most struggling dudes out.

Its good for the minority of dudes who are willing/ able to put in the high effort and strategy to really transform their dating lives.

Basic social skills help is a better form of general solution I'd say.

[bazera]

2 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Basic social skills help is a better form of general solution I'd say.

It's pickup an attempt of doing that? Attempt at traning social skills.

[Ulax]

I'd say yes, but with two exceptions.

Firstly, it just sort of skips the beginner social skills stage. For example, most pickup doesn't start with you going to the local meetup and just practising making friends with others who are also there to make friends. It starts with you going to some bar that can be hella intimidating as a noob lol. And the social skills needed to have good interactions are higher.

Its like learning swimming by your dad chucking you into the deep end of the swimming pool lol.

Secondly, its all fixated around making you have social skills that help make sex from cold approach more likely. Things like relationships and friendship social skills are not included much.

But i dont want to speak too much on this subject. I have struggled a lot with pickup in the past, have done maybe 10 months total of it consistently and am still low on the skill tree. So i dont want to mislead.

Edited 1 hour ago by Ulax

[CARDOZZO]

49 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Pickup can be great. But i don't see it as a solution to men's dating issues.

It is just the beginning.

Pickup is to attract woman, It is really different to develop long-term relationships skills but it helps. 

[bazera]

@Ulax Yeah I agree. Just imagine dragging a guy from his basement who hasn't seen a live human being for 5 years and has zero friends and zero social skills to the pickup bootcamp and making him approach. That won't go well.

I like the gradual approach you're suggesting. Social skills can be developed with friends, at job, univercities, etc. But it also needs proactive approach, constantly challenging yourself and getting yourself out there and being vulnerable in many ways. Doesn't have to be cold approaching cute girls in the beginning.

It's really the question of how vulnurable you're willing to be in front of some group of people. 

[CARDOZZO]

43 minutes ago, Ulax said:

It starts with you going to some bar that can be hella intimidating as a noob lol

Actually, it depends. 

I knew about a pickup/social skills program where you start just asking for hours on the streets, looking cashiers in the eyes and asking how is the day going, basic stuff.. You would progressively levelling up like a game from noob to master  

 

[Ulax]

29 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

It is just the beginning.

Pickup is to attract woman, It is really different to develop long-term relationships skills but it helps. 

I get you.

I was just making the argument that pickup is useful advice for a minority of men. But is too difficult to be a solution for most men.

[Ulax]

22 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

Actually, it depends. 

I knew about a pickup/social skills program where you start just asking for hours on the streets, looking cashiers in the eyes and asking how is the day going, basic stuff.. You would progressively levelling up like a game from noob to master  

 

Haha fairs. I guess I was being too generalised in my comment.

I might try that out actually. I've been struggling to get myself to give it another go. I tried one of Todd V's challenges around not being the first to break eye contact if you lock eyes with a girl when out and about. But have struggled to find a next step that isn't too daunting. But i dunno, i probably just need to get wings lol.

[Ulax]

37 minutes ago, bazera said:

@Ulax Yeah I agree. Just imagine dragging a guy from his basement who hasn't seen a live human being for 5 years and has zero friends and zero social skills to the pickup bootcamp and making him approach. That won't go well.

I like the gradual approach you're suggesting. Social skills can be developed with friends, at job, univercities, etc. But it also needs proactive approach, constantly challenging yourself and getting yourself out there and being vulnerable in many ways. Doesn't have to be cold approaching cute girls in the beginning.

It's really the question of how vulnurable you're willing to be in front of some group of people. 

I get what you're saying bro. Makes sense.

But I really want to make clear that I'm not suggesting you do that. I really don't have the success in this area to be giving out advice, besides some very basic stuff. Makes sense to me logically tho what you say. Wings REALLY helped me get started approaching too.

Though, I was watching Leo's how to get laid video last night. And he did advise that if you are someone who is socially anxious, like with most people, that basic social stuff should be the first step. Rather than going from basementmaxxing to some club haha!

Edited 59 minutes ago by Ulax

[bazera]

@Ulax I don't really have much experience with pickup either, but I have some nice social skills that I use whenever I'm out socializing. I see that as a great baseline foundation that I can build my pickup skills if I want to, even without wings. Rejections will hurt for sure, but that's the whole point in training.

I was saying that people who don't have that baseline of social skills will struggle at pickup a lot more, and it's better to gradually build it up. It just makes sense to do it that way.

Quote

basementmaxxing

Lol

Edited 50 minutes ago by bazera

[Ulax]

Just now, bazera said:

@Ulax I don't really have much experience with pickup either, but I have some nice social skills that I use whenever I'm out socializing. I see that a great baseline foundation that I can build my pickup skills if I want to, even without wings. Rejections will hurt for sure, but that's the whole point in training.

That is great that you have that baseline already man. Nice work on that.

I was saying that people who don't have that baseline of social skills will struggle at pickup a lot more, and it's better to gradually build it up. It just makes sense to do it that way.

Yeah that definitely makes sense