Ugly

[Boost]

Is it true that if somebody is ugly (for example four out of ten look) then he has to be extremely good in something, work really hard to get a normal or even valuable girlfriend? Like if a woman is interested in in a certain hobby then you have to be in the upper 20% of men in that thing. Like if the girl like traveling then you have to travel at the best places, or if the girl is a gamer then you have to be better than 80% of men or if she is into building career then you will be the boss somewhere.

[integral]

1. Women care about vibe and how you make them feel and they will sleep with you even if you're homeless.
2. Separately from the above: Yes your looks matter and it gives you a free advantage in life in many areas.
3. Thirdly money and Status do attract women but the quality of those relationships will be probably low unless you have the wisdom to select great partners.

The three things above are true all at the same time.

There's plenty of options

Edited yesterday at 12:12 PM by integral

[Leo Gura]

@Boost Women don't care about your hobbies or work. They care about how you make them feel emotionally.

The uglier you are the more you need of the following: charisma, fame, wealth, personality. Or you just need to talk to many women to find one who likes you. The worse your looks the more women you'll need to talk to.

Edited yesterday at 12:22 PM by Leo Gura

[Optimized Life]

Looks/style

Logistics

charisma/game 

Approach frequency/socialisation hours

Nothing else really matters 

You dont need all of these 4 factors maxed out, but the higher each of these factors is the greater your chances of getting women, and obviously if 1 of these factors is really low, you may have to overcompensate by maxing out the others

Each factor on its own is actually really hard to get and maintain in the modern world, you have to really fight for it, let alone all of them. 99% of people will just end up broke, fat and depressed, not because theyre weak per se, but modern society pushes us to be this way

Hobbie only matters to the extenet that it leads to you increasing 1 of those 4 factors

If hobbie is highly social and full of hot women then yeah, it can obviously help 

Gym is good hobbie because it increases both looks and charisma (yes charisma because less tension in the body), but it can be "bad" if its used as an addiciton and escape from meeting women

Edited yesterday at 12:55 PM by Optimized Life

[Ramasta9]

I have a image of Old Mate Buddha on my wall, everyone seems to see his expression differently based on the state of consciousness they are in. Some see him happy, some sad, some neutral, some even ugly... it all depends where they are at. One who is beautiful inside sees beauty in all things.

The point is to see thru the form into the soul where the original light shines, then you truly see what you are looking at. And remember, what you think is a 4/10 could be someone else's 10/10, vice versa, all is perspective at the end of the day. 

 

Edited yesterday at 12:46 PM by Ramasta9

[bazera]

34 minutes ago, Optimized Life said:

99% of people will just end up broke, fat and depressed, not because theyre weak per se, but modern society pushes us to be this way

In what way? It comes down to taking personal responsibility and ownership somehow, after maybe years of neglect, suffering, struggle and no results. When you've had you shit enough, you get serious.

But I don't know how much percentage of guys go to that point.

[Boost]

I'm 22 y old. I'm here next to college, sitting in the bench, but ia fear to approach. I will go only for looksmatch (4 out of 10) or below. This is a relativly small town, I fear people will take me as crazy.

[LordFall]

Your looks will rarely hold you back as a man. But you do need to make up for them with being more charming or finding an edge somewhere yes. If you just want a mid girlfriend though it won't be a big deal but I'd still encourage anyone to level themselves up no matter how they look. 

[Boost]

I'm a very introverted person. some minutes ago only 5 girl passed next to me so I approached only 5. All of them were maximum 4 out of ten. I approcahed them with smoothness and improvisation. 2 of them smiled and said they have a boyfriend. 2 of them didn't look at me just laught at me. 1 of them looked angry. 

[integral]

2 minutes ago, Boost said:

I'm a very introverted person. some minutes ago only 5 girl passed next to me so I approached only 5. All of them were maximum 4 out of ten. I approcahed them with smoothness and improvisation. 2 of them smiled and said they have a boyfriend. 2 of them didn't look at me just laught at me. 1 of them looked angry. 

Not a bad attempt sounds good, I just want to know that don't Focus too much on looks like this, focus on how you feel and the vibe. It makes no difference what they look like.

The better you feel and the zone you are the better your results are going to be, how you feel will translate to how they're going to feel.

Edited yesterday at 03:29 PM by integral

[MarkKol]

All women are attracted to the same behavior and not the same looks so why bother even thinking about it?

Social proof and preselection are #1, these are well studied. This is when a woman sees you socializing and having a good time at the bar and she gets attracted to you because of it. This is probably how 99% of your ancestors got laid. 

[Optimized Life]

On 25/03/2026 at 1:21 PM, bazera said:

In what way? It comes down to taking personal responsibility and ownership somehow, after maybe years of neglect, suffering, struggle and no results. When you've had you shit enough, you get serious.

But I don't know how much percentage of guys go to that point.

Don't project your personal story on to how you think most men will end up. 

It's easy to get into your self improvement positivity bubble, but more humble and self honest to admit that the odds are against everyone because statistically and anecdotally you see that basically everyone does end up fat, broke and mediocre, and this "paranoid" sense of humility is what i'd argue would keep someone from becoming insular, lazy and weak like everyone else. 

"When you've had you shit enough, you get serious" - For you hopefully yes, but for most they just normalise to eating more shit, and bathing in it, like stockholm syndrome. 

In reality humans are hardwired to conserve energy and avoid discomfort, that is the DEFAULT mode, AND modern society amplifies this *10,000 and pushes this onto everyone, thats what I mean. 

Yes you can be the exception and do the opposite, but dont act like its normal or easy and most people are doing it. 

Saying its just "about taking personal responsibility" also massively overcomplicates the modern world we live in, which is extremely expensive, stressful, tiring full of cheap dopamine, many people who are "taking resopnsibility" and who work like 3 jobs are still just fat, depressed, medocire and jaded ect.. because they're barely paying rent, they're unhealthy, undreslept, stressed, and 50 other things. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

On 25/03/2026 at 1:21 PM, bazera said:

But I don't know how much percentage of guys go to that point.

Less than 1%. 

They shut it out and numb it before it gets to that point, with defence mechanisms and soothing mechanisms and distractions, they dont feel the pain deeply enough, they dont want it bad enough. 

Its not normal to wake up.

People live on autopilot until their dead. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Optimized Life

[bazera]

@Optimized Life 

29 minutes ago, Optimized Life said:

Yes you can be the exception and do the opposite, but dont act like its normal or easy and most people are doing it. 

I've been struggling to break some of the bad habits for literally years with no success, and I call that a lack of responsibility in me. I haven't said any of this was normal or easy, it's extremely hard and difficulty is varied from individual to individual. Someone might loss weight easily while I struggle to do so for years. 

Life is difficult as hell, nobody argues against that, but what are you gonna do about it? If not for 100%, isn't it your responsibility to handle your basic survival even when you are in harsh conditions? Who else will do it? 

Your view is too negative. I'm not a fan of false positivity either, but I stay hopeful even in the darkest moment of my life. Somewhere deep inside I know I still have time to do small steps that will benefit me in a grand scheme of things. 

I have no idea how many people are doing it. 

Yes, odds are against you. Yes, life is hard and survival is a struggle for many of us. Yes, sometimes it feels hopeless and depressing. Yes, we are bombared with cheap dopamine 24/7 from all directions. But in the end it's your responsibility to manage all that, who else is gonna do it for you? 

Of course there are many variables here, mental disorders, warzones, childhood abuse, etc. Not everybody gets the same cards. And that makes it very hard for some people to do this then others.

Edited 2 hours ago by bazera