How to actually land a date in dating apps?

[paradiseengineering]

Hi! In dating apps like Hinge I have no problem getting a lot of matches.

I match quite a few girls that are 10/10 in my eyes, and a lot of them actually write to me first. The problem is actually having a conversation and landing a date. I just dont know what to write and often they stop replying after a while.

Do anyone have any golden tips on how to carry a conversation and land a date as a man? I have been on a few dates but its a very small minority compared to the amount of matches. I can be a bit slow with replying and im a bit sensitive/ artsy dude, not your stereotypical "alpha male" you can say. Sometimes the convo goes well but when I actually ask them out they stop replying. 

[Hojo]

@paradiseengineeringUse ai to talk to them.

EX:

I am trying to talk to a woman on hinge i need an opening statement or something to begin the conversation. Things I know based on the profile, black woman, has picture with dogs, walking in the park with father. Likes hiking, gardening,mountain climbing. big black booty, big lips. Speak like alpha male

Gemini said

A solid opening on an app like Hinge needs to be bold, direct, and focused on her lifestyle rather than just her looks. Since she’s clearly into the outdoors and values family, you want to lead the conversation by showing you’re a man of action who pays attention to the details that matter.

Here are a few options that range from adventurous to high-energy:

The Adventure Leader

"I see the hiking and mountain climbing—looks like you actually enjoy a challenge. I’m planning my next trek; tell me the best view you’ve seen so far so I can decide if you’re coming with me."

The Observant Alpha

"Gardening and mountain climbing is an elite combination of patience and grit. Most people can't handle both. Which one do you actually find more therapeutic?"

The Direct Approach

"You have an incredible energy in your photos, especially the ones out in nature. It's rare to find a woman who’s as comfortable on a trail as she is in the city. Let’s skip the small talk—what’s the most ambitious thing on your bucket list this year?"

Pro-Tips for the Follow-Up:

Stay Decisive: If she responds with a trail she likes, don't ask "Where is that?" Say, "Send me the coordinates. I'll check it out."

Compliment the Vibe: Since you noticed her features, keep those compliments for the actual date. On the app, focus on her presence and ambition. It builds more tension.

The Dog Factor: If you want to use the dogs as a "wingman," you could say: "The dogs look like they've got a solid life, but I think I could give them some competition for your favorite hiking partner."


You dont have to do it word for word but you can get hints on what to say.

okay seh replies now I need to secure a date with this black beauty. I want to stick my face in her butt what are some things I can say to secure the date. Speak like alpha male.

Gemini said

To secure the date, you need to maintain that high-value, dominant energy. The goal here is to pivot from the "app talk" to a real-life meeting by being the one who takes the lead and makes the decision.

Since she responded to your opener about her lifestyle and hobbies, use that momentum. You want to show her you’re a man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it, but keep the focus on chemistry and presence for now—saving the physical intensity for when you're actually together creates much stronger tension.

Here are a few "Alpha" ways to close the deal:

The "Decision Maker" Close

"I like your energy, but I’m a big believer that chemistry can’t be felt through a screen. I’m grabbing drinks at [Insert Sophisticated Bar Name] this Thursday at 8. Join me—I want to see if you’re as captivating in person as you are in these photos."

The "Activity Lead" Close

"Since you’re into hiking, you clearly appreciate the outdoors. Let’s do something better than a standard coffee date. Meet me at [Local Park/Trailhead] on Saturday morning. I’ll bring the energy; you bring that adventurous spirit. See you then?"

The "High-Value" Pivot

"You're definitely interesting, but I don't do 'pen pals.' Let’s get off this app and see if we actually vibe. What’s your number? I’ll text you to coordinate a spot for us to meet up this week."

Why This Works:

Confidence over Permission: Notice none of these are questions like "Would you like to?" or "Are you free?" You are stating a plan.

Building Anticipation: By focusing on her "captivating" nature or "energy," you’re acknowledging her beauty without sounding desperate. It makes her want to prove she lives up to the hype.

The Takeaway: If she hesitates, don't chase. A simple "Let me know when your schedule clears up" shows you have other things going on.

You dont have to waste your brain power with this anymore, a gift from God.

Dont copy Ai word for word use it as a tool to get an idea. Thats plagiarism. This will effect your psyche when meeting the woman. If you change it your psyche will say I did it. Just change words like you would trying not to plagarism a school essay. And you wont feel like you wasted too much brain power and get upset if you are rejected. You can practice this and eventually you will actually know how to do it without AI.

Edited 19 hours ago by Hojo

[Cred]

The trick is never to be too broad, try to write something specific about her. Also always end on a question you think she wants to answer.

[meta_male]

13 hours ago, paradiseengineering said:

The problem is actually having a conversation and landing a date. I just dont know what to write and often they stop replying after a while.

You aren't really interested in them, you just want a date cause you think she's a 10/10, you put her on a pedestal and then you freeze.

13 hours ago, paradiseengineering said:

I can be a bit slow with replying and im a bit sensitive/ artsy dude, not your stereotypical "alpha male" you can say.

People will mirror this belief. Come up with a better story about yourself  

 

[aurum]

14 hours ago, paradiseengineering said:

The problem is actually having a conversation and landing a date. I just dont know what to write and often they stop replying after a while.

Don't overcomplicate it.

If she matched with you, assume she's already interested in a date. You don't have to "land" anything.

A full conversation is often not necessary on a dating app. Just a few messages can be enough. As soon as things seem like they're heading in the right direction, get to setting up the logistics of the date.

[paradiseengineering]

Thanks for the replies.

Gonna work on the beliefs I have about myself! 

Also I figured out that a lot of girls might use theese apps often more for the validation rather than going on dates. But then I realised that is often the case for me too. As within as without, it goes both ways.

Going on a Hinge date this week but Im considering just deleting all these apps for a good while and just focus on connecting with people in real life. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

2 hours ago, paradiseengineering said:

Going on a Hinge date this week but Im considering just deleting all these apps for a good while and just focus on connecting with people in real life. 

This will get you far more growth than the dating apps in my opinion