Struggles with Game as an INFP

[Oppositionless]

This is almost entirely conjecture but if I had to guess 

pickup is obviously harder for introverts (I) than extroverts (E)

harder for intuitives (N) than sensors (S)

and harder for thinkers (T) than feelers (F)

the P/J dichotomy I don't think has an impact 

leo is an intp so pickup for him was xxl difficulty 

Edited 6 hours ago by Oppositionless

[bazera]

34 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

When I say depth, I want to truly penetrate the other person, on a body-mind-soul level. I want to know how they REALLY, AUTHENTICALLY (and not some BS socially correct answer that they answer unconsciously, and have so for a million times) feel and think about important topics in life: meaning of life for them, what are their biggest dreams and goals, what kind of a person they truly are: their values, their personality traits, weaknesses and strengths. What is their level of empathy and moral development? What are they most afraid and scared of? What do they deeply desire, want and need in a romantic partner? What kind of friends do they have? Why did they break up from their last relationship and what did they learn from it?

How self-aware are they? How aware are they of their self-deceptions, biases, assumptions and judgements? What is their cognitive development?

How in touch with their emotions are they? Do they have the ability to open up and be vulnerable? Are they overly emotional? Can they regulate their own emotions?

Good stuff!

Have you ever experienced all that with a girl, and knew her so well that you had answers to all those question in relation to her? Doesn't it get boring after a while? Maybe after years? 

What I'm asking is, how sustainable is that kind of intimacy, it's very exciting in the beginning, but can the excitement last through years? 

How can we maintain intimacy through the years? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I guess it has stages, and the initial stages are especially exciting, when all those questions you listed are fresh and you're in a discovery phase. Maybe it goes deeper and deeper, but also it might get shallow over time. Depends on the person and also depends on how far can you go in that, how deeply you grasp some of these stuff, that can be deepened more and more.

[Miguel1]

9 minutes ago, bazera said:

Good stuff!

Have you ever experienced all that with a girl, and knew her so well that you had answers to all those question in relation to her? Doesn't it get boring after a while? Maybe after years? 

What I'm asking is, how sustainable is that kind of intimacy, it's very exciting in the beginning, but can the excitement last through years? 

How can we maintain intimacy through the years? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I guess it has stages, and the initial stages are especially exciting, when all those questions you listed are fresh and you're in a discovery phase. Maybe it goes deeper and deeper, but also it might get shallow over time. Depends on the person and also depends on how far can you go in that, how deeply you grasp some of these stuff, that can be deepened more and more.

That’s the only way you have real intimacy.

Later on it isn’t about wild hormones going crazy, but rather real love and partnership towards each other, based on full trust, loyalty, friendship + romance.

The exciting, hormonal stuff is not sustainable, nor real intimacy. It is what immature and unconscious people chase.

Edited 5 hours ago by Miguel1

[Leo Gura]

30 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Pickup was my food back when I was a complete devil. You have no idea what an extremely selfish version of a good-looking (exotic as well, as I am in an extremely white-skinned country, where they look at tan like a God-given gift, no kidding, and I have it naturally) manipulative, highly charismatic ENFJ is capable of, when it comes to attracting girls.

Interesting arc.

[bazera]

3 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

That’s the only way you have real intimacy.

Later on it isn’t about wild hormones going crazy, but rather real love and partnership towards each other, based on full trust, loyalty, friendship + romance.

The exciting, hormonal stuff is not sustainable, nor real intimacy. It is what immature and unconscious people chase.

You seem to have gone through the pickup phase and saw the shallowness of it. Did that desire for long-term love and partnership come after exhausting that more primitive need or it was there in the beginning as well?

[Oppositionless]

@Miguel1 interesting . Silly question , did you ever get "mogged" by ESFJ Bros? Or could you easily defuse them?

Edited 5 hours ago by Oppositionless

[Rigel]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

That’s the only way you have real intimacy.

Later on it isn’t about wild hormones going crazy, but rather real love and partnership towards each other, based on full trust, loyalty, friendship + romance.

The exciting, hormonal stuff is not sustainable, nor real intimacy. It is what immature and unconscious people chase.

Bingo. Sustainable relationships don’t usually start with a blast of passion. That’ll likely end up burning both parties. Clear headed assessment of compatibility is key. Then you build passion on top of that solid base.

 

[ROOBIO]

21 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Haha!

That's an introvert.

Introverts are not Unibombers living in a  shed.

Extroverts go socialize to recharge. And they can't stop yapping verbal diahrea.

Lol, this is my life right now. I quit my job in the west. Moved to Sri Lanka. Living in paradise, in solitude.

Meditating/Kriya 3-5 hours a day. Working on my own mental health startup from my computer.

My life is so simple, isolated, yet fully alive. Probably the most I have ever felt.

Walking on the beach I came across a saltwater crocodile with no legs. 

I feel so much more at home being alone then with being around people all the time. 

Well right now that is. 

Love is here right now, within us, if you can cry at a women stroking a dog. Seeing the beauty in that. The beauty in all qualia. Seeing yourself as colour not as human. What do you need

 

Edited 2 hours ago by ROOBIO

[PenguinPablo]

5 hours ago, Oppositionless said:

This is almost entirely conjecture but if I had to guess 

pickup is obviously harder for introverts (I) than extroverts (E)

harder for intuitives (N) than sensors (S)

and harder for thinkers (T) than feelers (F)

the P/J dichotomy I don't think has an impact 

leo is an intp so pickup for him was xxl difficulty 

I think I might also be INTP.

It might be harder in some ways for perceiving types since they struggle more with follow through and structure which is needed to learn game in a more systematic way -- which could be described as almost definitionally. 

What's the formula open, hook, close?

Edited 1 hour ago by PenguinPablo

[Leo Gura]

As an INTP, I enjoyed learning the theory of game more than going out and doing game.

Lol.

[PenguinPablo]

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

As an INTP, I enjoyed learning the theory of game more than going out and doing game.

Lol.

Point proven.

INTPs do it for the love of learning.

Not necessarily as execution obsessed like INTJ or ENTJ.

Still I struggle to close this loop in my life until I gain somewhat of level of results. 

I think for certain personality types need to be okay with "settling" or adjusting the bar according to their temperament. 

Maybe it's the wrong goal to begin with.

[Oppositionless]

@PenguinPablo I realized I only wanted to get good at game because I had a mistaken belief that my worth as a human and as a man depended on my prowess with women. If I could go back I would have married the girl I lucked into when I was 21 and focused my attention on awakening.

 

Edited 29 minutes ago by Oppositionless

[PenguinPablo]

25 minutes ago, Oppositionless said:

@PenguinPablo If I could go back I would have married the girl I lucked into when I was 21 and focused my attention on awakening.

@Oppositionless Thank you for sharing this. 

Yeah and I def think about that.

The amount of time being wasted obsessing over a false goal. 

Likely preventing me from connecting with others (or myself) authentically. 

Imma figure out my way out of this. 

It's now or never, either way.

Edited 4 minutes ago by PenguinPablo