illusions breaking

[Olaf]

I feel that the older I get, the more I realise the fakeness of everything. Money doesn't make you happy, relationships are great experiences but won't last and will leave you heartbroken, getting fame in small or big amounts gives you validation that wears off, highs turn into lows. A middle path as the buddha describes is maybe the most blissful way to exist. Things seem to matter less to me the older I get, I am less intrested in making money, less intrested in helping people, less intrested in making friends or getting into a relationship, maybe I am going through some spiritual depression where the meaning of things seem to evaporate and the only thing that is left is just this moment. What is really the goal here? survive? Leave a contribution? gather beautiful moments that are very small and temporary? I think I glorified life when I was younger, now that illusions break more and more nothing really excites me. Even spiritual practices seem just a way to avoid a bigger problem, what is that you still have to survive and live and without any ambition to do so, as illusions of a great future or even a great NOW as eckhart tolle would say seems to fade away, if I want to be NOW all the time, I don't have to be in this physical body suffering the maintenance of keeping this body alive. Survival seems truely pointless, unless there is meaning to your life. For me, very little meaning seems left in keeping this body afloat. I guess not upsetting anyone, but that is just to keep the peace, not really a reason to keep going. Going through the motions is probably the most true statement I have heard, that is how my life has been feeling for years, it has been feeling far from something great. I think I might even be jealous of Jesus, cause atleast he was able to use his suffering for good use, my suffering just seems of no use and therefor it becomes moving through the motions instead of moving towards something. I don't hate life or people or existing, I think I am just tired and have not much left in me. I had an exciting run in my younger years until truth started to become more clear to me and illusions, dreams of the ego started to be realised as illusions instead of great promises for a great future. 

[Willy Phallicus]

Meaning is not a given, its created.  So create it.

[Ziran]

1 hour ago, Olaf said:

... illusions break more and more nothing really excites me

cultivate wonder.  if you can, get out the map, and move that body.

 

 

Edited 15 hours ago by Ziran

[Jowblob]

That's why you must try to find god or a way to become god realized, new doors will open to a life you never knew. At the end if you have progressed through everything here including spiritual realm  then it's time to reincarnate again and start again with a fresh wipe. The most astounding beauty is when you can rediscover the same world at a young age.

[VeganAwake]

Find something to celebrate everyday.

At least you don't have testicular cancer. 🤷‍♂️